


I Love You, Stranger

by jade_lil



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Chaptered, I love you stranger, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-11
Updated: 2013-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-25 03:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 55,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/634578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_lil/pseuds/jade_lil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clutching the ring close to his chest, he rolled to his side and felt that prickle of pain rolling over him, almost numbing him but still not quite. He curled himself into a ball, slapping a hand over his mouth to keep himself from sobbing out loud as warm tears rolled down his face, shutting his eyes close at the memory of the man who went missing exactly two years that day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in my personal LJ.

**PROLOGUE**

 

He flipped the ring resting at the center of his palm, turning it over and over as light danced all around it, the glittering silver rays bouncing back and forth as he held it up, staring at it and wondering for the nth time…

Was it worth it?

There was that tight knot inside his chest again and though he had been feeling that same emotion lingering for the last couple of years, he still couldn’t quite get used to it. He was used to being alone, but not after waking up to the realization that no matter how hard he tried pretending that he was okay, he knew he wasn’t and that he never will be.

Not since that day he went home to an empty apartment and his lover’s name all over the news as one of the many unfortunate people who wasn’t able to make it home alive. There hadn’t been much time to dwell on the thought, let alone make it past the initial shock that seemed to numb his senses right then and there. Probably because he was in denial; or maybe he still was, no one could tell at this point. It’s because he’s always been good at hiding his pain where nobody could see it as he opted on putting up a brave face just for the sake of his sanity. But the other three knew better than to leave him alone then, because when the pain started to be terrifyingly unbearable, he broke down into tiny pieces and it was only the three of them who helped him and stood by him as he slowly sew himself back together.

It had been two years.

Two years of waiting; of wondering whether it was right holding on to a promise they made to each other, simply because at this point, though he didn’t want to admit it, he knew that it was pointless. He spent years of his life silently wishing for the impossible; feeding himself false hopes whenever he listened to the last voicemail he received from him the night before the incident. Until now, that piercing pain deep in his gut stunned him to no end; just remembering the feel of his lover’s arms around him and his lips touching his were enough to make him lose control. 

Clutching the ring close to his chest, he rolled to his side and felt that prickle of pain rolling over him, almost numbing him but still not quite. He curled himself into a ball, slapping a hand over his mouth to keep himself from sobbing out loud as warm tears rolled down his face, shutting his eyes close at the memory of the man who went missing exactly two years that day.

And for once, he decided to cry one last time and let go. There’s no way around it anymore; no other means to make things less painful because one way or another, he would have to do it. He had given himself enough time to wait while trying to believe a lie he kept feeding himself just because he still wasn’t ready to accept the fact that…

He’s not coming back. 

With a muffled sob, he let go of the ring at the same time he felt something inside him clenched, uttering a quiet ‘goodbye’ while his heart silently whispered - ‘I love you.’

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

**CHAPTER 1**

“Any plans for later? I think we’re free after this, we can go out and have dinner if you want…” Jun asked, not even bothering to look up from his script as he thumbed through the pages but he could feel the underlying worry present underneath those words and he sighed deeply, quietly. 

It’s that time of the year again.

“Well if you ask me, I think I’d rather spend some quality time with my beloved game console and beat the living shit out of that final boss I’ve been trying to annihilate for over a week now,” he answered, forcing out a grin. Jun finally raised his face and threw him a Look, lips pursed thinly. 

“Nino,” Jun called, cautiously peering at Nino underneath his lashes and Nino couldn’t help but scowl back.

“ – I know what you’re trying to do here, Jun-pon,” he grumbled, pausing in time to see Sho and Aiba simultaneously turned their heads towards him, worried eyes locked on his face. “ – I’m fine. Stop worrying about me so much, it’ll give you wrinkles and I swear to god, not even your nightly beauty routine could stop it from showing up in your face…”

“But it’s your birthday,” Aiba spoke for the first time, his tone insistent. Nino mentally rolled his eyes, feeling that sudden prick inside his ribcage that certainly wasn’t because of some sickness he might have acquired unknowingly. He breathed in deeply, unconsciously gripping the front of his chest as if it would somehow lessen the pain. Seeing the expression on Jun and Sho’s faces at exactly the same time he did it, Nino dropped his hand on his lap and shook his head, feeling a bit embarrassed. “ – we should at least celebrate! Don’t worry, it’s our treat. You don’t need to pay anything…” the taller man added with seemingly forced glee that made Nino wince quietly to himself. 

Nino shrugged nonchalantly. “ – I’d appreciate it more if you just give me the latest Final Fantasy game as a gift rather than going out to drink… you know I’m never fond of drinking expensive liquids that makes your head throb the next morning. I still think it’s rather stupid.” he murmured, his lips curling just the tiniest bit. 

“ – Nino,” this time, it was Sho; the older man looked entirely unconvinced at the obvious faked smugness on his tone and Nino suddenly felt tired… so tired about some things and everything all at the same time.

“ – fine,” he agreed, not bothering to save his game and closing his console without missing a beat. Then he raised his face and locked his eyes on Sho’s before shifting his gaze towards Jun and Aiba. “ – but don’t blame me if I decided to get royally drunk for once… I might even throw up in your faces if you’re all lucky…” he added with a smug grin before hauling himself up. Aiba was the first to throw himself at him, long arms and limbs wrapping around him into a warm, affectionate embrace. Jun stood behind them and smacked the back of Nino’s head lightly, snorting.

“ – as if I will let you… I’ll kill you if you as much as dare putting anything that comes out from your mouth near me…” he said with a faked threat and Nino rolled his eyes at him, feeling Aiba’s arms tightened around him before dropping one of his hand at the small of his back.

He didn’t know why he suddenly remembered the feel of someone else’s hand at the exact same place, shivering as he stilled for a moment before Aiba spoke up again.

“ – don’t worry Nino-chan, you can throw up at my face anytime!” 

Jun made a gagging sound at the back of his throat while Sho pretty much started rolling down the floor in laughter. “ – ewww, Masaki, that’s the grossest suggestion you have ever came up with! Shut up, just shut up!” 

Another round of loud laughter and Jun’s repeated whack against Aiba’s head, they lead him towards the door and outside their green room, just the four of them on their way to celebrate his 30th birthday.

#

He honestly couldn’t remember the last time the four of them went out like this and somehow, it was comforting to know that he still has it in him to actually enjoy their company despite having to remind himself repeatedly that being four was how it always has been. Jun and Sho had this look on their faces that made him squirm every now and then but true to being the reliable adults, they never once let an unnecessary word out just to keep the air between them as light as possible. 

Of course, everything changed when Aiba had finally pumped enough alcohol in his system that he decided it was high time for some serious reminiscing.

At that point, Nino wanted no part in it but Aiba’s insistent tugging and teary-eyed monologues prevented him from doing something drastic, say, leaving them to deal with Aiba and his never-ending questions or go home and pretend that it didn’t bother him anymore than he did before.

Still, Nino stayed and listened as Aiba poured his heart out and the rest of them remembering that one person who left them two years ago. 

Their beloved leader. Their dearest friend; and the love of Nino’s life.

Ohno Satoshi.

“ – you guys remember how good Leader was during interviews even though he was mostly asleep?” Aiba slurred, his voice too bright and slightly shaking and the corners of his eyes glistening with tears. Sho has one hand at the small of Aiba’s back while Jun pretty much stayed quiet since Aiba started mentioning Ohno’s name, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Nino was slumped back on the couch, fingers digging tightly against his palm as he listened and listened, swallowing back that lump forming in his throat.

“Aiba-chan,” Sho called, trying to distract the taller man by placing another bottle in front of him. They knew that the only way to shut him up was to get him drunker than ever until he could no longer open his eyes and the three of them would drag him out, chuckling to themselves. “ – there’s another bottle in front of you… go drink it up so we can go…”

Aiba whipped his head towards Sho, his lower lip quivering. “ – you are always like that!” he gritted, both hands moving to clutch the front of Sho’s shirt with a little too much force. “ – all three of you! You never want to talk about Leader! You never even want to mention his name… as if, as if, you are trying to forget his existence! He was one of us! And being dead doesn’t mean we have to forget him!” Aiba managed to choke out before Sho pulled him into a tight embrace, murmuring his apologies against Aiba’s hair.

“ – I know you’re all hurting,” he said after a while, “ – especially you, Nino… but remembering Leader doesn’t have to be like this… if I was the one who died, I would want you to smile when you remember me… I would want you to remember how I at least made you guys happy… not like this… not like this….” 

Nino looked up in time to see Jun wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Aiba’s words rung through his ears as he tried going over, remembering the past few times those actually happened and wincing to himself as he did so. Aiba was right; since Ohno’s apparent and unexpected ‘death’, it became a silent agreement not to openly discuss the matter, probably because they didn’t know how Nino would react. Because since that night Nino broke down in front of them, he never once mentioned it again. It was probably his fault, he realized, because then when any of the three unconsciously mentioned Ohno’s name, Nino’s answering response was to walk away, shoulders stiff and his expression dark.

Never once he admit that, at times like this when Aiba was too drunk to even care if he was about to be murdered for being a loud-mouth, was the only time Nino allowed himself to remember.

To remember the way Ohno’s hand fitted perfectly against his own; how the older man always knew when to open his arms and let Nino leaned in against him while the rest of them talked about anything and everything, their hands joined together until Nino dozed off against Ohno’s chest. He never allowed those memories when he’s alone, lying in their shared apartment’s bed because it was always hard for him to wake up the next morning, knowing that he was going to look for the familiar curve of Ohno’s body, the way he always did before he was gone. 

He never mentioned how listening to Aiba during these times was the only time he allowed himself to feel Ohno’s presence again around him; doing that always hurt him a thousand times more but it was the only way he knew how to do just so he could remind himself that Ohno was real and that everything that happened between them was too.

It somehow kept him from going insane but he didn’t have the strength to say it out loud; maybe, he was afraid that if he as much as start a conversation about the past, he might not be able to stop himself and he wouldn’t want that. He knew he wasn’t the only one who suffered the lost here, but somehow, his friends had allowed him to move on the way he wanted to… the three of them standing by and watching over him as he pulled himself back together.

“ – I m-miss him so much,” Nino whispered under his breath, swallowing hard and keeping his voice even. He saw Jun reached out his hand and pulled it back hesitantly when Nino threw him a hard glance, biting his lips down and sighed. Jun looked absolutely shocked when Nino crawled beside him, fingers trembling as he clutched Jun’s shirt and buried his nose against the crook of Jun’s neck. “ – I miss him so much…” Nino repeated, hot breath against Jun’s skin, choking at the emotions lingering at his every word. Jun stiffened for a moment before finally realizing that Nino was allowing this, opening his arms and dropping a light kiss against Nino’s temple.

“ – all of us do, Nino…” Jun said with a barely concealed tenderness, only reserved for their phenomenal leader and Nino broke down with a sob, his body shaking as he muffled his cries against Jun’s chest.

“ – I love him… I love him so much…” 

That night, as Jun cradled him close, Nino promised himself one thing;

Let Ohno go so he could finally let go of the pain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ.

“Is this really necessary?” Nino asked in a seemingly disbelieving tone, half-amused as he tried hiding his smile beneath his smirk. “ – I m-mean, you guys already treated me out to dinner last week and now this?” he added, crossing his arms tightly over his chest and narrowing his eyes when the only answer he got in return was Aiba’s quiet giggles and Jun’s I-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about shrug as the two of them continued stuffing Nino’s things onto Jun’s huge duffel bag.

The door to Nino’s bedroom opened softly and Sho’s face peeked in, beaming as soon as he saw what was happening and Nino stuck his tongue at him, scowling when Sho grinned even more as he joined the three of them inside the room.

“ – you’re in this too, Sakurai?” Nino gritted, arching one fine brow at the older man when Sho’s answering response was to throw one arm over Nino’s shoulder and pulling him closer. “ – I don’t know how you idiots managed to clear our schedule, let alone plan this so-called ‘weekend getaway’ without informing me about it …” he sighed and jabbed one bony elbow against Sho’s ribs, smiling smugly when the older man scuffed in surprise. 

“It’s not that easy,” Jun spoke for the first time since he and Aiba arrived and went straight into hogging Nino’s wardrobe without much of a single word. “ – but it’s honestly a thousand times easier now than it was before; Sho-chan’s manager took care of the cancelling of appointments while our managers helped us plan this one out.”

Nino shook his head in disbelief. “ – and what about Mori-chan?” he asked, talking about his own manager.

Sho took a step back and tapped Nino on the shoulder. “He doesn’t know anything,” Sho confessed sheepishly and Nino couldn’t help but snicker at the revelation, quietly thinking how to chastise his manager the next time they meet for being tremendously slow. “ – we didn’t tell him because we knew what’ll happen. That old man’s loyalty to you is scary, don’t you know that? And we aren’t that stupid because telling him means you’d eventually know about it and then you’d definitely say no.”

Nino snorted. “ – and you think by doing this, I’ll say Yes?”

“ – nope.” Aiba piped up, hauling the bag onto his shoulder and fishing out something out of his jacket pocket. Nino’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “ – but we prepared something in case you refused…” he said, passing a hanky over to Jun as the younger man accepted it, smiling wickedly. 

“ – you can say No,” Jun grumbled, the edges of the younger man’s mouth curling dangerously as he clutched the blue handkerchief possessively in between his palm. “ – the thing is, we’re not going to accept it. So we’re just going to take you with us and we don’t care whether you’re awake or not…”

Nino looked undoubtedly horrified. “ – y-you… t-that’s…”

Jun and Sho wasted no time as they both went to Nino’s side, both gripping Nino’s arms as Aiba led the way outside Nino’s bedroom. 

“ – so technically, we aren’t giving you any chances to refuse or to say no…” Jun added, grinning deviously as he and Sho nodded at each other and as if on cue, they turned and lifted Nino off the floor as if the younger man was made of nothing.

“ – this is illegal!” Nino muttered comically under his breath, feeling his weight being lifted as the two effortlessly carried him by the arms. He continued wriggling but that bubble of indescribable emotions, one of those he was sure was of sheer gratefulness for his band mate’s sometimes annoying way of showing him how much they love him. “ – let go of me or I’m calling the cops! This is kidnapping! You guys, argh!”

“ – Nino, will you please shut up? You’ll wake up your whole neighborhood!”, Jun breathed angrily but that fond smile tugging at the corners of his mouth contradicted the tone of his voice. Nino squeaked and let out an obviously delighted wail when Sho pinched his butt.

“ – he’s a brat,” Sho said in an amused tone, tightening his hold against Nino’s shoulder when Nino once again tried wriggling free. A light smack across the head was what it took for Nino to burst out laughing, just as Jun and Sho hoisted him up and started dragging him out of his apartment’s door while Aiba locked it behind them. 

“ – all good?” Aiba asked afterwards, all bright smiles and beaming. Jun and Sho nodded while Nino’s body was shaking in burst of silent giggle fits, amusement dancing across his features when Jun reached to tug his cap further down his face which they successfully made him wear earlier. Jun smiled and pinched Nino’s cheek which in turn Nino answered with a roll of his eyes.

“ – let’s go!” 

“ – let me go!”

#

“Are we still in Japan?” he asked, obviously teasing as each of them went inside that rented room/cottage, one by one, inspecting the room with much curiosity. The place seemed so awfully familiar and Nino realized he was wincing, vaguely remembering those numerous times they were sent to this kind of place for either filming or just for their usual get-together, all five of them.

Arashi as five and not four like they were now.

Sho and Jun chuckled to themselves, placing their bags down the floor and started inspecting the beds while Nino pretty much stayed where he was, glued on his feet as he felt Aiba’s presence behind him. 

“Don’t be such a pain, Nino,” Jun mocked playfully, running a hand through his hair as he settled himself on the bed at the far right corner while Sho opted on throwing himself on the bed next to Jun. Nino gave himself enough time to observe the place, pursing his lips when he realized that there were actually five beds and not four, biting his tongue to keep himself from saying something entirely inappropriate with regards to the whole set up of the place. “ – it was hard finding the perfect place since the festival’s around the corner. And of course, we didn’t want us to share the place with tourists because we know you will never stop complaining. It’s a good thing I talked to Natsuki about our plan and she told me about this place. Pretty expensive but since you’re not paying; you should just shut up and enjoy it…”

There was that stinging pain again but somehow, Nino realized he had finally learned how to keep it on the down low, that amused little smile still plastered across his face despite the almost unbearable pain he felt deep inside. With a quiet sigh, Nino reminded himself to breathe at the same time he felt a pair of warm arms hugging him from behind. A quiet chuckle escaped his lips just as Aiba dropped a sound kiss on top of his head, squeezing him tight inside the taller man’s arms.

He forced out a grin and rolled his eyes at Jun. “ – I think I don’t want to know the reason why of all people, you asked this idiot’s girlfriend for advice…” he said, feeling Aiba’s hold tightened around him. “ – let alone accepted that crazy girl’s suggestion of this place… you never know, maybe they’re cooking something idiotic behind our backs…” he added, ignoring Aiba’s muffled ‘hey!’ of protest. 

Jun’s proud smirk was actually answer enough but Nino knew that there’s more to it than what was written across the younger man’s eyes. Soon enough, while Jun absently checked on his nails, he muttered, “ – says the man who indulges the stupid couple and providing them a place to crash in when they’re both wasted enough to go back into their own apartment…” he said and Nino decided not to answer as he fought back the blush that threatened to creep up to his face. Instead, Nino muttered something suspiciously cursed-like, sighing when Aiba dropped another sound kiss against his left cheek.

He felt Aiba’s grin as the taller man ducked down, giggling against the top of his head and Nino momentarily wished he could somehow suspend the pain for a little while longer just so he could truly enjoy being with his friends, at least for once.

The thing was, Nino didn’t know how to do it without looking so much like he was just trying hard for the sake of being happy.

“So how do you find it, Nino-chan?” Aiba asked through his hair, playfully lifting him up as soon as Jun moved behind them and started shoving them both forward. “ – cool, right? Just like the old times…” he added, his voice trailing at the last word when he felt Nino stiffened inside his arms. “ – I, I’m s-sorry… I d-didn’t mean to~”

Nino managed a bratty laugh, throwing a playful swat across Aiba’s head as he desperately tried to lighten up the mood which obviously dropped all a sudden. 

“ – yeah right,” Nino mused, smirking. “ – this place reminds me of how much of an idiot you were during those days!” he said, whipping his head to the side and finding Sho’s and Jun’s equally guarded gazes. “ – right, Sho-chan? Do you remember what this idiot loves doing off-camera when we were having those Uda uda specials? What about that night we spent together after the barbeque session we had with that ojichan for the rowing episode? You and Oh-chan are a bunch of lunatic idiots when you two are in the same room together. I don’t know how the three of us managed to be in a band with the two of you, let alone spent almost half our lives’s indulging you two’s idiocy… I just realized how kind-hearted the three of us were…” he added with a dramatic sigh and enjoying the way Aiba’s eyes lit up and the other two’s expression softening at the mere mention of their leader’s name.

He knew it was high time to move on and he should probably start by learning how to say Ohno’s name during a normal conversation without visibly wincing. It’d be hard, probably harder than he thought it would be but he knew he would have to do it. 

There was just so much to be done for him to put his life back in order; little by little and with the help of his friends, he knew it was doable. He just needed to have a little faith on himself, just like what Ohno used to tell him before. 

With a soft smile, he turned and flung himself against Aiba’s back, their laughter filling up the four corners of the room as Aiba bounced them both forward, with the taller man’s hands supporting Nino as he hooked them under the inside of Nino’s knees.

Muffling his laugh against the hollow of Aiba’s neck, Nino felt something inside him opened up and smiling became so unbelievably easy, the way it hadn’t been in years.

#

“I just want to stay inside and play! You guys can go ahead and burn yourself to a crisp as long as you like but spare me. I agreed into coming with you guys to the extent that you’d leave me alone if I wanted to…” he muttered with a scowl, dodging Aiba’s attempt on giving him a piggyback ride towards the beach while Sho and Jun arranged the things they needed to bring with them. 

Jun had been bragging about the water since last night and though they knew Nino’s apparent dislike on being anywhere near the sea, they insisted on it and told him that the vacation would be useless if he wouldn’t want to at least try to go swimming, at least once. Maybe Nino was still on a fairly good mood last night because he didn’t even attempt on declining Jun’s offer, only realizing it later this morning when he woke up with Aiba’s overly excited giggles.

“Stay inside and play what?” Jun asked with a huff, seemingly uninterested to whatever it was Nino was saying as he stuffed the food they were bringing into Aiba’s backpack. Sho looked over at him but didn’t say anything, something glistened at the corners of his eyes that made Nino gasped.

“ – y-you didn’t~” he began, turning abruptly and strode past Aiba, dragging his feet back inside and inspected the bags wherein Aiba and Jun stuffed his things.

“ – WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU PUT MY DS?!” he screamed from inside, groaning as he heard his three other friends’ loud laughter from outside. Nino flopped himself down the bed, his clothes scattered all around him and sighed resignedly at the same time the door opened and Aiba came in with an impending grin stretched across his face.

“ – are you ready to go?” Aiba asked, still smiling.

Nino threw a slipper at him. “ – no,” he muttered mournfully but allowed Aiba’s arms to haul him upwards, this time letting himself draped against Aiba’s back when Aiba kneeled down, back facing him. “ – I hate you guys so much…” he added, wrapping both arms around Aiba’s neck as Aiba lifted him up.

Aiba chuckled and strut his way outside, grinning.

“ – we love you too, Nino-chan…”

#

Jun knew they were being such obnoxiously annoying friends for dragging Nino out here when it seemed like the slighter man only wanted to be left all alone. But Jun has had enough of that and quite honestly, the other two shared the same sentiment he had that was why the three of them came up with a plan into having this much needed vacation despite their still tight schedules. Arashi may not be as popular as they were a couple of years back, most specifically during those days when their leader was still alive but Jun was grateful to still be able to do what they loved best. Things may have calmed down for the group but as individual artists, they were still being sought after and Jun couldn’t have been more grateful. Arashi may not be complete without Ohno but somehow, they have managed to move on knowing that people still cheered them on whenever they were on stage, performing, although the feeling of being incomplete was still there up until now.

He let his eyes wander for a while, smiling softly at the scene before him with Aiba running after Nino, and the younger man screaming loudly as Aiba grabbed him by the waist and threw him back to the water. He was still pretty wet, being the first to get into the water, followed by Sho and Aiba, then Nino, after much convincing. He just got out preparing the food, laying out a mat they’ve specifically brought with them that day and smiling again when Nino screamed once more, louder this time and Jun realized that Sho and Aiba joined forces this time around as they both lifted Nino’s lithe body and started counting down, laughing before they threw him back into the waters.

And then something caught his peripheral vision that froze every nerve endings in his body and he gasped, blinking rapidly at the image of an awfully familiar frame graced his eyes. Without meaning to, he stood up and dropped the bag down the sand, unblinking as he stared ahead.

There, a few meters away from where his three other friends were, was someone who looked suspiciously like Ohno, with fishnet in hand and staring at his friends with a little smile stretched at the corners of his mouth.

Jun turned and was about to yell at him when the man saw him, eyebrows furrowing and before Jun was able to do anything else, he quickly threw himself into the water and swam away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ.

Torn between running after the man and worrying his friends by doing exactly what was on his mind, Jun stood frozen on his feet, unable to do anything other than to follow the stranger with his gaze as he swam away. The other three remained clueless to what just happened, laughing themselves off as Nino tried running away again out of Aiba and Sho’s hold while giggling like a child. Jun felt his knees buckled at the immediate loss of strength and gave way, slumping down the sand with a loud thud.

Did I just saw leader? he asked himself, baffled at the thought. He rubbed his eyes a few times, muttering something incoherent under his breath. If it was really him, then…

_God, then they were right… Ohno wasn’t dead; but, how… why?_

“What are you doing staring off in space like that? We’re hungry, princess!” Nino whined dramatically and Jun was immediately brought back to the present. Sho and Aiba both threw him a pair of questioning glances before Jun forced himself upright and grinned.

He smacked Nino lightly across the head, trying to hide the trembling of his fingers as he stood up. “ – brat. Get out of my way and be quiet or you’ll never get anything. So help me god but I’m really tempted to starve you to death right now…”

Nino pulled an eyelid at him. “ – as if you can,”

Jun grabbed him and put him in a headlock while he and Sho pretty much communicate silently. 

_Later,_ he mouthed; Sho and Aiba nodded reluctantly.

#

“What?!” Aiba and Sho exclaimed simultaneously and Jun almost, almost wasn’t able to stop his hands from slapping the two in the mouth. He cursed.

“ – would you please keep your voices down?” he muttered angrily, “ – Nino might come in any moment,”

“Are you sure it’s him?” Sho asked, clearly baffled and Jun nodded hesitantly, seemingly aware at the completely confused emotions passing through Sho and Aiba’s faces, slumping down and sighing heavily the minute his words finally sunk in.

“T-That’s not possible,” Aiba breathed, looking around just to make sure Nino wasn’t anywhere near them and shuddering at the thought the minute after. “ – J-Jun-chan, a-are you sure?”

Jun tightly closed his eyes as his fingers went up to massage his temple, his head throbbing as if it was about to split in half. “I’m not really, but~” he said, pausing when he heard Sho hissed under his breath, mouth twisting mournfully. He couldn’t really be sure but he just couldn’t shake that weird feeling off, as if in that split second that his and the strangers eyes met, he was sure he saw something glimmered at the corner of the stranger’s eyes, something like recognition or maybe, that was him hallucinating… he didn’t know anymore.

Sho crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. “ – you aren’t wearing your contacts earlier, Jun,” the older man said, staring straight into Jun’s eyes as he spoke. Indeed, but, “ – don’t you think that’s reason enough to forget all these? I don’t want to sound harsh but we all know that Satoshi’s dead… and there’s no way~”

“ – but we never found his body!” Aiba exclaimed in an expression all of them rarely seen on him, not after Ohno’s apparent death and Jun wanted to take his words back if only to lessen the pain of losing their leader all over again. But he couldn’t; not now, not after what he saw. “ – a-and it’s possible that he’s alive and just lost out there. Maybe it’s him, maybe Jun-chan was right…”

“ – Masaki,” Sho turned, running his fingers through his hair and Jun swore that Sho suddenly looked older than he was moments ago. “ – w-we can’t… y-you can’t think about that again, not after what we promised each other…”

“ – but Sho-chan~”

Sho shook his head firmly. “ – this conversation is over. I don’t want to talk about that anymore let alone dwell on that thought the same way we’ve done in the past. We finally found the courage to let him go Masaki and Nino… think about what this would do to him…”

Jun muttered a curse under his breath, knowing full well that Sho was right. Still, he saw what he saw and that clearly wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. The stranger looked exactly like Ohno and Jun was sure he could recognize their leader even in crowd of a thousand people, the same way his friends could do if it were them who saw the stranger and not him. 

The question was, was that really Ohno?

“ – then we should just check it out ourselves,” Aiba suggested as he continued looking around if ever Nino happened to pop out of thin air. “ – we don’t have to tell Nino-chan,”

Sho sighed, suddenly feeling exasperated. “ – that’s already out of the question, Masaki. It doesn’t matter if Nino knows, the thing is we’re not doing this, and that’s the end of it!”

Jun looked up at the stubborn scowl spread across Sho’s feature. No one could blame the older man for trying to do the right thing, not Aiba, and most especially not him. There were just so much Sho had to deal with right after Ohno’s apparent death and it wasn’t easy for either of them, it never was, but still the possibility of Ohno being alive has always been there since the beginning. 

Everybody only assumed that Ohno was dead, that was, after over two years of waiting for anything to turn up; may it be Ohno’s body or anything that will lead them to finally letting the older man rest, wherever he may be. Even Ohno’s parents had requested Johnny to stop financing the research team a month ago and that was also when the four of them decided it was probably high time they let Ohno go.

But what happened earlier made things a lot more complicated and Jun knew he couldn’t just let it go. He wasn’t going to just sit there and do nothing when he knew there was something to be done, especially after what he saw. 

“ – I agree with Aiba-chan,” he grumbled, looking straight into Sho’s eyes. If Sho was surprised at the suddenness of Jun’s statement, he did his best not to show it.

“ – Jun please,”

Jun shook his head in firm determination. “ – no, Sho-chan… I know we’ve agreed about this already but I saw what I saw… and I’m sure, I’m really sure that it was leader…”

“ – Jun, listen,”

“ – no, you listen!” Jun exclaimed, the rise on his voice evident. “ – unless we see leader’s dead body, this will never be over. I saw him there, Sho-chan… I know it was leader… and I don’t think we could just let this pass after knowing that somewhere out there, he must be alive and maybe ~”

“ – then what are you suggesting?” Sho said, cutting him off.

Jun squared his shoulders. “ – I want to find that stranger,”

“ – and if he’s not the one we’re looking for? Jun, you know it’ll hurt a thousand times more if we find out it’s not him. Think about the pain we’ll have to go through again…”

“ – I don’t care,” Jun stated stubbornly. “ – if it’s not leader, then I’ll never stop looking for him until we find him. That’s the least we can do for him, for Nino, for us…”

Sho nodded faintly as Aiba’s hands found their way against his own. Squeezing his hands tightly, Aiba leaned and rested his head against the older man’s shoulder.

“ – I really hope it was leader… I really hope he’s alive…” Aiba muttered.

“ – hope _who’s_ alive?” Nino asked from the doorway and the three froze on their seats.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ. Words in _Italics_ are flashback.

_“What time is it?” he mumbled sleepily and Nino just wanted to stay there and watch him; the way Ohno’s eyes fluttered against his cheeks, his skin smooth and tanned, blinking the sleepiness away as he curled and blindly reached to tug Nino closer. “ – it’s still dark, Kazu… let’s go back to sleep,” he said, voice still fogged and husky and Nino had to stop himself from wanting to taste it._

_Nino chuckled and brushed the strands of stubborn hair off the older man’s temple, leaning down to press a kiss against the corner of the older man’s mouth, his thumb resting at the crook of Ohno’s neck. Ohno’s response was to curl his arms around Nino’s body, keeping him close and dropping a kiss on top of Nino’s head._

_“I love you,” he whispered, barely able to resist the urge to drop himself on top of Ohno’s body and stay there for the rest of the day because he knew he can’t; work’s calling for him and he knew Ohno’s schedule for the day would be to spend his time burning himself to a crisp somewhere in Yokohama, that being his off day. Really, it pissed him off when Ohno decided to spend his time fishing rather than getting some badly needed rest but he knew that it was one thing Ohno enjoyed most and he wasn’t that cruel to take that away from the older man, even though sometimes he’s really tempted to do just that. “ – I love you, Ohchan,” he repeated, his voice just high enough to be heard and Ohno sighed, arms wounding around his neck._

_There were only those rare times he openly say it; those three little words that usually meant nothing more than just playful bits of jumbled letters when they were thrown around during interviews and concerts. But they’re there, on the very top of the many things he reserved just for Ohno and the older man knew just when the right time to say it back. Usually, words weren’t needed when they were together since they understood each other even without it but sometimes, just sometimes, Nino wanted to hear them all the same._

_“ – I love you too,” Ohno replied, lips finding Nino’s own and Nino giggled quietly when Ohno’s kiss landed against his chin. Nino lifted his face and their lips met halfway; Ohno kissed him the way only he knew how to do, making Nino’s knees tremble and his fingers itched to undress Ohno as fast as he could. But he knew he couldn’t; not when he’s needed somewhere in about an hour and because as much as he hated going to work with a stupid hard on, he also hated doing quickies. Ohno stretched and Nino’s fingers moved their way up to the shell of Ohno’s ears and scratched, just to hear the older man purr like an oversized cat. Nino let out a soft laugh, reaching up to steal another kiss because he couldn’t help it. “ – are you going now? Isn’t it still too early?” Ohno asked after they parted, mostly still against Nino’s lips._

_Nino chuckled again and pecked Ohno’s lips twice. “ – schedule’s changed. Hori-san mailed me last night to confirm the meeting for the new movie. We need to be there before five,”_

_“ – what time is it?” Ohno asked again, forcing his eyes open and holding Nino close. “ – do you want breakfast? I’ll go make something,” he said, pushing himself upwards and taking Nino with him, seemingly unperturbed that Nino looked rather silly, hanging onto Ohno like this just because the older man didn’t know how to let go when he have Nino in his arms, soft and vulnerable like a child._

_Nino chuckled and cupped Ohno lightly across the back of his head, choking back a cry and trying hard not to say anything because at that moment he realized he loved Ohno so, so much; like his heart’s going to burst with the intensity of these emotions, like everything about this was too much and too little all at the same time. Ohno’s hold tightened around him, tight but still loose enough not to choke him; keeping Nino close as if he was afraid Nino would disappear if he let go. Nino breathed in, trying to memorize the older man’s scent as if he hasn’t been doing that since forever, needing no words to convey how badly he wanted Ohno’s arms around him, right then, just because he knew Ohno understood; he always did and Nino’s grateful to be given this privilege to love, to experience every little thing with the older man ._

_Ohno tried getting up again and Nino whimpered, just as he smiled and pushed the older man back down, “ – no, I don’t want anything,” he mumbled, closing his eyes and plopping himself beside the older man, burying his face against Ohno’s chest. Ohno hummed his agreement and stayed quiet for a few minutes, his hands brushing tiny circles down the small of Nino’s back. “ – Ohchan,” he called softly, mostly just to check if Ohno’s still awake._

_“ – hmm?”_

_Nino smiled and propped himself on his elbow, inching in closer and reaching to brush Ohno’s cheek with the back of his hand. “ – will you be here when I come back?” he whispered, his voice hesitant and Ohno merely opened his eyes to give him a smile; that one smile that always made his heartbeat go crazy. Ohno realized it long before Nino did but Nino wouldn’t dare admit it even though he knew the older man was fully aware about it. Maybe it’s different for Ohno; maybe he didn’t feel exactly how it was like loving him was for Nino but for all it’s worth, Nino knew Ohno loved him; the depth of it he may never know, but Nino never once doubted Ohno’s feelings for him and he probably never would, the same way he trusted his feelings for Ohno and the way they always were when they were together._

_Loving him made everything seemed so easy, like he was born just to experience this; to meet Ohno and fall in love with him and the rest would just have to come in second place in Nino’s life._

_He could feel Ohno’s grin beneath his palm, could actually taste it without seeing it clearly and Ohno followed his hand with his lips, just enough to drive Nino insane. Without even meaning to, his action probably surprised Ohno as well, Nino leaned down and kissed Ohno passionately, shoving his tongue inside without much of a warning and exploring the crevices of Ohno’s mouth with abandon. He had to bite back a groan of frustration when one of Ohno’s hand went in front of his chest and pushed, forcing him to move back up, panting._

_“ – w-what?”_

_That look on Ohno’s face said it all but being the next biggest smug bastard that he was (next to Nino, of course), Nino knew the question’s just about lurking in the corner and it would only take a minute, two max before..._

_“ – what’s wrong, Nino?” Ohno asked very softly, just loud enough to be a whisper and Nino slapped a hand over his face in embarrassment._

_“ – nothing,” he replied, still trying to hide his face behind his hand while Ohno kept on tugging his hands away. “ – n-nothing, j-just,”_

_Another forceful tug and Nino gave up completely, reaching down to trace Ohno’s bottom lip with his thumb. He could feel his blood pounding hard in his ears as he traced the older man’s face with his fingers, memorizing each line and bumps and feeling Ohno’s soft exhalation of breath at every movement of his fingers. Then,“ – what’s with that question, Kazu? If you don’t want me to go fishing, which would be a lie if you say otherwise since I know how much you loath my choice of hobby, you can tell me now and I won’t go,”_

_It’s a strange question, he knew, but Nino felt like he wanted to know, wanted to hear Ohno say it, even if it meant he’d be teased about it the whole week; he wanted to make sure Ohno would be there when he went back home. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly felt like he missed Ohno so much, the feeling like he didn’t want to leave but couldn’t exactly pinpoint the reason why he was feeling that way._

_“ – I.. I j-just want to make sure you’ll be here when I come back,” he answered, closing his eyes and biting his tongue to stop him from further humiliating himself._

_A soft chuckle escaped Ohno’s lips and then Nino felt the older man’s hand traveled from the small of his back, up to the nape of his neck. There was that familiar shade of emotion written across Ohno’s eyes, glowing deep and rich even in the dark, which had been there since ages ago, that same look Ohno used to give him when he’s done being his usual snarky self and just about ready to act so disgustingly sappy._

_That look in Ohno’s eyes that Nino knew reserved for him, and only him._

_“ – why wouldn’t I be?” Ohno asked in a whisper, tugging Nino down until their faces were just a breath apart. “ – you’re being sweet again, not that I’m complaining, but this early?” he mumbled teasingly and flicked his tongue out to trace Nino’s bottom lip just as softly, almost a kiss but not quite. Nino let out a shaky laugh and bit Ohno’s chin._

_“ – just this once,” he answered, blushing; in the darkness of their bedroom, he knew that he was but at this point, he couldn’t find it in him to care anymore. He knew he’s being pushy and maybe even acting like a clingy and crazed, possessive girlfriend but he couldn’t help it. Ohno’s probably used to it by now, though he knew he wasn’t and would probably never will, but that’s just a thought; they both knew he had that disgustingly sappy spot inside him and Ohno just knew which buttons to press, enough to turn it on. “ – j-just this once Ohchan… promise me, promise me you’ll be here when I come back…” he pleaded, closing the distance between their lips and kissing Ohno with all his heart, moaning his response when Ohno hummed his questions and danced his fingertips against Nino’s collarbones._

_“ – I promise,” Ohno replied after a few heartbeats, kissing Nino slowly, just sweet, soft gracing of lips against lips. “ – I promise I’ll be here when you come back…” he said._

_Nino closed his eyes, enjoying the way Ohno’s breath hitched at the same time one of his hands moved down to grip at Ohno’s hips, arching his body when Ohno edged closer, moving flushed against him._

_“ – and if you’re not here when I came home?”_

_Ohno chuckled and kissed the tip of Nino’s nose. “ – just probably got held up by the fishes, but I’ll be back. You just gonna have to trust me, Kazu,”_

_Nino nodded in resignation, leaning down to rest his face against Ohno’s chest. “ – take care of yourself out there. I don’t want you coming home to me all black and toasted. The sunblock cream I snatched out from Jun’s beauty kit is still in the bathroom drawer; don’t forget to bring it with you.”_

_“ – I won’t, I promise,”_

_Nino leaned up for another kiss, one hand resting softly against Ohno’s cheek._

_“ – I love you, Satoshi,”_

_Ohno nodded and kissed him again, harder this time._

_“ – you too, Nino…”_

#

He bit back a sigh as he looked towards the horizon, the sun barely setting and the wind blowing cold air against the bare skin of his face. There was something in the way the other three exchanged glances, making him feel restless and uneasy. He knew he had walked in on them while they were having a conversation about something clearly wasn’t meant for him to hear and it freaked him out a little knowing that it probably had to do with Ohno… again.

The look of surprise was visible on his friend’s faces, especially when he came in asked and them about the only thing he heard the minute he stepped inside. He was sure Aiba looked fairly terrified and the other two shared the same look of pure surprise and hesitation but he wasn’t able to understand any of it when Aiba started babbling about some dog he gave his brother as a gift for his birthday. Apparently, that dog was hit by a car that morning and the taller man was surprised and sad at the same time.

“ – yeah,” Jun and Sho quickly agreed then, nodding their heads towards each other. “ – we hope he could make it, ne?” Jun added softly, not quite meeting Nino’s eyes. Nino just shrugged then and placed himself in between Jun and Aiba and took a bite of Jun’s left over apple.

He actually didn’t believe any of it but who was he to question his friends? If they didn’t want Nino to know anything with regards to the topic they were talking about, that’s their choice; Nino knew he shouldn’t expect them to share everything with him, the same way he usually kept things to himself that the others never tried forcing things out of his mouth just for the heck of it.

He sighed deeply, crossing his arms over his chest and tried tuning everything out. He could smell the salty scent of the sea and it somehow made him feel at ease, just sitting there alone. He chuckled when he remembered the many stories he heard about the sea, from Ohno of course, about how just the simple wave of water calmed him down and the rest would come in almost inaudible sort of mumbling as the older man proceeded on telling him stories about how he almost, almost caught a fish as big as Nino, only his rail wasn’t as strong as his determination.

He found himself laughing, giggling quietly at the memory of Ohno’s moronic adventures and dwelled at the fact that even though he never once saw him fish, Ohno always made it a point to tell him about everything he did that day, even when he wasn’t sure if Nino was even listening. That was another thing he loved about Ohno; the older man never tried forcing him to go with him fishing but still tried his best to make Nino feel never out of place and showed him that he was more important than everything else in his life combined.

Because my place is wherever you’ll be. I’ll follow you wherever you are, I will never leave, I will stay with you… even when you say you don’t want me to, I’ll still be there…

He let out a bitter laugh, feeling another wave of strong emotion hitting him from deep within. Out there, he could pretend he’s okay, that thinking about Ohno didn’t hurt as much as it hurt before; maybe that’s right, maybe he could start moving on now but he knew that one huge part of him will forever belong to Ohno, and to Ohno alone. That part of him that would remain forever like a gaping hole and a bitter reminder of the lost of the other half of his heart; his soulmate, his best friend, his Satoshi.

Taking one more deep breath, Nino stood up and smiled. He looked around one more time, enjoying the feel of the early dawn’s blowing wind and placing both his hands inside his jacket pocket. He turned around, hunching his shoulders and started walking away only to be stopped abruptly when his face collided with someone else’s chest and Nino almost stumbled backwards with a hiss.

“ – oh shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to… I w-wasn’t looking ~”

“ – oh, no, no.. it’s my fault, sir. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

A beat and Nino looked up to a pair of brown, almond-coloured eyes and a familiar face he would never, not even when he’s old and dying ever dare forget. The man smiled and something inside him broke and he gasped, trying to find something solid he could hold on to, something that was strong enough to keep him from falling apart.

Finally releasing the breathe he realized he was holding, Nino found himself crossing the distance, almost stumbling face first against the man.

_“ – S-Satoshi!”_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

“Are you sure we’re doing the right thing Jun? What if he’s not who we think he is? You know it’ll be hard, not only for us but for Satoshi’s family as well… and Nino, how in hell are we going to explain to him that ~”

Jun turned just as he closed his phone and exchanged a knowing glance with Aiba, placing a hand on top of Sho’s right shoulder and effectively shutting the older man up at the determination he saw on Jun’s eyes. “ – I don’t see anything wrong with it, Sho-chan,” Jun answered, “ – we’ve done uglier things than this in the past, not that this is the same as those because it’s not, for crissake! We’re doing this just to make sure whether our hunches are correct and if not, then at least we wouldn’t regret not doing anything at all to know the truth. We owe leader this much, Sho-chan…” Jun said without pausing and Sho nodded resignedly. 

“ – I just want to make sure you’re prepared, you know, because we don’t know what to expect out of this thing,” Sho grumbled and Jun had to nod his agreement knowing that there wasn’t much they could do about it now besides waiting. The rest of them had somehow perfected that one a long time ago so it wasn’t going to be a problem; waiting’s just one thing they had to do for now.

Sho had pretty much showed his dislike about the whole affair but Jun was nothing but stubborn and the older man wasn’t that strong enough to contradict the youngest when Jun had already made up his mind about doing something, even if it meant going through the same painful experience if only to satisfy their curiosity and Jun’s seemingly unbreakable belief about that mysterious stranger and the stranger’s strong resemblance to their dead leader.

“Are they going to send us the result anytime sooner?” Aiba asked from where he was leaning against the wall, arms crossed tightly over his chest. Jun shot him a look and nodded, giving the expression that he’s pretty much got everything under control and Aiba nodded back, his eyes bright and focused. “ – I want to know the reason behind all these,” Aiba mumbled after a long moment, taking the attention of the other two back onto him. “ – if that’s leader, let’s make sure to take him back. If that’s not him~”

Sho cleared his throat and Aiba paused. “ – we still couldn’t tell at this point, Masaki,” he said, “ – let’s keep our fingers crossed but let’s not keep our hopes high. We’ll never know until we have the reports in front of us, but until we meet this man, we wouldn’t know.”

Jun’s phone beeped and their focus shifted immediately on the device as Jun held it up, grinning. The bastard sure was fast, if the huge smile on Jun’s face was of any indication. Sho felt a shiver run up his spine, realizing that he was shaking to the core the minute he lifted his hand and ran his fingers through his hair.

“ – are you ready?” Jun asked, voice shaking slightly and Sho couldn’t stop the grin forming on his lips.

Sho and Aiba nodded simultaneously. 

“ – that better be it or I’m suing your contact, Jun-kun…” Sho muttered. Aiba chuckled and straightened up, anticipation evident on their faces.

Jun smirked and pressed a button. “ – we will soon find out, Sakurai-san… be patient,” the youngest said. 

Aiba smiled. “ – bring it on.”

 

#

“Satoshi?!”

To say that he was shocked was definitely an understatement.

He was sure his heart stopped beating for a good few seconds as he stared straight into the man’s eyes, his grip tightening against the man’s forearms while his brain’s pretty much trying to restart on its own. The man looked fairly confused, wincing visibly and shifting a little, as if he was quietly telling Nino to let go but Nino’s brain was too clogged up to even care. 

“Ohmygod,” Nino muttered under his breath, clearly not thinking at all and letting his emotion take over as he slammed himself against the other man, burying his face against the man’s bare shoulder. The man stilled for a moment, probably allowing Nino to regain his bearings and just stood there, not quite moving and just letting Nino as Nino tightened his arms around him. “ – ohgod, where have you been? We looked everywhere for you, Satoshi, ohgod! I can’t believe this, I don’t… oh my god! Everyone thought you’re dead! Ohgod, ohgod!” Nino muttered almost incoherently, his arms now tightly curled around the other man’s neck.

“E-Excuse me sir,” the man whispered, hesitantly peeling Nino’s arms off him, stepping back a little to at least retrieve his personal space and bowed, giving Nino enough time to clear his thoughts. 

“ – sir?” Nino asked stupidly, completely unaware at the obvious confused look the other man was giving him, blinded by the fact that he was standing in front of Ohno, his Satoshi, whom everyone thought was dead, including him. His Ohchan called him ‘sir’ and if that didn’t score the highest in his personal “Ohno-is-stupid-but-I-don’t-care scale”, then he don’t know what would but that thought would just have to wait because fuck, he’d been dreaming of this moment for years and he’s not about to let it pass even if Ohno decided to play a fucking joke on him. He was about to make a dash towards the other man again when the man bowed low, stopping Nino dead on his feet. Nino was given exactly a few seconds to gape before the man whispered something under his breath that froze every nerve ending in his body, leaving him numb for a long moment.

“ – I.. I’m sorry sir. I t-think you’re mistaken me for someone else,” he mumbled just as softly, giving Nino a hesitant smile and crouching down to retrieve his things that he must have dropped when they collided against each other. Nino stood frozen and just opted on watching the other man intently, too many questions slamming their way inside his head all at the same time. 

What the fuck is going on?

“ – w-what? What the fuck are you talking about?” he managed to utter despite the dizzying haze of having Ohno just in front of him, after years of wondering and waiting; after all these time, “ – S-Satoshi, stop screwing around. It’s me, don’t tell me you ~” he growled, pausing in time to see the man looked up at him, brows furrowing in confusion as his hands moved to grab something that looked suspiciously like a covered plastic bowl filled with squirming worms. The man looked down and mumbled his apologies to the poor creatures and Nino tried stopping himself from kicking the man hard on the face.

“ – I’m really sorry sir, but my name is Hiro,” the man mumbled, pouting a little and Nino was again rendered speechless, gaping at the familiar gesture the man just did. Surely, the only one who possessed those unique little facial expressions was his Satoshi and not even him, who was actually been with the older man almost half of his life could imitate those gestures perfectly, but this man was saying he wasn’t Ohno and….

Wait, Nino muttered silently and pinched himself, ouch! That definitely hurt, so scratch the maybe-he-was-dreaming part as he glared at the man still on his knees and currently on the process of retrieving his things. Nino clawed his fingers, not knowing exactly what to do when the man looked up at him again.

Whatever the hell Ohno was up to, Nino was sure he wasn’t going to let it pass because as much as he wanted to throw himself against the older man right now, the urge to punch him till his blue and maybe pushed him and shove his face on the ground was also too strong that he needed to breath in deeply to calm himself down

Smiling, the man continued with, “ - Matsuda Hiro. I live just a few meters away from here, I’m just used to coming here to fish when the weather’s nice.” the man replied, looking up at Nino as if he was talking to a child, his voice sounded like he was contemplating between running off and patting Nino on the head.

Nino paused for a little while, feeling a tremor run up his spine and the sudden urge to scream out loud when the man ducked low again, mumbling to himself. Nino could feel that growing anger, bubbling dangerously hot in his chest at the particular gesture because he was sure that this was Ohno and he didn’t know what the man was up to, denying himself in front of Nino and acting as if he didn’t know Nino at all.

“ – oh yes, I remember you!” stupid Ohno muttered, eyes lighting up and Nino frowned. “ – I saw you and your friends yesterday at the beach! There were four of you, right? That’s why you looked familiar, yeah, yeah… that’s it, that’s just it,” he mumbled afterwards, mostly to himself and Nino felt every fiber of his being screamed in anger.

Ignoring the warning bells ringing loudly through his ears, Nino crouched down in front of the other man, hands dropping on top of the other man’s shoulders and pulled him up with a little too much force than necessary. The man looked terribly shocked to even say anything and Nino couldn’t care less; he’s far too gone to even give a damn.

With a low growl escaping the back of his throat, Nino pulled the other man and crashed their mouths together, the other man’s whimpers dissolving right against the tips of Nino’s tongue.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

“Name is Matsuda Hiro, thirty one years old; born in Hiroshima but his family moved to Okinawa the year after he turned five. He has an older brother and sister, both married and both are now staying in Tokyo with their families while his parents still lives in Okinawa and according to my contact, they are running a ramen shop business.” Jun read the report out loud, not missing a beat and raised his face when Sho cleared his throat noisily.

“So his name isn’t Ohno Satoshi? Why am I not even surprised?” Sho muttered in a mocking tone while trying to keep a straight face. Jun chuckled and shifted his gaze onto Aiba, who was pretty much still and quiet and was obviously keeping his thoughts to himself. “ – see, this is what I’ve been worried about and I’ve already warned you both about this. Are you waiting for me to say ‘I told you so’ because I will,” Sho added with a grimace and Jun had to literally remind himself that this was their group’s very own mother and that the older man’s reaction was as natural as his instinct for mothering, stopping himself before he could even think of throwing his phone right at Sho’s face.

“ – don’t be such a poop face Sho-chan and let me finish first, will you?” Jun grumbled, rolling his eyes and lifting his phone, squinting as his fingers moved and scrolled down the contents of his contact’s mail. “ – my contact said he tried going back to every single details he could dig about this Hiro, from the time his family left for Okinawa until he settled himself here but there is just something he couldn’t exactly understand,” Jun paused, reading the mail again and furrowing his brows as he did so. 

“ – what, what?” Sho asked impatiently from his place in the corner while Jun was silently mumbling something to himself, his phone just a few inches away from his face. With a still pretty much confused expression, he shook his head and looked up, meeting Sho and Aiba’s equally confused gazes.

“ – he said it’s better if we meet with him tonight so he can show us the printed documents along with the reports he was telling me about,” 

Sho looked entirely disappointed and Jun couldn’t really blame him, simply because he was feeling the same level of disappointment, only he was trying to be subtle about it. He knew that though they never say it out loud, they were expecting something more than what his contact had sent him; but what exactly they were expecting, that he didn’t have the slightest idea. 

Honestly, the report should have been enough to put this madness to rest but Jun couldn’t exactly pinpoint why a part of him just wouldn’t accept the validity of the details he’d read just moments ago. Plus, there was something in the way his contact phrased his words that actually left him confused, as if there was something really important the man purposely omitted but still made it a point to actually dropped a little hint somewhere in between, if only to make him feel more confused than he already was. 

“ – can’t he, I don’t know, just send us copies of those documents so we can see them now?” Sho asked again, now pacing the floor agitatedly; Jun wondered idly what would be Nino’s reaction if ever the slighter man was with them this time or if he was even going to allow this, knowing that they were actually the ones who came up with the idea of accepting Ohno’s death and forcing Nino to do exactly that.

Quite frankly, Jun didn’t know how he could make things easier, especially now that even he himself didn’t know where he stood; as he was torn between wanting to believe in something he deemed impossible and wanting to just turn around and forcing himself to believe the fact that what they were trying to uncover was nothing but mere foolishness.

The thing was, Jun knew himself enough for him to keep moving forward, because as much as he hated losing, he also hated not being able to put his mind to rest. And to put it simply, this was just one of those rare times he actually chastised himself for being the control freak he’s always been teased about. 

Jun returned his gaze onto Sho and shook his head. “ – I already asked him that but he said no; he said the papers are important and we won’t probably understand most of it without the reports he was talking about. Also, he said this particular case is a little complicated and that he wants to talk with us personally for him to be able to point out the details he wasn’t able to include in the mail. We need to be patient, Sho-chan…”

“ – this is getting ridiculous every damn minute,” Sho muttered, “ – and I don’t know why it suddenly feels like we’re missing something… like, I don’t know, I can’t even describe it. Damn, am I even making sense?” he said, mostly to himself and Jun couldn’t help but nod his head in agreement.

“ – I know what you mean, Sho-chan…” he said, “ – there’s something about that stranger and I’m sure that’s the reason why you’re feeling that way now. I felt it too and I know it sounds creepy but~”

“That Hiro guy and leader is the same person,” Aiba muttered for the first time, startling Sho and Jun out of their wits as Aiba straightened up and stared straight into their eyes. “ – we need to go and meet this guy to be sure. I think it’s better if we call Nino-chan and ~” he stopped mid-way when Jun’s phone blared to life the second time that day with Jun almost dropping the device down the floor in surprise.

“ – is it your contact again?” Sho asked, anticipation evident in his voice.

Jun shook his head and flipped his phone open, pressed the received key and slapped the phone against his left ear. 

“ – hello Kazu? Do you want me to pick you up now? No, we’re not; we were just buying dinner, you requested hamburger steak and ~ what?! Where are you? Please tell me you’re~ fuck! Okay, okay… We’ll be there in ten minutes, stay put and don’t do anything stupid. No, Nino, stay there and we’re coming to get you. Bye.”

“ – what happened?” Aiba and Sho asked at the same time as Jun grabbed the keys from the bed and went straight to the door, the other two following closely. For a moment there, Sho thought there was nothing that may ever surprise him, not after everything and especially not after knowing about the existence of a certain someone who’s probably a dead ringer of their precious leader, but then it all changed when Jun turned, stopping for a while just to say,

“ – Nino said he found Leader and he’s with him right now…”

“ – what?!”

“ – guess that takes the ‘how the fuck are we supposed to tell Nino’ out of the equation, right?” Jun muttered under his breath and turned around again, doubling his steps with his heart beating hard against his chest.

 

#

He spent the next few minutes following the man around with keen eyes, every single movement the man made struck one more nerve deep inside him and the familiarity of those movements were making him dizzy but he couldn’t find the courage to actually ask the man again in fear of further making a fool out of himself. The man on the other hand seemed to give up fully, right after the first three tries of discreetly shoving him away and Nino was glad, at the very least, to be allowed the little pleasure (or torture?) of observing the man despite that throbbing pain in his chest.

A crooked smiled made its way to his lips and he winced, his left hand moving absently to trace the corners of his mouth while he caught a glimpse of the man staring at him intently on the other side of the room. Nino wanted to look away, down or just shift his gaze somewhere, anywhere, except the man’s eyes because he could feel his knees weakening and he couldn’t stand it. There was something written across the man’s eyes that made Nino questioned his sanity but it was gone before Nino could even begin to wonder what it was.

“Can I offer you anything?” the man asked rather politely from where he was still standing and Nino felt more than a little crazy, discovering that the man’s voice not only resembled that of Ohno but actually sounded literally like him. “ – I only have a few bottles of beer and ~” he said, pausing when Nino stood up and shook his head.

“J-Just water is fine,” he managed to say through the awful mess that was practically clouding his brain and the man quickly nodded his head, turning around to the direction of what probably was the kitchen and Nino released a deep breath at the same time.

The man then came back with bottled water, smiling sheepishly as he handed it to Nino and Nino accepted it with trembling fingers. “ – if you’re hungry, I can try and make something, though I’m pretty sure it’ll be~”

“ – no, no, it’s fine…” he grumbled, feeling his cheeks warmed up at that unexpected concern, ducking down as he opened the bottle and drank it without looking up. “ – I am really very sorry for troubling you but~”

“ – i-it’s fine, don’t worry about it. And please stop apologizing; I should be the one doing that instead. Should I, well, go get something to treat that~”

“Nino!” someone shouted from outside the door, following it with a few pounding of fists and Nino stood up hesitantly, the look on his face surely betraying him. The man stared at him for a moment and Nino bowed his head in shame, words of apologies rolling out his lips the moment after.

“ – sorry, t-those are my friends,” he mumbled and straightened up, surprised that the man was already walking towards the door with an unreadable expression on his face. “ – I d-didn’t mean to bother you like this b-but~”

The man turned just before he wrapped his hand around the door’s knob and smiled at Nino in a way that almost made him want to drop everything and just take the man into his arms without any intention of letting him go, now and forever more.

The problem was, the man surely didn’t want that and the evidence of it was probably more visible now than it was minutes ago.

“ – it’s okay,” he said, smiling shyly. “ – I guess they’re here to pick you up?” he added and Nino found himself nodding at the same time the other man turned to open the door, still with a little smile hanging at the corners of his lips.

“ – Nino!” Jun shouted just as the door opened, his right hand suspended in mid-air and probably caught in the middle of pounding his fist against the man’s poor door and looking a lot like he had just seen a ghost with the way he stood there, still and pale as he stared at the man in front of him. “ – I.. m-my f-friend i-is ~” Jun stuttered and if not for the fact that the reaction was pretty much a valid one, Nino might have already been in the process of plotting the best way to humiliate Jun and not even the younger man’s threat to starve him to death would be enough to stop him but because the situation called for it, Nino stayed put and forced himself not to think of anything besides the desire to run towards them.

“HOLY. SHIT,” Sho muttered from behind Jun and the expression on the older man’s face mirrored what was already written across Jun’s own, only a bit more prominent since it was actually his first time to have seen Ohno’s look-alike. It wasn’t Jun’s first but he’s still pretty much shaken up, because the huge resemblance was entirely visible seeing the man up-close like this. He turned abruptly when he felt Aiba’s cold hands on his elbows, hissing something unintelligible under his breath as he tugged Aiba’s trembling body firmly against his. “ – S-Satoshi?”

The man smiled hesitantly before shaking his head, opening the door a bit wider and stepping back to give the other three men the permission to come inside by motioning his hand. Sho and Jun still looked fairly shocked to comprehend anything and the man simply bowed his head.

“ – my name is~”

“ – his name is Hiro,” Nino muttered from where he was, taking the words completely out from the man’s mouth and the sting pretty much got to him faster than it did before, wincing to himself as the other three’s gazes immediately shifted on him. 

The next thing he knew was Jun shoving his way inside without a single word and Nino then found the younger man already standing in front of him, completely bypassing any proper form of request to be invited inside, his eyes narrowing at the same time his right hand went to Nino’s face and tipped Nino’s chin up with a roughly uttered curse.

“ – what the fuck is that? Who the hell did that to you?!” Jun questioned, eyes squinting in a way so dangerous that made Nino shiver as Jun grazed a gentle thumb against the bruise at the corners of Nino’s mouth. 

“ – no, Jun,” he tried, pulling away from the younger man’s grip but Jun was obviously stronger, plus the fact that he’s actually a lot angrier for Nino to push through with his attempt of asking Jun to back off and just leave him be. “ – t-this.. t-this is nothing, okay? I j-just, w-well,”

Jun’s lips thinned and his brows knitted in a way that made Nino want to cringe because facing a pissed Jun was even scarier than facing a hundred fangirls chasing him out in the streets. “ – you’ve got a freaking black and blue bruise showing up on your face and you’re saying it’s nothing?! Who the fuck did this to you! Tell me and I swear to god, I’m going to make him regret~”

“ – it’s my fault,” Ohno’s look-alike stated from the door, stopping Jun in the middle of his threat and bowing his head until his face almost reached the floor. “ – I.. I’m r-really sorry, b-but~”

Sho and Aiba were pretty much glued on their feet, their gazes moving between Ohno’s look-alike and their two other band mates. 

“ – ‘ the hell?!” Jun gritted, putting his hand down and already in the position to probably claw the other man’s eyes out. Nino quickly moved and put himself in between, hands held in front of Jun.

“ – no, it wasn’t his fault!” Nino muttered, looking down and away, trembling. And with a shaking voice, “ – it’s my fault because I kissed him! He punched me in the face because I kissed him, okay?! So, please… just please, Jun, please~”

Jun gasped in a sharp breath, his words probably caught in his throat as he stumbled forward with a grunt before grabbing Nino into his arms, cradling Nino in the safety of his embrace as Nino gave up fully and sobbed quietly, clutching his fingers against the fabric of Jun’s shirt.

Few steps away from them, the stranger struggled on his feet and leaned heavily against the wall, hands moved to clutch at his own chest while he stared straight at the scene in front of him with a confused and pained expression on his face.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

The silence filling the next few moments was deafening and Nino couldn't help but be reminded about the past as he let his eyes wander for a few minutes. The questions were obviously written all over his band mate’s faces but no one had the guts to really ask something out loud in fear of actually making the situation all the more awkward than it already was. Ohno’s look-alike, the man who claimed his name was Hiro, just came back from the kitchen to serve each of them a bottle of beer, was now standing in the middle of his living room and staring at them with a confused and sheepish look on his face.

When Hiro’s eyes landed on Nino’s, Nino looked down and forced out a badly needed dramatic sigh, rolling his eyes at the same time he grumbled,

“Yo, ladies!” he started, his high-pitched voice reverberating at every corners of the house and he grinned at the other three’s reactions before he could even stop himself, “ – didn’t your mothers taught you that staring is rude? Come on, you’re all being such an embarrassment here and if you’re not careful, Oh~ H-Hiro-san might probably be forced to call Friday and tell them about Arashi being a group of gorgeous but creepy people,” he muttered with a smile, grinning widely when Hiro’s awkward stance softened visibly as he cracked a smile and shook his head back at Nino.

Sho grabbed his bottle then, wiping the moisture around it and brought it to his lips. He took a swig at it, at the same time he nodded at the other two and Jun and Aiba followed the older man’s example by reaching over and taking their bottles as well without saying a word. Nino, on the other hand, rolled his eyes and leaned back with his arms crossed over his chest.

“ – please forgive my friends, Hiro-san,” Nino followed, still grinning and immediately ducking when Jun aimed a bottle cap at him, “ – they tend to act like uncivilized bunch of creeps when they’re in the company of new friends,” he added, emphasizing the word ‘friend’ and smiling a bit more when Hiro chuckled, his button nose crinkling adorably and Nino found himself gasping for breath at that one more painful similarity. “ – maybe that’s why they aren’t allowed to go out without me, coz you know, I’m the only one who can~” he paused, just in time to dodge a flying slipper and grinning when his youngest friend huffed out a sound of annoyance.

“It’s fine,” Hiro replied with another wave of his hand, “ – but I would very much appreciate it if any of you could tell me why your reactions are like that when you first saw me,” he said, lowering his voice as if he was afraid he would say something inappropriate, something forbidden, and Nino immediately felt that overwhelming urge to stand up and wrap the man in his arms if only to protect him from himself, from them.

Of course, that was probably the silliest thing he would ever imagined doing since this man didn’t exactly need any of that; he wasn’t Ohno Satoshi and that’s something Nino knew he should just get used to if he didn’t want his face to show up in the next day’s newspaper while the whole of Japan fuzzed over his alleged ‘delusional tendencies’ by actually claiming this stranger as their long-been-dead leader.

“I-It’s actually a very long story,” Jun managed to mumble through all of the messy and somewhat ridiculous events that took place before them, saying the words while staring right into the man’s eyes and silently wishing for them to wake up before these all get so terrifyingly unbearable. 

Nino felt rather than heard the tenderness in Jun’s voice and he couldn’t help but wished for everything to just stop being so painful because he could feel that throbbing beat deep inside his chest again; that look on the man’s face told them he didn’t know exactly what was happening along with a look that said he wouldn’t understand unless they tell him what the hell was wrong with them.

“ – it’s still early,” Hiro said with a smile and something inside him literally snapped, seeing that another awfully familiar smile stretching across the man’s face and he choked, biting down on his lips to muffle the sounds. “ – and you still haven’t finished your beers so~” he added convincingly and Nino just wanted everything to stop.

Eyes still focused on Jun, the man tilted his head and smiled knowingly; as if he was aware that Jun, or any of them for that matter wouldn’t find the strength to resist him and fuck it because Nino knew that they couldn’t, not now, and probably not ever.

“ – y-you sure you wanna hear it?” Nino asked, finally, breathing the words out and wincing. “ – you won’t probably be able to understand most of it and I’m sure~”

“ – I probably won’t but I guess it’s just right, considering the fact that you guys look at me as if you know me and you kissed me as if ~” Hiro said, pausing when Nino hissed a curse and looked away, his face turning scarlet.

“L-Let me,” Sho muttered helpfully and for once, Nino was glad to have his friend’s company to at least take the damn responsibility off his shoulder. “ – but please promise us that everything we’re about to tell you won’t leave this room and that ~”

Hiro nodded repeatedly, looking a little sheepish and immediately stopping Sho half-way. “ – I can keep secrets,” he said. “ – but it’s still up to you, you know…” he added, shrugging. Sho heaved out a sigh and nodded back. 

“ – well, actually… you see~”

“Why are you doing this, Leader?” Aiba retorted in his seat, his voice filled with silent accusation. Hiro turned, gaping at the taller man as Aiba stood up, Sho quickly following and wrapping his arms around Aiba’s waist before Aiba was even able to take a step forward. “ – you’re our leader! Why the hell are you doing this, huh? Why?!”

“ – Masaki, that’s enough!”

“ – no!” Aiba shouted, jabbing a shaky finger towards Hiro and the man looked visibly pained and confused. “ – he’s leader, isn’t he? You guys can see it too! I don’t know what’s wrong with him, I don’t know what the fuck he’s up to but this has to stop now or else~”

A slap in the face stopped Aiba from further saying anything and for once, Nino kind of regretted calling his friends out here because this simply wasn’t what he expected. Well, he didn’t know what it was he was expecting exactly but this clearly wasn’t one of those. 

“ – Jun, what the hell?!” Sho cursed, putting himself in between Jun and Aiba as the taller man simply stood there, shaking as his hand went up to his face. Eyes filled with silent tears, he looked into Jun in quiet disbelief.

“ – I said that’s enough!” Jun shouted, “ – if you can’t keep your mouth shut, we better go now. This… he’s, fuck, let’s just go.” Jun muttered under his breath, turning to face Hiro, who was then obviously too shocked to even form a coherent reply. “ – I’m really sorry, Matsuda-san, I guess we better go…”

“ – b-but,”

Nino then stood up and gently placed a hand over Aiba’s shoulder. Sho nodded and bowed slightly before firmly wrapping his arms around Aiba’s body and slowly dragged the taller man towards the door. Nino then turned to Hiro and bowed as well, murmuring another apology under his breath. 

“ – sorry again for the trouble, Hiro-san… maybe I’ll just come back some other time to personally tell you about all these,” he said.

Hiro nodded, smiling a little. “ – that’s okay, I guess. But you should probably do that after two days,” he said thoughtfully, as if he had just remembered something.

“ – oh,” Nino exclaimed, turning back at the same time to face the man. “ – do you mind if I ask why?”

“ – uh well, I’ll be leaving for Okinawa tomorrow morning,” Hiro explained, motioning his hand towards the door when Jun called after him. Nino nodded and started walking slowly forward, with the man walking quietly beside him. 

“ – oh, is that so?” he managed to say, though he was actually trying to stop himself from asking anymore questions, in fear of sounding like an inquiring wife.

“ – yeah. I’m going there to visit my parents,” he said with a smile at exactly the same time they reached the door. “ – and also to pick up my wife and son,” he added in a happy voice that made Nino’s vision blur. 

“ – y-you have a wife?” he asked, feeling rather stupid afterwards. 

Hiro nodded, beaming. “ – yes, and a son. Why, you don’t?” he added, obviously teasing. 

Nino couldn’t exactly find the strength to smile back. He instead lowered his gaze and murmured, “ – no. So, you’ll be gone to… “ he paused, a prick in his heart made everything seemed too hard to dwell upon, “ - w-well, b-but you’ll be here after two days, right?” he managed to stutter despite that throbbing pain in his chest. The man nodded and offered his hand, which Nino half-heartedly received and they shook hands.

“ – I guess so, yeah. Oh, but you guys~”

“ – don’t worry, I’ll definitely be here when you come back,” Nino said, almost choking when he realized what he just said. The man, on the other hand, just smiled and nodded. 

“ – I’ll take your word for that, Ninomiya-san…”

#

“You hired someone to snoop around the man’s personal life?!” Nino bit out angrily, ignoring the fact that they were actually seated in a not-so-empty restaurant just a few meters away from their rented cottage and finally finding the time to sit around and discussed the earlier event that left the four of them badly shaken, even without any of them admitting the fact out loud.

“I hired someone to snoop around the man’s personal life, yes, you heard that one right,” Jun replied, repeating Nino’s words and Nino scowled despite himself, aiming another glare towards the balding, short man opposite him, seated in between Jun and Sho. The man swallowed but didn’t even balked despite Nino’s obvious distaste of having him there and instead made a chuckling sound from the back of his throat at the same time he moved to open the file folder he placed in front of him and smiled inwardly. 

Nino bit back a snort, still glaring. Honestly, he didn’t approve this idea of doing a background check about Hiro Matsuda, simply because he thought it was rude. Though a part of him was actually rejoicing quietly about it, he couldn’t find the courage to fully accept it just because he knew he was afraid of finding out things about the man that would surely cement the possibility of him being the person they wanted to believe that he was.

And also because as much as he loved Jun’s capability in coming up with such brilliant ideas, he couldn’t deny the fact that Jun’s fondness for the dramatics was something worth mentioning about.

Huffing out an annoyed sort of snort, he mumbled, “ – as much as I love the general idea of finding the truth, if there’s actually any, about that man, could you ladies please enlighten me with the benefits we could get by involving an outsider to solve our little problem?” Nino mocked, with the barest hint of gratefulness that made Jun roll his eyes in obvious amusement.

Sho tried biting back a snort at the same time Jun reached over to flick at Nino’s ears and Nino grimaced, feeling entirely betrayed but wasn’t able to do much besides scowl a little bit more before finding himself being wrapped tightly around by Aiba’s long arms.

“ – for once Nino, could you please just shut your mouth up and allow us the simple pleasure of doing this our way? You’re not helping at all, with all of your whining and general bitchery so please, just shut the hell up? Yes, okay? Good.” Jun muttered beautifully before facing the man beside him, completely ignoring the fact that Aiba had just slapped one hand over Nino’s mouth and the younger man was pretty much trying to decapitate him by gaze alone. “ – tell me if he’s biting, Masaki and we’ll drag his ass back to the cottage and we’ll tie him there,” Jun cautioned, immediately rendering Nino quiet.

“Quit being a brat, Kazu,” Aiba whispered through Nino’ hair, his voice was soft and teasing. “ – you know it’s that time of the month again. We all know he’s like that everytime, especially when I forgot to buy him his feminine napkins…” Aiba added in a conspiratorial voice.

Mentally noting never to piss Jun when he have his period, Nino grinned stupidly to himself and leaned heavily against Aiba’s chest, preparing himself to just listen quietly. After a while, Aiba removed his hand and moved to accommodate Nino comfortably, shifting to rest his chin on top of Nino’s head.

“ – so, about those documents you were telling us about,” Jun started, eyeing the file folder which the balding man opened, “ – care to elaborate, Gori-san?”

The man nodded, a silly smile hanging at the corners of his mouth that made Nino shiver despite his obvious distaste about the whole affair. Aiba felt it even though he tried to be subtle about it and moved to tug him closer, patting Nino’s stomach as if telling him that everything’s okay. Nino sighed deeply and resigned himself to simply listening. 

“ – these are the copies of the reports my people had gathered about Matsuda Hiro,” the man started, pulling out the pages one by one and handing each, first to Jun then Jun passing it to Sho and so on. “ – his birth certificate, his records in school…”

“ – are those even necessary?” Nino managed to ask before anyone was able to stop him.

“ – Ninomiya, will you please~”

“ – fine, fine…” Nino grinned, shutting his mouth closed and receiving a light smack at the back of his head for it. Jun threw him the middle finger and Nino stuck his tongue out at him just to annoy him. 

“ – sorry, what was it again?” Jun asked, giving Nino one last warning glance. 

“ – the documents we gathered,” Gori-san continued, “ – about Matsuda-san are properly stamped and valid so I can assure you that all of those are clear copies from the originals. But first, I would like to confirm the reason why you asked me to do a background check about this man, because you know, I cannot actually give out the rest of the information if I don’t know why exactly you need them,”

Nino raised an eyebrow and shifted his gaze over at Jun. Jun shrugged and exchanged glances with Sho, with which the older man answered with a nod of his head.

“ – wait, wait… you mean,” Nino interrupted, pointing his fingers at Jun, “ – you asked this old man to check on Hiro-san without telling him exactly why? Man, you’re really good at surprising me…” he mocked. Jun rolled his eyes again and crossed his arms tightly over his chest.

“ – shut up, Ninomiya…” Jun grumbled, then he turned to face the older man properly. “ – why not? I don’t see anything wrong with not providing my reason, besides, I’m going to pay you for every piece of information you could give me so I don’t see any reason for me to tell you why I want those…”

“ – as much as I want to help you, I’m sorry, but I cannot give you more than what I already have if you insist on not telling me why. And I don’t care about the money, Matsumoto-san; I’m sure you know that you’re not the only client I have…” Gori-san replied defiantly, a hint of smugness on that quiet voice.

“ – we just want to confirm if that man is really who he claimed he is and not the friend whom we thought died in a boat accident two years ago…” Sho answered this time, ignoring Jun’s dramatic sigh and Nino’s muffled cursing. “ – please, if you could help us uncover the truth, you’ll be compensated enough to ~

Gori-san pulled out the remaining pages on his folder, immediately cutting Sho’s words off. “ – very well,” he said, smiling softly at them. “ – you’re talking about Ohno Satoshi, right?” he asked in a gentle tone that made Nino gasped out loud. “ – I know, you don’t have to tell me. I’ve been working on his case for two years now; his father is a good friend of mine and he asked me to stop looking for his son exactly two months ago… and now, you boys gave me this…” he added, a genuine smile appearing on his face for the first time since the five of them sat down together that night. 

“ – p-please tell us what you know… if this man is Satoshi, if he’s not, if…” Nino said, voice trailing at the last syllable as bubbles of hope made its way up his throat and making it harder for him to form any sensible thoughts besides the ones he deemed necessary.

“ – according to the records we’ve gathered, he is who he claimed he is…” Gori-san stated and Nino’s hopes suddenly went downhill, gasping as he struggled to keep himself from sobbing out loud. “ – but, as I told Matsumoto-san earlier, something strange came up that also made me want to check the man out myself, just to make sure I was heading into the right direction…”

“ – what do you mean by strange, exactly?” Sho asked tightly. 

The older man took out three pages of what seemed like copies of medical records, handing them over to Sho, while the others waited for their turn to take a glimpse of it. “ – my people went as far as checking Matsuda-san’s medical records and those came up,” he said, a little touch of smugness was clearly evident on his voice.

Sho, who finished checking the first two pages, then passed them to Jun wordlessly. “ – what the hell does these mean?” Jun asked, confused.

There, in their hands, are copies of what Gori-san was talking about, crystal clear and yet, because they didn’t know what to make of it, was actually a little confusing. Jun raised his face, throwing the older man a questioning gaze.

“ – this is dated a few months before Leader’s accident,” Jun said, brows furrowing. 

The older man nodded. “ – according to those records, Matsuda-san was admitted to Tokyo General Hospital, three months before he and his family claimed to have moved to settle permanently here. He was treated for second degree burns, suffering mostly the upper part of his body including his face.”

“ – b-but, t-that’s…”

“ – that doesn’t make any sense!” 

The older man nodded in agreement, pulling another sheet of paper and placing it down the center of the table and pointing.

“ – one more thing,” he said, ignoring the fact that the four was actually staring at the paper he was pointing at, their mouths gaping open. “ – Matsuda Hiro is supposed to be _dead…”_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

“If you were given a choice to change your life, would you accept it? If yes, which part do you want to change and why? ” he read the article out loud, his fingers combing through the other man’s hair; the older man huffed teasingly, grabbing Nino’s hand and kissing each fingertips with a sly smile on his face.

It was a particularly lazy off day, a very rare one considering the fact that their schedules rarely matched up and the two of them decided to spend the day at home rather than going out where they couldn’t even stay close to each other for more than a few minutes without people giving them weird stares. It’s just really annoying sometimes, when all they wanted was to have a normal day out but he guessed that was the price they had to pay for choosing this line of work.

“Oh, that’s a new one,” Ohno piped up after a few beats, his attention now wholly focused on Nino’s middle finger as he shoved it into his mouth, licking and licking while smiling smugly to himself hearing Nino’s quiet whimpers.

Nino cleared his throat and placed the magazine down as he opted on watching Ohno instead; breathe hitching at every swipe of Ohno’s tongue against and around his finger. “ – i-if y-you don’t have any intention of taking that, t-that teasing f-further, you might as well stop now before I~” he paused, stuttering and feeling slightly annoyed when Ohno’s only response was to grin at him, sucking his finger one last time before he took it out from his mouth. 

“ - isn’t it too early for you to be so cranky?” Ohno asked, taking the magazine Nino had put down and went back on dropping his head on top of Nino’s lap, eyes scanning the article Nino read a few minutes ago. 

“ – I’m not Matsujun but to answer your question, yes, it’s probably too early but it’s your fault because you’re being a deliberate tease besides an annoyingly, adorable ass,” Nino huffed in annoyance then and tweaked Ohno’s ear lightly which Ohno responded with a little laugh before he moved to his side and started nuzzling Nino’s tummy.

“ – not my fault if my charm is even more irresistible in the morning,” Ohno answered, muffling his reply against the fabric of Nino’s shirt. “ – so, about the question,” the older man said, deliberately changing the subject and Nino couldn’t help but roll his eyes in contemplated amusement. Ohno really knew how to turn his emotions over; not that he was complaining because this was why he loved every single minute he spent with Ohno, like the older man could turn such boring moment into a very memorable one.

“ – which question?” Nino responded automatically, moving his fingers along the curve of Ohno’s neck and coaxing the older man to move back into his previous position just because he wanted to see Ohno’s eyes when they’re talking. Ohno hummed and bit at Nino’s skin through the shirt and giggled when Nino cupped him lightly across the head. “ – Satoshi, stop playing around… do you want me to~” 

“ – fine, okay!” Ohno grinned, kissing Nino’s tummy before moving back up to face him. “ – the question you read from this?” Ohno asked, holding the magazine up. 

“ – ahh, so what about it?”

“ – don’t you want to answer it? Don’t you want me to answer it?” Ohno asked, folding his legs under him and leaning to hide his face against the crook of Nino’s neck. Nino chuckled and placed one hand at the small of Ohno’s back, tucking the older man’s head under his chin.

“ – I don’t need to answer such ridiculously sappy questions,” he muttered annoyingly but not without so much fondness as Ohno wriggled and proceeded on wrapping his arms around Nino’s waist. “ – I wonder why the editor even allowed those to be published… it’s so… gay.” 

Ohno muffled his laugh against Nino’s neck and Nino giggled quietly, just enjoying the feel of the older man’s breathing against his skin and the way Ohno’s arms tightening around him, scooting closer to him until there’s practically no space between them.

“ – I want to answer, so ask me…” 

Nino let out a disbelieving snort. “ – seriously, Ohchan?”

“ – seriously, Kazu..” Ohno grinned, kissing the spot where his face was buried into and making Nino shiver despite himself. “ – come on, pretend you’re Kimi-chan and ask me. I’m gonna give you the most amazing answer… so amazing that you might end up asking the editor of Popolo to feature it in the front page of next month’s issue!”

Nino moved his fingers downwards and pinched at Ohno’s hip. “ – what are you talking about? The closest you ever came with something amazing was when they gave us questionnaires and you asked your mother to help you in answering it!” Nino countered smugly. “ – also, this isn’t even~”

“ – psh, stop being a loud-mouth and just ask the question Kazu… come on!” 

Knowing that it was one of those days when Ohno’s stubbornness chose to appear, Nino sighed in resignation and leaned back heavily against the couch, taking Ohno with him. “ – and everybody says I’m the brat… they just don’t know that between the two of us, you’re even brattier. Look at you, you’re older than me and yet~”

Ohno chose that precise moment to pull back but only to lift his face and slammed his mouth against Nino’s to probably just shut him up. But Nino’s never been the one to waste such opportunity as he quickly opened up and received Ohno’s kisses, kissing the older man back with equal intensity. Ohno then pulled back and Nino wasn’t able to stop a frustrated whine from slipping out of his mouth as Ohno went back on hiding his face against Nino’s neck.

“ - Satoshi~” Nino growled threateningly under his breath, hands moving to grip at Ohno’s elbows.

Ohno remained firm, burying his face further down Nino’s neck and murmured, “ – the question, Kazunari…”

With a seemingly defeated sigh, Nino picked up the discarded magazine and dropped a kiss on top Ohno’s head. “ – fine. But make sure you give a satisfying answer or you’ll be punished… you’ll have to pay the rent for three straight months plus you’d have to buy me a game of my choice every month starting next month and ~”

“ – and if my answer is satisfying enough?” Ohno retorted quickly, cutting Nino’s words off.

Nino was rendered speechless for a few lingering moments before he managed to say, “ – oh, I highly doubt it,”

Ohno grinned smugly against his neck and Nino kind of wanted to just push the older man down and ravish him for being so decidedly adorable. “ – I say~ you’re just scared, coz you know I’m going to blow your mind with my awesomeness,” 

Nino smothered a laugh and giggled despite the fact that Ohno’s obviously doing this just to distract him, but still, “ – fine. You’ll get that fishing gear you’ve been moaning about for weeks now but if and only if, your answer happens to be so awesome for it to blow my mind off…” 

Ohno nodded and kissed his throat. “ – fair enough,” he said. “ – so, ask me now?”

Nino chuckled and scanned the magazine without actually reading it since he knew exactly what was written on it already. “ – okay then… If you are given a choice to change your life, would you accept it? If yes, which part do you want to change and why?” he said, unconsciously bracing himself from whatever it was Ohno was about to give out and feeling slightly silly upon realizing it. 

“ – yes,” Ohno answered and Nino stiffened at the same time Ohno’s hold tightened around his waist. “ – I want to be born a girl so we wouldn’t have to hide our relationship to the world… well, I’d prefer it if you’re the girl but since you’re stubborn and won’t answer this…” Ohno paused and shook his head, smiling a little as he reached up to kiss the corners of Nino’s mouth. Then, Ohno was speaking again before he could even allow himself to breath properly. “ - anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’d want to be reborn as a girl so I can kiss you and hold your hand in public, Kazu… so I could show everyone how lucky I am for having you, for loving you, for being loved by you, for~”

There was a sudden roar coming from the pit of his being as he whipped his head and stared in disbelief back at Ohno who was then stopped talking altogether, his eyes filled with unspoken desire to continue but opted not to when he saw that wild look on Nino’s face.

“ – d-do you w-want to go now?” Nino asked in a hoarse voice, startling Ohno as the older man paused in mid-sentence.

Ohno looked vaguely confused as Nino moved to stand up, gaze lost in front of him. Worried, Ohno followed and grabbed Nino’s elbow. “ – a-are we going somewhere? I thought you said you wanted to just spend the day alone~”

Nino turned and leaned in forward, kissing Ohno’s mouth very, very softly, one hand moving to cup the back of Ohno’s neck to pull the older man closer and the other resting casually down the small of Ohno’s back. Surprised, Ohno wasn’t able to do much as he just stood there, eyes opened as Nino kissed him tenderly.

“ – we’re going to buy that fishing gear,” Nino muttered against Ohno’s lips, his cheeks warm and flushed. Ohno beamed through the confusion, wrapping his arms around Nino’s body as he initiated the kiss this time. “ – let’s go before I change my mind,”

“ – really?” the older man asked just as Nino pecked his lips twice. Nino nodded and closed his eyes, leaning in to nuzzle at Ohno’s cheek.

“ – really.”

Giggling, Ohno traced Nino’s bottom lip with the tips of his tongue. “ – are you paying?” he asked.

“ – keep that up and I might end up NOT paying for it…” Nino answered, feeling mildly annoyed.

Shaking his head, Ohno moved closer and tipped Nino’s chin up, “ – see how awesome I am?” Ohno grumbled happily, making Nino rolled his eyes back at him. “ – but it’s true, Kazu,” he followed with a grin, fingertips tracing Nino’s cheek softly. “ – that’s the only thing I wanted to change and nothing more. My life’s perfect as it is now, with Arashi, with you… but still, isn’t it nice to be able to hold hands without people looking at us like we’re some kind of freak show? But it’s just a thought, you know…”

“ – I know,” Nino agreed quite readily, taking Ohno’s hand and lifting it to drop a kiss against the older man’s palm. “ – but this the closest I get to being happy… and I wouldn’t trade it for anything or anyone, Satoshi… I love you because you’re you and I know it’s hard, but I won’t change anything in my life if it means I’m going to lose you…”

Ohno shook his head and leaned in closer, pressing their foreheads together. “ – you won’t,” he said, kissing the tips of Nino’s nose. “ – I’ll always be here no matter what happens. You won’t have to change anything and even if you have to, I’d still be here… I’m not going anywhere…”

Nino nodded and closed his eyes. “ – promise?”

Ohno kissed him hard and kissed him again. “ – I promise.”

#

Nino knew there was no point in making himself believe that everything was okay; not after meeting that stranger and especially not after the talk they had with Jun’s private investigator. There were just a lot of things to be considered, people they needed to talk to besides the one’s that mattered… especially those people who really mattered. 

It had been two days since he last saw Hiro and as much as he wanted to stay focused with the task of uncovering the rest that were needed to uncover about the man, he just couldn’t; it was even harder now, especially after the fact that almost every single thing they came to know about the man, aside from those that were already shown to them in terms of documentations, had pointed them into one, painful realization;

Hiro was, indeed, their long-lost leader, Ohno.

And the questions kept on piling up no matter how they tried not to bring the subject up. Jun and Sho had made it their job to ask Gori-san to continue his investigation and to report whatever it was he could still add to the growing evidences of the man being not who he thought he was. That same night, it took him almost all of his remaining strength not to leave their cottage and run back to the man’s house if only to make him remember everything. Because yes, as much as Nino hated the idea, it was crystal clear that the man obviously lost his memory and was now living someone else’s life without him realizing it.

And the reason behind it was the one thing the four of them wanted to know as soon as possible.

“Nino, could you please stop pacing around? I’m getting dizzy and I’m seriously about to have a panic attack if you don’t~” Jun muttered, slapping a hand over his temple and proceeded on rubbing it over his face in utter annoyance. Then, “ – please Nino, just sit the fuck down and stop moving!” Jun muttered angrily, fingers massaging his temple as he leaned back and placed his eyeglasses down with a scowl. Nino on the other hand, seemed to be ignoring the rest of the world in favor of his own thoughts until Aiba was forced to stand up from his seat and grabbed Nino by the waist. “ – seriously, Nino… if you don’t sit still, I’m going to tie you down on that chair!” Jun growled.

Nino managed a scowl of his own, trying to wriggle free out of Aiba’s hold. “ – h-he’s… h-he’s coming b-back today…” he whispered, his voice dark and hesitant. “ – I w-want to see him. I want to see him now, Jun!”

Sho hissed from his place in the corner, “ – Nino, we already talked about this. No one’s allowed to go near him until we had this thing figured out! Besides, I’m sure you know that you might not be able to control yourself when you’re with him,” Sho grumbled, eyes shifting on the still visible bruise on the corners of his mouth. “ – and think about what it might do to him if the same thing should happen and his wife and son are there to witness it… please Nino, please have some patience.”

“ – I.. I p-promise I won’t do anything,” he whispered, almost begging. “ – I j-just… I j-just want to see him,”

“ – Nino, please?”

It was at that exact moment when Nino heard Aiba whispered something in his ear and the older man’s hold loosened around him that Nino abandoned all form of sensible thinking as he jumped up, sprinting towards the door and ignoring Jun and Sho’s frantic calling. He opened the door and let himself out without looking back, thankful that Aiba was there to at least contradict the other two even though the older man knew he’d be chastised badly because of it.

Murmuring quiet thanks under his breath, Nino inhaled deeply and ran off.

#

He was gasping for breath by the time he reached the front of Hiro’s house. It was only about thirty minutes past six but it’s already dark out here; Nino tiptoed towards the door, feeling a little bit hesitant the minute he heard Hiro’s obviously delighted voice coming from inside the house which was also followed by a giggling voice of a boy.

Fighting against the jealousy that was starting to cripple his senses, Nino managed to reach out and knocked a few times, all the while feeling that strange sense of something which was remotely close to fear, knotting at the center of his being. He stood back and waited, his chest hammering hard as he heard footsteps moving towards the door and Nino never felt more scared than he was at that moment.

“Oh, it’s Ninomiya-san!” Hiro exclaimed the minute he opened the door and found Nino standing there, looking like he was about to run back to wherever he came from. Nino tried his best not to do anything silly, which probably included everything he’s been thinking right up to that moment and smiled hesitantly, biting the inside of his cheeks at the same time the other man’s face broke into a huge grin. But the fact that Hiro wasn’t aware about the inner battle that was going on inside Nino’s head, the other man just smiled his sweetest, like he was so glad to see Nino and reached over to grab Nino’s hand, pulling him inside the house with a grin. “ – come inside, come inside! My wife and son are already here; let me introduce you to them…”

Letting himself be pulled, Nino tried hard suppressing that seemingly growing anger deep inside him. This was what Sho had been warning him about and he knew he was stupid for letting it get to him but how could he not when he was about to meet the person who was probably one of those who were responsible for his sufferings; for the time he spent mourning over the love of his life whom he thought died but was very much alive and was living someone else’s life, for reasons he would soon find out.

Because he promised himself never to leave this house without getting the answers he needed; answers to questions that took years for him to be able to ask and he wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass... he wasn’t that stupid and he knew what he had to do. 

“ – welcome to our house again, Ninomiya-san,” Hiro stated aloud and effectively breaking Nino’s train of thoughts. He realized they were already standing in the familiar view of Hiro’s living room and a boy came running towards them, trapping himself in between Hiro’s legs and looking up at Nino with eyes full of questions.

“Papa, who’s he?” the boy, about four years old asked, tugging at Hiro’s fingers. Nino managed a half-smile, though his brain was already in the middle of comparing the boy’s features and that of Hiro without him even realizing it. 

“ – he’s my friend,” Hiro scooped the boy in his arms as he answered, nodding at Nino at the same time. “ – his name is Ninomiya-san,” Hiro followed with another smile, motioning his hand to the direction of the couch. 

“That’s not very nice, Ryuta-kun,” a woman’s voice called out from behind them and Nino was immediately thrown back, not knowing whether to turn around or just simply stand there while he wait for the woman, presumably Hiro’s wife to came into view.

Only, either of that happened because Hiro crouched down to put the boy back on his feet and quickly spun around, smiling. “ – oh, you know how he’s like when there are visitors,” Hiro stated, fondness overflowing his voice and Nino followed the man’s movement as he stopped in front of a very young woman. Nino stopped breathing altogether when Hiro leaned in and dropped a soft kiss against her cheek that made her giggle before he moved to grab her hands and guided her forward.

“ – Ninomiya-san, meet my wife – Rika,” 

As if on cue, Nino bowed his head low but didn’t say anything; he didn’t know what was there to say, not even when Hiro stared at him as if expecting him to say something because words couldn’t quite made their way to his brain, enough to at least greet Hiro’s wife and son. He cleared his throat, hoping he could be able to come up with something decent to say, staring at the woman who’s eyes seemed distant and unfocused when he heard the other man spoke again.

“ – oh, she wouldn’t know where you are if you won’t talk, Ninomiya-san,” Hiro said then, slowly dragging his wife forward with a little smile aimed at Nino’s general direction. Nino stared confusedly back at them, still couldn’t able to process what was actually happening in front of him. The woman tilted her head in a way so elegant and yet so simple that caught Nino off guard, especially when she let out a smile as her gaze went past him.

“ – e-excuse me?”

Hiro’s smiled faltered at the same time Nino saw the wife’s hand moving to pat Hiro’s arm affectionately. “ – ah, did I forget to mention that my wife is blind?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

Life was indeed full of surprises, Nino reflected after a while, once they were finally settled on the couch with Hiro’s wife and staring at her (just because he could get away with it without her exactly knowing it). Hiro’s gone to the kitchen to grab him something to drink despite Nino’s polite request for the other man not to; he actually didn’t want to stay much longer than he’d initially planned, most especially after meeting Hiro’s blind wife.

A soft laugh broke into his line of thoughts, making him gasp all of a sudden as he made to focus his eyes on her again; she had somehow managed to look so relaxed, laughing like that as she shook her head and Nino realized the reason for it exactly. He turned his head to the direction of the kitchen, where he could hear Hiro’s mild cursing, followed by clinking noises and then a sound of a glass breaking. Another frustrated whine and Hiro’s muffled ‘Ryuta, stay there and don’t move!’ words of warning before Nino found himself abruptly standing, torn between running to the kitchen and staying where he was to, well, do what he came there for.

“Oh, don’t worry about him Ninomiya-san,” the wife then said, catching Nino off guard for the nth time that night as he stared back at her again. “ – he’ll be fine. He’s just really clumsy sometimes, especially when he’s agitated over something,” she followed, tilting her head as if she was trying to pinpoint where he was. Nino suddenly felt like a jerk for standing there and staring her down when she’s actually really nice and polite and… wait, what did she just say?

Processing everything she actually didn’t say, Nino went back to sitting and trying hard to ignore the noises back in the kitchen, his chest heaving hard. 

“I.. I’m s-sorry, w-what exactly do you mean by that?” 

The wife smiled but Nino could see the underlying meaning through it, seeing that her smile didn’t reach her eyes this time. Willing himself not to push through with anything, unless he was sure he wouldn’t get thrown out of the house for actually trying to bitch at Hiro’s wife, he waited for at least one, tiny chance to bring the subject up without sounding like he’s accusing or something.

A beat, then, “ – I mean it exactly as that,” she replied in a soft voice, rendering Nino speechless for the next couple of minutes before he realized she was speaking again. “ – two days ago when he came to pick us up, he wouldn’t stop talking about these four guys he met in the beach,” she started, pausing to tuck her hair behind her ear. Nino found himself staring again, fingers clutched on top of his lap and constantly reminded himself to breath while he listened. “ – he’s been acting strange since then; twitching in his sleep as if he couldn’t keep still and he keeps on breaking things since we came back. And then when we arrived this afternoon, he told me he started a new painting,”

A strangled gasp escaped Nino’s mouth before he even had the time to slap a hand over his lips, eyes widening at the revelation. The wife, however, seemed rather aware of the emotions Nino struggled to hide from her and failing, stopping for a brief moment to allow Nino some precious time to pull himself back together.

“ – I… h-he p-paints?” he asked rather stupidly, not knowing what to ask really as he stayed there, unblinking, breathing harshly.

“ – yes. And according to the people who’ve seen his works, they said he’s pretty good,” she answered proudly, a little hint of sadness covering her voice as she looked down.

Words were caught in his throat and Nino tried swallowing them down with a whimper; he was about to ask another seemingly stupid question when Hiro appeared behind them, balancing two bottles of beer and two glasses of juice in a tray. 

“ – ah, sorry Ninomiya-san, there’s just been a minor accident back there,” the man apologized quickly, sheepishly, putting the tray down and handing Nino a bottle before he grabbed one glass of juice and nudged at his wife’s hand to take it. 

She smiled and Nino saw her fingers clung at Hiro’s hand a little tightly; her touches lingered against his skin for brief moment before she released her grip with a sigh. “ – no, no.. don’t worry about it,” Nino managed to reply, taking a sip from his bottle because his mouth suddenly felt dry and he needed to do something to stop himself from saying something he knew he would surely regret later. Instead, Nino did his best to come up with something he’s always been good at…“ – I really thought of coming after you because I was worried you were setting your kitchen on fire. It’ s a good thing your wife is here to tell me that it’s okay, since you have a habit of breaking everything you came in contact with every once and a while…” he added with a chuckle, laughing along them when Hiro suddenly cracked up in obvious embarrassment.

“ – ugh, so sorry about that,” Hiro replied with a grin, face red and flushing and Nino had to stop himself from wanting to feel it disappear beneath his palm. “ – I’m r-really, w-well…”

The wife chuckled beside him, so pretty and small, letting her fingers slide along Hiro’s arms as the other man moved to nuzzle at her cheeks. Nino felt vaguely sick at the sight, grabbing his bottle and gulping it down as he looked away. 

“ – don’t worry darling,” she said, forcing Nino’s attention back to them, “ – I told Ninomiya-san just how much of a clumsy baby you are and to tell you honestly, we both find it a little too amusing…” she said, fondness evident on her voice and Nino couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.

It was supposed to be him; was supposed to be his hands curled against the other man’s, was supposed to be his waist the other man’s arms were wrapped around, and not hers. Those things the two of them used to do together which Nino was sure he’s been doing with her for the past couple of years. All of these were breaking his heart, making his head dizzy with the desire of taking what was rightfully his, but couldn’t because he knew that right now, he wasn’t allowed to.

With another forced smile, he nodded; realizing that the older man’s gaze had somehow shifted onto him despite his obvious attempt at PDA, eyes shifting back to Nino while Nino tried hard swallowing that imaginary lump that started forming on his throat. Nino felt another tingling pain right at the very center of his being, entirely giving up at pretending he could still stay after knowing the fact that no matter how strong he was, he just couldn’t stand seeing the love of his life like this; laughing contentedly and looking so blissfully happy with anyone that wasn’t him. Despite the fact that the person he was seeing in front of him wasn’t technically his Ohno (since he’s obviously been brainwashed to be living a dead person’s life), but an entirely different person (because, though the technicalities of it all were purely stated on the papers they had on their hands, he still couldn’t quite convince himself that this wasn’t real). Nino knew he wouldn’t have lasted this long if it wasn’t for the unexpected turn of events of actually meeting Hiro’s blind, but equally charming wife and planning on making her suffer despite all of the pain he’s been through was terribly, utterly wrong. 

Still, there was this tiny part in him who wished for the impossible; for something he knew was just a little too good to be true. That was, to at least see something familiar on those warm, brown eyes he longed to look at for the past years; those years he only did nothing but mourn for the older man’s absence and while silently wishing he could somehow sense a change the next time they see each other but there was none.

Nino smiled bitterly at the unfairness of it all, thinking, hoping for something like that was probably just asking for too much. He shouldn’t have expected much, not now, at least.

Taking one last gulp of his beer, Nino decided it was probably best if he leave now and just wait until everything’s cleared up; turning up unexpectedly on Hiro’s doorstep every single time he felt the itch wouldn’t do him any good. Sho was right; if he couldn’t force himself to leave now, he might end up doing something entirely stupid that not even his band mates would be able to fix.

Placing the bottle down, Nino stood up from his seat and tried ignoring the confused look on Hiro’s face, bowing down at the same time. But the words weren’t able to make it out of his mouth when her voice cut through the heavy air surrounding them, startling him and Hiro.

“ – why don’t you eat dinner with us, Ninomiya-san,” she said in a high-pitched voice, effectively taking Nino out of his reverie and while the other man visibly stiffening beside her. “ – Hiro makes the best chahan, I tell you…” she followed with a wink on Nino’s general direction, smiling sweetly. “ – and you should try the dried fishes my parents-in-law packed for us to bring home…” the she turned to face Hiro, moving her fingers up until she found his cheek and started tapping it softly, playfully. “ – would you cook chahan for us, darling? I bet our visitor would like to have a taste of your specialty…”

Chahan. Painting. Fishing. 

He swear to god, if she happened to mention about Hiro’s love for dancing and singing in the next couple of seconds, he’d probably wouldn’t be able to stop launching himself towards the other man and he didn’t care if his so-called family was there to witness it, because, damn if that alone wasn’t enough for him to snap then he didn’t know anymore. 

There was no way around this anymore, Nino thought, biting his lips down and making sure he was strong enough not to show them how hard he’s trying not to fall apart; her words seemed to have cemented any doubts he still pretty much felt about the whole thing, making him tremble at the thoughts of finally being able to hold the other man after years of being denied that pleasure.

But the fact that the other man didn’t seem to know who the fuck he really was, was the problem Nino knew they’d have to resolve first and foremost.

He managed to crack a seemingly hesitant smile, pushing down images of Sho and Jun’s bitching faces because he knew he wasn’t that strong to resist this… “ – I, w-well, if you think it’s okay…” he answered softly, looking down and away, willing his voice not to falter as he finally settled his gaze unto the other man. 

The wife waved her hand gracefully then tapped at Hiro’s arm, prompting him. “ – oh, of course it’s okay!” she exclaimed but her voice sounded tight and forced, like she didn’t want Nino to leave just yet. Nino suddenly felt giddy, like he’s seventeen again and the feeling was entirely similar to that time when Ohno’s mother had invited him for over for dinner and he and Ohno played footsy under the dining table the entire time, while Ohno’s mother filled him with the details of his son who apparently sucked at playing video games. 

There were butterflies all around his belly and his palms were sweating as he tried focusing his attention to her, not wanting to let anything she planned on saying escaped without him hearing them loud and clear. “ – it’s been so long since we’ve had visitors. Our friends are all staying in Okinawa; even both our families lives there too and if not for the fact that I usually whined about being bored every other six months, he probably wouldn’t even go his way to take us to our parents’ home. Well, it’s not like I hate living here, it’s just that I feel kind of lonely sometimes since he’s usually either out fishing or staying in his makeshift studio while working on his art,” she paused when Hiro very clearly huffed in response, pouting when the only thing she did was to let out a smug grin before she continued with, “ - He’s such an old man, you see… with his love for fishing and painting and all that stuffs that old people usually loved doing…” she stated with the barest hint of playfulness that made Hiro chuckle despite looking so terribly embarrassed. 

“ – to put it simply, he completely sucked at being a husband,” Nino quoted teasingly and laughing when she started cracking up while the other man pouted even more, crossing his arms over his chest and throwing Nino a mild glare.

“ – if you guys are done humiliating me, would you please excuse me now so I could prepare our dinner before Ryuta starts eating my pencil colors again?” Hiro asked, still pouting; Nino tried his best not to focus his eyes on those lips when he knew he’s already on the verge of losing his mind and his capability to think straight. 

“ – d-do you need help?” he found himself saying, biting his tongue a little too late and smiling awkwardly when he saw her stiffened despite her obvious effort not to let it show. “ – I… I k-know how to c-cook and w-well…” 

She smiled, shaking her head. “ – no, Ninomiya-san… it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about his cooking technique – I can assure you no one died yet from eating Hiro’s chahan…” she said with a wink, making her husband squirm a bit more, his face flushing red.

“ – Rika, I thought you’re my wife! Why do you keep on embarrassing me in front of my new friend? You’re so cruel…” Hiro muttered, faking hurt and Nino wasn’t able to keep himself from chuckling.

She pulled her lip out at him and Nino added the word ‘adorable’ to his definition of her. “ – of course I am, that’s why I know how stunningly cute you are if you want to be,” she said, laughing. Then, “ – and friendship is about people sharing things together, not keeping secrets from one another and being honest with each other, right?” she added, letting her eyes wander around with a smile and Nino felt his insides contract with something he just saw passed through her eyes. “ – am I right, Ninomiya-san?” she followed, obviously waiting for some kind of reaction from him and he nodded, only realizing it later that she couldn’t actually see it.

With a hesitant smile, he answered, “ – y-yeah. You are absolutely right…”

She smiled sweetly again. “ - of course, of course. Now shooo,” she said, slapping Hiro’s arms and pushing the other man lightly. “ – you don’t want us to starve, do you? And make it good, alright? Don’t embarrass me in front of Ninomiya-san…” then, with a little meaningful smile, she turned as her gaze went past Nino again, “ - then we could just stay put, laze around and let him do all the work. We can just talk, if you feel like it; it’s really been too long since we’ve had some company and I really do think you’re a very interesting man, Ninomiya-san…”

Nino had to smile back, feeling rather cautious all of a sudden. “ – t-that’s okay, I guess…” he replied, shifting his eyes back to Hiro. 

With another beatific smile, Hiro saluted. “ – okay then, I’ll leave you guys here while I prepare a feast!” 

Nino chuckled, facing the wife with a sly grin. “ – could you please show me where you placed your first aid kit so I could check if you have stock or if I need to go straight to the hospital after eating?” he said, grinning when Hiro very clearly snorted. “ – fine. I guess I just need to trust you guys after all…”

With a wave of his hand, Hiro strutted towards the kitchen. “ – I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that because I’m sure you will regret saying those once you’ve tasted my world renown chahan. So, I’m going now. Please make yourself at home, Nino-chan…” he said smugly before disappearing behind their kitchen’s door while Nino was pretty much hyperventilating all by himself without him noticing it. 

Nino-chan?

“ – finally alone ne?” he heard her say as he turned to properly look at her, his blood still pounding hard through his ears. 

“ – eh?”

Her smile seemed to falter this time around and Nino could’ve sworn he saw the corners of her eyes glistened with silent tears as she raised her face, her expression was surprisingly calm and peaceful.

“ – so, do you want to tell me now why you’re here, Ninomiya-san? Or should I guess?” she said in a soft voice but with a perfect clarity that made Nino’s knees wobble in shock.

“ – e-excuse me?”

She smiled sadly and leaned back. “ – are you here to get him back?” she whispered and Nino stood frozen, eyes widening in surprise.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

“What the hell were you thinking, Masaki?!” Sho breathed angrily, pacing around with his phone plastered against his ear; he’s been trying to contact Nino for the last half hour because Aiba wouldn’t let them get past the door, guarding it with his arms stretched and his lips pursed in determination. “ – sometimes, I don’t really understand what the fuck is going on inside your head. I thought you’re with us and now~” he paused, only to threw an exasperated look towards Jun, who was then tied down on the chair Sho was previously seated at, his eyes throwing fires to Aiba’s general direction and mumbling his curses against his own scarf that Aiba managed to wrap over his mouth. Chuckling quietly to himself, Sho finally gave up and went to sit beside Jun.

“Don’t you dare remove that gag Sho-chan,” Aiba muttered cautiously, eyes locked on Sho’s hand. “ – you know he wouldn’t stop screaming and I might be forced to do something really, really scary, you know, like ~”

“ – Masaki, this isn’t funny anymore! And I bet you know he’ll give you hell once he’s free, right? We’re not going to follow him, I promise. And could you please stop doing that?” Sho grumbled irritably and reached to tug Jun’s scarf down off his mouth.

“Fuck you, Masaki!” Jun half-shouted immediately after his mouth was free and Sho kind of wished he didn’t have to be here to witness this but as much as he loved seeing Jun like this, helpless and flushing red in anger, he knew he would have to keep an eye over their youngest friend from now on while hoping he wasn’t that pissed to actually kill Aiba this time around. 

But seeing Aiba’s sheepish grin made Sho grumbled something incoherent under his breath because the taller man was clearly enjoying this temporary moment of superiority with the way his eyes twinkled in silent glee.

“ – that’s enough, Jun…” Sho grumbled, moving behind Jun to untie him while throwing cautious glances over at Aiba. “ – I’m going to remove this but promise me you won’t go straight to murdering him because as much as I love seeing you two go after each other’s necks, let me tell you that we’re too old for this…” he added, a little annoyed. Aiba frowned and shook his head, placed his hands inside his pants pocket and started walking towards them. Sho was forced to stop the movements of his hands, suddenly afraid of what Jun might do to Aiba if ever he was already free and Aiba’s just within his reach. But then Aiba moved quickly, stopping just behind Jun and did something entirely unexpected by wrapping his long arms around their youngest friend before dropping an apologetic kiss on top of Jun’s head.

“ – I’m sorry,” Aiba whispered through Jun’s hair, moving his face to nuzzle at Jun’s cheek with which Jun replied with a garbled ‘hmph’. Sho smiled despite himself and tapped Aiba’s hands, motioning him to loosen his hold so he could finish untying Jun.

Jun let out an annoyed sort of sound from the back of his throat when Aiba dropped another kiss against his cheek before he let go. “ – you’re lucky I’m not in the mood for some serious beatings today, because if not~” 

Aiba stepped back and pouted and Sho resisted the urge to pinch the taller man’s cheek for being such a baby, even at times like this. “ – if you do that, Natsuki will cry,” Aiba mumbled hoarsely and this time, he and Jun wasn’t able to stop themselves from chuckling. 

“ – oh well, if she’s still isn’t used to seeing you with bruises, bleeding lips or swelling eyes, then I think there’s no hope for her,” Jun replied blithely, ignoring the way Aiba pouted even more.

With another sheepish smile, Aiba looked down. “ – I think she’d understand if I’m to go home to her in pieces, since I really deserve it…”

Jun huffed. “ – hah! Yeah right, you’re saying that because you aren’t the one she would verbally assault for hurting her stupid boyfriend…” he said, turning his head around when Sho resumed untying him.

“ – you shouldn’t have done that, Masaki…” Sho stated softly, locking his gaze unto Aiba while he untied Jun and trusting Aiba to understand the implications of his actions. “ – we don’t know what is happening now. We couldn’t even contact Nino and you know, as much as I want everything to be resolved, rushing things will only make it all the more difficult. I know you mean well… I know how hard it is for you to see Nino suffer all these years but we need to be patient; we need to stay together, to stand beside him while we wait… we’ve found Satoshi at last, and the least we could do is to make sure Nino is still himself when he returns…”

“ – it’s pretty clear that they’re not thinking at all, Sho-chan…” Jun grumbled under his breath, “ – because if they are, they would know that it’s a terrible idea to face leader right now, when he doesn’t even know who the fuck we are. Think about it, Masaki… if you were Nino, and you are standing in front of your supposedly-dead boyfriend, who’s actually alive and doesn’t remember a thing about you, who also happens to be living someone else’s life with a wife and a son, what do you think you will feel? Do you think you’d be able to just stand there and do nothing? Plus the fact that it’s Nino we’re talking about here and you know how fucking possessive that brat was when it comes to leader… oh god, I don’t even want to think about what he might do…”

“ – he wouldn’t do anything to hurt leader… Nino loves leader so much, so much that I know he’d be able to do what we think he couldn’t just to prove us wrong. If keeping silent is what he’d need to do to at least stand a little closer to leader, he’d do exactly that. And soon, leader will know who he is… who we are… and this will be over,”

Sho resisted the urge to chuckle and instead, he reached over to mess with Aiba’s hair. Sometimes, he really envied Aiba’s way of thinking; the way he’s always able to find something worth smiling about in every worse situation. He just wished they were able to share the same sentiment this time around, but he guessed it would take a lot of practice to be able to do that. “ – fine. But until then, we should learn how to be patient; we were good at doing that, weren’t we? It took us almost a decade to be able to accomplish what we have and not even Satoshi’s apparent death stopped us from moving forward. And now that we found him, isn’t it better to do what we do best and wait for things to come to us naturally? He’ll come around, Masaki… leader belongs to Arashi, the same way Satoshi belongs to Nino… we’d just need to wait patiently for his return. That’s the least we can do for now,”

Nodding resignedly, Aiba muttered another apology under his breath and backed away a little to give Jun some little time to stretch.

Free at last, Jun quickly threw Aiba a hard whack across the back of his head which the taller man answered with a low bow and another kiss on Jun’s cheek. “ – you’re an idiot,” Jun muttered but not without so much fondness. “ – do that to me again and I swear to god, I’ll bury you alive that not even your psychic girl friend would be able to find the location where I hid your body. I’d probably do that to Nino as well, since he’s quickly following your footsteps on being one of the dumbest people to ever exist…”

Aiba chuckled, shifting slightly to rest his head on top of Jun’s lap. “ – but you love me,” he said, grinning. Sho couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how stupidly sappy the two of them looked like right now. “ – the same way you love Leader and Nino and Sho-chan… the same way I love you…” he added, voice trailing at the last syllable and grinning when Jun cupped him lightly across his forehead. 

“ – should we follow him?” Sho asked after a while, giving up entirely on trying contacting Nino’s mobile phone since it has been out of reach. 

Shaking his head, Jun reached over to pat Sho’s shoulder. “ – I think it’s best if we leave him be, for now…” he said. “ – let’s trust this idiot’s decision for once… anyway, I think he’d contact us if he needs to be rescued, just like the last time…” 

Sho chuckled and stood up, “ – very well…” he said, walking towards the direction of the kitchen, smiling. “ – anyone up for some beer while we wait for our mistress’ return?”

Aiba bounced happily, almost bumping his head against Jun’s chin as he flung himself on Sho’s back, screaming;

“ – yaay! Time to get royally drunk!”

#

Are you here to get him back?

… get him back?

… back?

Nino knew himself enough to recognize this as one of those rare moments he wished he was someone else; the urge to run away as far as he could from there was too strong he could barely suppress a whimper, forcing his eyes to focus on her and her alone. She had her chin tipped up determinedly towards him, as if in that single moment she could see him and Nino wasn’t able to stop himself from doubting her then, if she was, like what she claimed, was really blind.

Another long moment had passed, the sounds of their breathings and Hiro’s occasional loud mutterings were the only audible sounds he was able to focus his attention to as he kept his eyes glued on her face. He still couldn’t process what she just said; probably because his brain was too clogged up to even form any coherent thought, let alone wished for everything to make sense when he knew nothing probably ever would, not after he heard the words she opted on saying next. 

“ – you’re here for him, right?” she followed insistently, confirmation evident in her tone and Nino was left gaping for words, breathing harshly. “ – I won’t be able to hear if you opted on just standing there, Ninomiya-san…”

She knew. 

She fucking knew and yet…

There was nothing he’d ever wanted then but to fire out the questions he had carefully gathered and memorized before he came there, wanted nothing but to get his hands over her shoulders and shook the answers out of her but he couldn’t. Instead, the only sound that came out of his mouth was a muffled whimper, his whole body was trembling and everything around him seemed to fall apart beneath his feet.

“ – I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking down and wiping her cheeks and Nino kind of wished he had the strength to scream at her, to tell her how fucking hell she thought he’d be able to forgive her for ruining his life, for making his life miserable because she was selfish enough to keep Ohno here, hidden from the world he always belonged to, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to; not until she told him her side of the story but still…

The pain that shot right through him was unbearable; every fiber of his being screamed in agony, making it even harder for everything to make sense even in his own head. A huge part of him was rejoicing at the fact that there was no need for him to convince her about Hiro, but still, he knew he have all the right to question her and that’s what exactly what he’s going to do.

He looked at her and saw her hands trembled, her lips quivering in a way that almost broke his heart but he couldn’t find it in him to feel anything for her; not now, not until he knew her reasons for keeping his Ohchan as if he was hers. He knew it’s unfair to focus his anger on her only but since he still didn’t know the truth behind all of these, he didn’t have any choice. She knew; and if that alone wasn’t enough to earn his hatred, he didn’t know what will, plus the fact that all these time, she could have done something to correct those mistakes but she did nothing.

Instead, she kept quiet; probably hoping they wouldn’t be found and if not for fate’s weird and twisted way of telling him how badly fucked up his life was, no one would know that Ohno was alive and was just hour’s drive away from them.

Forcing himself to sit down without taking his eyes off her, he managed to clear his throat before, “ – s-so you knew,” he grumbled evenly, trying his best not to let his emotions showing up in his voice and trying to pull himself together while she was obviously only waiting for him to snap. She was frightened; it was evident in the way her lower lip was still quivering and he breathed deeply to at least clear his head; to erase the ugly images of himself hurting her. “ – I… d-don’t be s-scared,” he muttered, softening his voice because he didn’t want her to stop talking just yet. “ – I j-just w-want to k-know w-why… j-just, if you knew, why didn’t you~” he said, pausing when a gasping sort of sound escaped her mouth, slapping her right hand over her lips a second too late.

Those were all he could say at the moment, staring at her furiously, shaking and trembling quietly while he tried stopping himself from adding anything, words that he knew would only make him look all the more dangerous than he already was. Her eyes were too bright, probably because she had been trying to keep her tears from rolling down her face, trying to keep her emotions reined in until the very end. He let out an almost audible sound of despair just as she looked down, quickly wiping her cheeks before lifting her face to stare blankly in front of her again.

“ – i-it was hard,” she said then, her voice shaking and Nino almost, almost wasn’t able to stop himself from cursing out loud as he bit the inside of cheeks for good measure. “ – b-believe me, I tried… not just once but~”

Nino did everything he could not to judge her then, hate her more than he already had but it was just too hard, most especially after knowing the fact that she was aware, that she knew. “ – forgive me but to tell you honestly, I don’t think you’re telling the truth…” he replied, anger seeping through his tone; dropping all of his previous attempts at being gentle and waving his good-boy image goodbye, Nino snarled. “ – a-all these time, while his loved ones mourn for him for thinking we’ve lost him forever, he was here, with you... taking over the role of your dead husband and while you were quietly living a blissful life as if nothing was fucking wrong, why Rika-chan, do you think I’d believe you?” he said in between gritted teeth, his insides trembled with the force of his anger as he clawed his fingers tightly, his nails digging a little painfully against his skin. 

There was a long moment before he managed to calm himself, enough to properly focus his eyes on her again. “ – I’m not expecting you to,” she said in a whisper, all gentle tone and kind, apologetic eyes. “ – but the only thing I could do is to beg for your forgiveness and ask you to take some time to at least listen, because you wouldn’t be able to understand if the only thing you’ll think about is the fact that I s-stole him from you, which I didn’t do, I swear to God,” She shook her head repeatedly, biting down on her lips as if by doing that she could stop her tears from falling and Nino wished he could feel something, anything, but he couldn’t; and if that made him feel like the world’s biggest jerk, he didn’t give a damn because she fucking deserved it.

Heaving out a deep breath, Nino tried shaking himself out of this life-consuming anger and whispered back. “ – alright then,” he said in a seemingly mocking tone. “Tell me something I don’t already know and maybe, just maybe…”

She nodded and with a seemingly renewed determination, she squinted her eyes into his general direction and muttered, “ – it w-wasn’t my d-decision to keep him,” she said in a high pitched tone and lowering her lashes in silent apology the second after. “ – I d-didn’t even know he wasn’t my husband up until eight months ago when I was finally allowed to go home,”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

He didn’t want to go, didn’t want to leave that place just yet after everything he came to know straight from her lips. It’s late, even later than he thought the time was but he couldn’t force himself to go though he knew that it was exactly what he supposed he should have done hours before; but staying was one thing he knew he would never regret, because then he was able to get the answers he needed without having to wait for far longer than he already did.

The truth wasn’t as ugly as he thought it might be, probably because he had anticipated the worst out of it or probably because he knew there was more to it than what she’s allowed to know, way before he got this chance. Rika had been patient enough to answer all of his questions the best way she could as he tried squeezing just the most important ones while they waited for Hiro to finish with his cooking. There were still a lot to be answered, but Nino saved them all because he wanted to be with his friends the next time he asked them; telling her exactly that and feeling like he’d wanted to hug her for her surprisingly immediate understanding.

At least, that’s what he felt; the anger was still there, somehow, but it wasn’t as fierce as it was the first hour he stepped into their home. He knew there were questions left unanswered, gaps that still needed to be filled but those could wait; if there was one thing losing Ohno had taught him, it was being extremely patient, to the point where he didn’t even know when to stop being one and when to start moving forward.

Seeing him again though was a different matter altogether because however he wanted to be patient, he couldn’t; he simply couldn’t.

He was only slightly worried over his friends’ reactions, specifically Jun’s. Maybe it was for the better, him being the only one who was stubborn enough to have appeared on Hiro’s doorstep and ending up spending most of his time with Hiro’s wife. Hating her was one thing, but blaming her for a lot of things even after learning the truth was an entirely different matter altogether and Nino knew better than to chastise her now; he knew himself and being an ungrateful jerk was never included in his ‘bad traits’ list.

When Hiro came back from the kitchen though, his face filled with sweat and grinning, it took all of his hidden strength not to stand up and throw himself against the other man and keep him in his arms. 

The ate dinner mostly in silence besides Hiro’s numerous attempts at cracking stupid jokes and Nino found himself grinning while checking the other man fiercely from the corners of his eyes. Rika managed to throw in little stories about Hiro, those little things she knew wouldn’t hurt much for Nino to hear but despite all that, Nino couldn’t help but feel that prickle of jealousy somewhere from deep within his chest. 

He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from watching them, from feeling entirely like an intruder for sitting there; Hiro’s movements were as natural as his smiles, he moved as if he always belonged here and all throughout the whole dinner, Nino was torn between leaving the place and crying. He wished there was some other way to make it easier and the thought of knocking the other man hard on the head to maybe make him remember appealed to him sometime in the middle of Hiro’s second serving of chahan and chuckling as he imagined Jun’s horrified face once he told him all about it.

Well, that’s just easier said than done because no matter how cruel he seemed to other people, he could never, ever do something like that to Ohno. He’d probably just wait for him to gain his memories back naturally, on his own time, than do something as silly as that. 

But he’ll probably resolve into doing that once he’s run out of other options. It’s always a good thing to have a backup plan anyway.

#

“I’m really sorry guys,” Hiro grumbled in between yawns, barely able to keep his eyes open as the three of them took their chattering back to the family’s living room. Nino had politely excused himself for about five times since they finished dinner, but Rika always found something interesting to say that would force Nino to stay, at least for a few minutes more or so. Hiro’s surprisingly a good host, running back to the kitchen after around two hours of talking and serving them tea and snacks while he made sure to include himself in the conversation by humming in agreement while his gaze was glued in the coffee table in front of them. Another hour had passed and Hiro’s already on the verge of falling asleep (not that Nino found it strange since his Ohchan was usually asleep by this time if he’s home and not fishing and knowing that even with his memory gone, Hiro still do the things that makes him Ohno), stood up and mumbled his apologies. “I’m going to bed now and no, Nino-chan, please stay…” he said, quickly motioning his hand when Nino stood up at the same time. “you better sleep here since it’s already very late. I’ll bring out an extra futon and I’ll put in the guest room. Rika can show you where that room is…”

Rika chuckled. “Don’t just throw it down, okay? And please make sure you crawl back to your room because we aren’t that strong to carry you there. Am I right, Ninomiya-san?”

Nino made a vague noise from the back of his throat, completely missing the second layer meaning of what she just uttered and opened his mouth like he was about to argue but Hiro waved his hand and smiled sleepily back at him. “I really think I should go… my friends are probably ~”

“mail them and tell them you’re here,” Hiro said through another yawn, cutting him off. “they know this place, they can pick you up in the morning if they like… I’ll go now and you two,” he paused and waved his fingers, like he’s still thinking what he was about to say and when nothing came out, he shook his head. Nino wasn’t able to stop himself from grinning. Even when he really felt like poking Hiro’s cheek just to keep him awake, so he could be able to still talk to him.

“we’ll go to sleep in a bit. You go ahead, you big baby…” Rika managed with a smile and Nino looked down and bit his tongue. He really should stop feeling all wound up to every goddamn word that came out of her lips because he knew she couldn’t help it; there was no need for her to choose her words just to spare him of the pain he’d probably used to by now but she did, at least that’s what it felt like. 

Hiro turned after making a face behind her and started shuffling towards the direction of their bedroom. Nino remained still for quite a long moment before he himself turned to face Hiro’s wife.

“I really don’t think I should… w-well, I’ll guide you to room first and then I’ll go… I bothered you enough for one night and I don’t think~”

“I’m sure he’d be asleep after about ten minutes,” she said then, entirely ignoring his words and completely missing his point. Nino grimaced quietly and sighed. “don’t you want to stay a bit longer to, you know,”

No, he didn’t know what the hell she’s up to and Nino stared unblinking back at her, his mouth gaping open as he watched her stood up and held her hands out, reaching for him. Nino felt vaguely stupid as he reached back and she clasped her fingers against his own cold ones, chuckling as she lead them both forward.

He wasn’t that surprised to find out that she knew where to go; this was their home after all, he thought as he followed her lead, only pausing when he was sure they were about to bump into something she probably didn’t have any idea was in their way and winced quietly when his hip collided against a sharp corner. She stopped in front door of the first room.

“This is our room,” she said, nudging at Nino and Nino immediately understood as he reached over and opened it for her. He stopped though when he realized, despite the darkness around the room, Hiro was nowhere in sight. Instead, it was Ryuta who was occupying the bed with his thumb shoved inside his mouth and snoring lightly. 

“H-Hiro-san is not here,” Nino found himself whispering just as Rika let out a soft laugh and nodded. “I guess he did fell asleep in the guest room, ne?” the only response he got from her was another smile before she turned and (even he himself couldn’t believe it) dragged him towards the next door. 

“the last door’s the door to the guest room,” she said, nudging him again; there was something in the way she smiled then that made him feel like she wanted to say something but opted on keeping her mouth shut; like she wanted to really say it but at the same time, she wanted it to find out for himself and that made him feel ridiculous because… 

“and this one’s the door to Hiro’s room,” 

Huh?

He probably gone deaf, he wasn’t sure, but then she was speaking again and nudging him to open the door at the same time; he did reach over and turned the knob as if he’s on autopilot and what he saw almost stopped his heart from beating, almost rendering him unconscious if not for the steady grip she had on his arms.

“he’s asleep, isn’t he? I bet you, his mouth is hanging open and he’s snoring…” she said, giggling and Nino didn’t know what the fuck he was supposed to respond to that. He let his eyes wander before him, the familiar and yet unbelievable feeling of seeing the other man’s sleeping form after all these time washed over him. 

“I d-don’t understand,” he muttered, utterly confused; she patted her again and Nino was momentarily brought back to the time when he thought he could hurt her the same way she hurt him. But no one prepared him for this; for her surprisingly unexpected understanding and her seemingly endless ways of catching him off guard.

He didn’t know if there was anything after this that would surprise him more and if there was, Nino kind of prayed she wouldn’t chose on revealing it tonight because he’s not sure if his heart was still up for anything more shocking than this. He didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to bother her for something he knew would only hurt him further but she seemed to have fully understand him, smiling and patting him on the arms as she told him what he thought he didn’t want to hear. 

“ – this has been his room ever since me and my son came home and I didn’t bother changing it because somehow, I knew this day will come. He didn’t try questioning it either and I knew for a fact that despite losing all of his memory, his subconscious is aware that he’s living a life that isn’t his. But despite all of that, he never once asked me or questioned me and just continued on living with us, taking the role of my husband and my son’s father without even a second thought. He’s a good man, Ninomiya-san, and I’m so glad to have been given the privilege to live with him, to spend a lot of good times with him, even if that meant taking away the time you supposed to have spent with him in return and for that, I am sorry…”

There was a long beat before Nino was allowed to breathe properly, the two of them standing in the doorway as he was still in the middle of absorbing everything in. Rika was crying quietly beside him while he fought the urge to wrap her in his arms and cry with her, his barely-there-anger melting quickly without him noticing it. 

“b-but…”

“he’s not mine,” she said in a small voice, “he never was and he never will be. He may have lost his memories, may have made new ones with us but even then, we both knew that everything was just temporary…” 

“Rika-chan,” he started again, gripping her hand and wanting so badly to ask her now; he wanted to know, wanted to stop all of those nagging questions. 

“I know,” she said with a sad smile, tugging his hand and pulling him along with her. “I’ll tell you everything that I know, and the rest you have to find out for yourself…” she said and if that didn’t confuse him more, he didn’t know what would anymore.

#

He stepped inside the room, reeling at the possibility of finally being able to stay close to the other man after so long. He wondered briefly how the man managed to change and still stayed the same in the span of two years he didn’t see him; how his skin turned golden under the moonlight that was filtered through his glass window, the way his eyes fluttered against his cheek and the way his mouth closed and parted as he breathed. 

Some minutes ago, he never thought he’d be able to stand so close to him like this but after hearing most of the important bits straight from Rika’s lips, he knew this was the start. 

After the ‘talk’ they had, Rika asked him to escort her back to her and her son’s room before she told him, in a seemingly teasing tone, will you please check Hiro – oh, Ohno-san for me, Ninomiya-san? 

He didn’t know if he was still capable of saying something then, so he just reached over and hugged her so tight then moved to drop a lingering kiss on top of her head while he murmured his thank you’s against her hair. 

She’s really one of a kind and he couldn’t help but be glad that she was the one to take care of Ohno when he couldn’t, because she’s one, amazing woman.

She was a kind-hearted woman, brave and Nino was grateful for her; it was all he could do not to forgive her, most especially after she told him the story behind all of these. He didn’t know if it was possible for something as bizarre as that to happen but it did and it somehow made him utter a grateful prayer to whomever god that saved Ohno that day.

She had managed to at least supplied him with enough information about how Hiro’s parents found Ohno two years ago in the port near their small boat, hands clinging for dear life against a piece of chopped wood he must have found before the waves washed him towards where they found him. Hiro’s parents were the ones who nursed Ohno back to life while Rika was still recovering in a hospital somewhere in Tokyo.

“ – w-what happened to you anyway?” Nino asked then, suddenly interested to her very own story, because he was sure something must have happened first before Ohno came into the picture. He probably hit the nail in the head because then she’d gone really silent, choking her sobs and he let her, reaching out to rub her shoulders affectionately for silent support.

Then, “ – my husband took me out that night for dinner,” she started, wiping her tears with the back of her palm. “ – to celebrate our third year anniversary. It was raining that night and Hiro was a little drunk… we were talking and laughing and the next thing I saw was that blinding light and Hiro was screaming my name, and then I felt his arms around me, hugging me tightly and telling me he loves me and my son before he pushed me out of the car. When I woke up, it was a week after and my eyes are bandaged. I asked about Hiro and they told me he’s just in the other room, also recovering. But they wouldn’t let me come visit him; they told me he hit his head pretty badly and because of that, he couldn’t remember some things. But they said he’s okay, that I could go home once I’ve recovered fully…”

Nino wasn’t able to stop himself from pulling her into a tight embrace, cradling her the minute he realized what really happened. “ – oh my god… they didn’t tell you that your husband was ~”

“ – dead. Yes, they made me believe that he was okay… that he’s alive… actually, they planned on telling me after my rehabilitation but they were afraid I wouldn’t be able to take it lightly s-since, since I’ve also lost our second child because of that accident…”

“ – oh god,”

“ – three months after that, they found him and after realizing that he doesn’t remember a thing about himself, they decided to keep him.”

He made her stop then, knowing that the rest was exactly how it was written on the report Gori-san provided them a few nights before. Probably the only thing that’s missing now was Hiro’s parents’ reasons as well as her own. But knowing that it was hard enough re-telling the story while she didn’t know what will happen after, Nino didn’t push through and just politely asked her that it was enough, for now.

Nino’s fingers itched to touch him, to feel him; rest his head over the other man’s chest and stay there just so he could hear and feel his heart beat. It shouldn’t be this hard; shouldn’t be this painful just watching him because he’s there, just within his reach and he couldn’t even do more than imagine how glorious and wonderful it’d be to feel the other man’s arms around him once again. 

Clutching his hand against his chest, he felt a sudden twist deep inside him that didn’t have anything to do with pain, at least not anymore.

“ – Satoshi,”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

He didn’t realize he was shaking until he was standing at the edge of Hiro/Ohno’s bed and his knees buckled when he tried to kneel down, just near enough to watch the other man. He stifled a groan by slapping a hand over his mouth and allowing himself to slide down the floor quietly, all the while never leaving the other man’s face as he folded his legs underneath him.

There were so many emotions hitting him all at once, every single one of them striking him stronger than the first and Nino found himself curling into himself until he was calm enough not to wake the older man. 

He resisted the urge to crawl beside him, to lay there and curve himself against the older man’s side like the way he used to; he missed the way Ohno’s hands would find his when he’s close enough, because no matter how deeply asleep Ohno was, he’s always been able to wake up when he felt Nino sliding next to him.

“Hi O-Ohchan,” he murmured, mostly to himself and let out a watery smile when Hiro/Ohno stirred, moving to his side until he was facing Nino. Nino knew he wouldn’t be able to resist anymore as he sniffed quietly and wiped the tears off his face before he kneeled up and walked his way near Hiro/Ohno’s bed. Something twisted inside him when Hiro/Ohno’s jaw slackened, and he was momentarily stunned at how badly he missed how dumb Ohno looked like when he’s sleeping like this. Letting out a muffled laugh, he bent down until his face was barely an inch away from the older man’s own, their lips almost touching and he could practically inhale Ohno’s every breath.

There’s a gasping sound he needed to stifle as he reached to touch Hiro/Ohno’s chin with the tips of his fingers at the same time he closed his eyes as fresh pool of tears fell down his face, instantly pulling back when the man very clearly uttered ‘N-Nino’ a few times before his breathing evened out.

He just wished he could somehow enter Ohno’s dreams so he could tell him not to worry, because he’s there, watching him, and that he’s never letting him go this time around.

“I love you so much,” he croaked, his chest felt somewhat lighter than ever but his brain wouldn’t cooperate much as the thought of literally grabbing the older man and runaway was too strong that he had to remind himself that this was real, that he’s just here and wasn’t going anywhere. “S-Satoshi…”

A deep, calming breath and Hiro/Ohno muttered – ‘Kazu, I love you,’ the words reaching Nino’s ears a bit late and for a moment, Nino stood unblinking before he found himself sobbing quietly against Hiro/Ohno’s bed, holding the tips of Hiro/Ohno’s fingers as he let his emotions go, muttering, ‘I’m here, I’m here’ quietly under his breath. 

#

“And you think we should believe her?” Jun muttered acidly, his lips quivering and his eyes were burning in a way so scary that not even his half-hearted attempt to calm their youngest friend was enough to calm himself in return. 

Nino leaned back, arms still crossed tightly across his chest and with as much determination he could muster, he nodded. “I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t,” he replied, completely ignoring the way Jun clutched and un-clutched his fingers and the fact that he’s currently letting out an almost muffled growl from the back of his throat in a clear mixture of anger and pain. 

He still couldn’t understand why Jun thought it was stupid of him to actually like Hiro’s wife, even after he’d narrated her side of the story; maybe it was best to have waited for the result of the final investigations before he told them but he knew his patience started running out the day Ohno unexpectedly appeared in front of him for him to be able wait that long.

“Do you want me to enumerate some, then?” Jun bit back angrily, leaning forward but wasn’t able to move much because he was still wrapped around Aiba’s long arms, keeping him in place. 

Sho threw them both an exasperated look before the older man moved to place a hand on top of Nino’s shoulder. “As much as I wanted to jump in sheer happiness after hearing that, Nino, I think Jun is right,” he said, squeezing Nino’s shoulder and looking like he’s debating between convincing Nino and dragging Jun to the ocean to maybe cool him off. Nino stood perfectly still, was trying hard to breathe evenly because he didn’t know what the fuck was wrong for them to chastise him like this. 

“I don’t know why you think that,” he said, moving back into his usual slouch position when Sho took his hand back and sighed. Nino let out a deep breath of his own, suddenly feeling so tired about this whole thing. “if you know something ~ anything,” he paused, shifting his gaze onto Aiba and found himself nodding when the taller man smiled sadly back at him. “Shouldn’t you be telling me about it so I could be able to understand as to why in hell you think Hiro’s wife is the evil witch in disguise?” he stated quite dryly which earned him a round of amused snorts from the other three. But Nino’s too tired to be humoring them and frankly, he thought this was just getting too dramatic for his taste.

Nino never expected this kind of reaction from them, not after how stupidly giddy he was coming home that morning and waking them up with the aroma of his ‘breakfast special’ and telling them about the things he found out the night before while the other three were busy inhaling the food he prepared.

Jun’s immediate reply to his ‘we thought wrong, she doesn’t have anything to do with it’ was a startling, “I knew you’re a fool, but I didn’t know that you’re also somewhat dumber than Aiba-chan at times,” in a completely straight face that left Nino gaping.

So, okay, there must be something missing there, like, he didn’t know, maybe Jun was still drunk and had gone deaf because there was no way he’s going to react like that if he understood every single word Nino uttered. But Jun was looking at him like he’s the one who’s gone insane, swallowing what was left of the food he had stuffed into his mouth and leaning back defensively.

Aiba and Sho quickly followed Jun’s stance and Nino was rendered momentarily stunned as he watched them one by one while he tried to pinpoint exactly what he said that made them react that way.

Sho chuckled dryly. “I just, well, we just think it’s safer not to trust her fully until we’re sure that she’s handing Satoshi back. Isn’t that the normal thing to do?” he said with a wave of his hand, a movement Sho learned to execute whenever he’s still in the middle of his inner battle with himself and Nino learned to read the older man the same way he did when it comes to the other three. And right now, Nino was quite sure there was more to that subtle little movement than what Sho wanted him to see. 

Nino shook his head in disbelief. “Were you even listening to me?” he asked, annoyed. “Didn’t you just hear what I said? She doesn’t have anything to do with it! She’s just~”

Jun growled. “You don’t know that!” he said, his gaze turned sharp and dark that Nino was sure he was burning a hole through his skull with the way Jun stared him down. “Stop defending her because in the end, you don’t know what she’s plotting behind those sweet little smiles and faked tears. Don’t be so stupid, Nino.”

Nino barked an almost hysterical laugh, throwing his hands in the air in resignation. “I.. I don’t really know what the fuck is happening here but you’re just confusing me more and more. She’s not… she’s not like that, okay? She wouldn’t… she…” he paused, breathed and ended up gaping when Jun wordlessly fetched his phone from his pocket and pressed before plastering it against his right ear.

“Gori-san, hello,” he said, eyes not leaving Nino’s and Nino was rendered confused for what seemed like the 10th time that hour. His shock must’ve been showing up in his face because Jun’s expression softened in an instant and then he was putting the phone on speaker mode and placing it down the table, “could you please tell us where you are right now?” he asked aloud and Nino found himself shifting his gaze between Jun’s face and the phone in front of them. 

“ – the hell is this?” he muttered in between gritted teeth, feeling a hand settled at the small of his back, rubbing insistently as if letting him borrow the strength he needed. 

A crackling sound and then the familiar voice of Jun’s PI filled the silence between them. “I’m standing in front of Matsuda-san’s house,” he said, his voice sounded distant and hurried. Nino furrowed his brows and opened his mouth to maybe say something when Gori-san started speaking again. “I’ve been here since Ninomiya-san left this morning and, w-well,”

That statement made Nino frown, whipping his head towards Sho. “What the fuck is this?! You have me followed without even~”

“It’s not like that~” Sho insisted, at the same time Jun grumbled, “Yes we did and we’re not sorry so get over it.” then, “Tell us what you saw, Gori-san,” Jun followed with an almost imperceptible stare that made Nino shudder. 

Nino bit his tongue, digging his fingernails against his palm while he tried his hardest not to jump over and claw Jun’s eyes out. His brain seemed to be working overtime, in between focusing his attention to Jun’s phone and Sho’s hand rubbing soothingly up and down his back and imagining wrapping his hands around Jun’s pretty neck all at the same time. 

Another seemingly long pause before he heard the older man cleared his throat noisily from the other line, and then,

“A van came around fifteen minutes after Ninomiya-san left… a man I recognized to be Matsuda-san’s older brother came out from the van, together with their parents,” he said, voice filled with unspoken hesitancy that caused another shiver running up Nino’s spine. “Then another twenty minutes passed before they came out, leading Matsuda-san and his family to the van with bags and possibly~”

Nino’s eyes widened, his breathe came out raggedly as Sho’s hand found his at the same time he scrambled for something to hold on to.

No way. There was no way she’s… but, this? 

Nino was gasping for breath by the time Jun spoke up again. “ – LEAVING.” Jun said, completely stealing the word straight from Gori-san’s mouth. There was a spark of something dangerous on Jun’s eyes that made him tremble as the corner of their youngest friend’s mouth curled bitterly. “She knew who you were, Nino. She knew exactly what you came there for and she used your vulnerability against you. She’s not what you think she is, Nino. Whatever she told you, those are all lies… oh, probably some of it was true, if only to make her words more believable.”

Nino shook his head in disbelief. “That can’t be true… s-she.. s-she promised she’d… Satoshi… h-he’s.. w-we need to…” by this time, everything started overlapping in his head; her words, her promises and the lingering feeling of finally being able to hold Ohno’s hand and the fact that even though he’d wanted to believe her, this certainly was something he’d never expected. Everything seemed disjointed and blurry and Nino felt himself falling, dizzy and unsure of what he should do next.

Jun stood up then, Aiba following closely behind him; there’s a lump in his throat he needed to swallow, biting back his tears as it threatened to spill out most especially when Aiba moved behind him and wrapped him carefully, tightly in his arms. Jun placed a hand on top of Nino’s head, messing his hair and quietly conveying his support by doing so. Nino sniffed, biting his lower lip and blinking slowly.

“I want full details on this one, Gori-san. If you have to follow them to the ends of the earth, do it! We’re not letting them take our Leader out of our sight from now on. Tell your people exactly that and make sure to send me updates.” Jun grumbled, reaching over to snap the phone shut but stopped short when Gori-san very clearly gasped in a sharp breath. The four of them exchanged looks before shifting their gazes on the phone still lying at the center of the table. “Something wrong, Gori-san? Hello?”

“A report came in just now,” Gori-san followed after another long beat and Nino was bracing himself without him even realizing it. “Five tickets are bought using Matsuda-san’s brother’s credit card just a few minutes ago,” he said with a barely concealed anger that made Nino wonder for a fleeting moment if this was Gori-san they were actually talking to and not Ohno’s father. But then the older man’s words crept their way to his brain and for a moment, Nino thought he was going to collapse at the sheer intensity of the situation especially when Gori-san followed his statement with,

“Looks like Matsuda-san’s family is leaving for America tonight,”  
He didn’t realize he was shaking until he was standing at the edge of Hiro/Ohno’s bed and his knees buckled when he tried to kneel down, just near enough to watch the other man. He stifled a groan by slapping a hand over his mouth and allowing himself to slide down the floor quietly, all the while never leaving the other man’s face as he folded his legs underneath him.

There were so many emotions hitting him all at once, every single one of them striking him stronger than the first and Nino found himself curling into himself until he was calm enough not to wake the older man. 

He resisted the urge to crawl beside him, to lay there and curve himself against the older man’s side like the way he used to; he missed the way Ohno’s hands would find his when he’s close enough, because no matter how deeply asleep Ohno was, he’s always been able to wake up when he felt Nino sliding next to him.

“Hi O-Ohchan,” he murmured, mostly to himself and let out a watery smile when Hiro/Ohno stirred, moving to his side until he was facing Nino. Nino knew he wouldn’t be able to resist anymore as he sniffed quietly and wiped the tears off his face before he kneeled up and walked his way near Hiro/Ohno’s bed. Something twisted inside him when Hiro/Ohno’s jaw slackened, and he was momentarily stunned at how badly he missed how dumb Ohno looked like when he’s sleeping like this. Letting out a muffled laugh, he bent down until his face was barely an inch away from the older man’s own, their lips almost touching and he could practically inhale Ohno’s every breath.

There’s a gasping sound he needed to stifle as he reached to touch Hiro/Ohno’s chin with the tips of his fingers at the same time he closed his eyes as fresh pool of tears fell down his face, instantly pulling back when the man very clearly uttered ‘N-Nino’ a few times before his breathing evened out.

He just wished he could somehow enter Ohno’s dreams so he could tell him not to worry, because he’s there, watching him, and that he’s never letting him go this time around.

“I love you so much,” he croaked, his chest felt somewhat lighter than ever but his brain wouldn’t cooperate much as the thought of literally grabbing the older man and runaway was too strong that he had to remind himself that this was real, that he’s just here and wasn’t going anywhere. “S-Satoshi…”

A deep, calming breath and Hiro/Ohno muttered – ‘Kazu, I love you,’ the words reaching Nino’s ears a bit late and for a moment, Nino stood unblinking before he found himself sobbing quietly against Hiro/Ohno’s bed, holding the tips of Hiro/Ohno’s fingers as he let his emotions go, muttering, ‘I’m here, I’m here’ quietly under his breath. 

#

“And you think we should believe her?” Jun muttered acidly, his lips quivering and his eyes were burning in a way so scary that not even his half-hearted attempt to calm their youngest friend was enough to calm himself in return. 

Nino leaned back, arms still crossed tightly across his chest and with as much determination he could muster, he nodded. “I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t,” he replied, completely ignoring the way Jun clutched and un-clutched his fingers and the fact that he’s currently letting out an almost muffled growl from the back of his throat in a clear mixture of anger and pain. 

He still couldn’t understand why Jun thought it was stupid of him to actually like Hiro’s wife, even after he’d narrated her side of the story; maybe it was best to have waited for the result of the final investigations before he told them but he knew his patience started running out the day Ohno unexpectedly appeared in front of him for him to be able wait that long.

“Do you want me to enumerate some, then?” Jun bit back angrily, leaning forward but wasn’t able to move much because he was still wrapped around Aiba’s long arms, keeping him in place. 

Sho threw them both an exasperated look before the older man moved to place a hand on top of Nino’s shoulder. “As much as I wanted to jump in sheer happiness after hearing that, Nino, I think Jun is right,” he said, squeezing Nino’s shoulder and looking like he’s debating between convincing Nino and dragging Jun to the ocean to maybe cool him off. Nino stood perfectly still, was trying hard to breathe evenly because he didn’t know what the fuck was wrong for them to chastise him like this. 

“I don’t know why you think that,” he said, moving back into his usual slouch position when Sho took his hand back and sighed. Nino let out a deep breath of his own, suddenly feeling so tired about this whole thing. “if you know something ~ anything,” he paused, shifting his gaze onto Aiba and found himself nodding when the taller man smiled sadly back at him. “Shouldn’t you be telling me about it so I could be able to understand as to why in hell you think Hiro’s wife is the evil witch in disguise?” he stated quite dryly which earned him a round of amused snorts from the other three. But Nino’s too tired to be humoring them and frankly, he thought this was just getting too dramatic for his taste.

Nino never expected this kind of reaction from them, not after how stupidly giddy he was coming home that morning and waking them up with the aroma of his ‘breakfast special’ and telling them about the things he found out the night before while the other three were busy inhaling the food he prepared.

Jun’s immediate reply to his ‘we thought wrong, she doesn’t have anything to do with it’ was a startling, “I knew you’re a fool, but I didn’t know that you’re also somewhat dumber than Aiba-chan at times,” in a completely straight face that left Nino gaping.

So, okay, there must be something missing there, like, he didn’t know, maybe Jun was still drunk and had gone deaf because there was no way he’s going to react like that if he understood every single word Nino uttered. But Jun was looking at him like he’s the one who’s gone insane, swallowing what was left of the food he had stuffed into his mouth and leaning back defensively.

Aiba and Sho quickly followed Jun’s stance and Nino was rendered momentarily stunned as he watched them one by one while he tried to pinpoint exactly what he said that made them react that way.

Sho chuckled dryly. “I just, well, we just think it’s safer not to trust her fully until we’re sure that she’s handing Satoshi back. Isn’t that the normal thing to do?” he said with a wave of his hand, a movement Sho learned to execute whenever he’s still in the middle of his inner battle with himself and Nino learned to read the older man the same way he did when it comes to the other three. And right now, Nino was quite sure there was more to that subtle little movement than what Sho wanted him to see. 

Nino shook his head in disbelief. “Were you even listening to me?” he asked, annoyed. “Didn’t you just hear what I said? She doesn’t have anything to do with it! She’s just~”

Jun growled. “You don’t know that!” he said, his gaze turned sharp and dark that Nino was sure he was burning a hole through his skull with the way Jun stared him down. “Stop defending her because in the end, you don’t know what she’s plotting behind those sweet little smiles and faked tears. Don’t be so stupid, Nino.”

Nino barked an almost hysterical laugh, throwing his hands in the air in resignation. “I.. I don’t really know what the fuck is happening here but you’re just confusing me more and more. She’s not… she’s not like that, okay? She wouldn’t… she…” he paused, breathed and ended up gaping when Jun wordlessly fetched his phone from his pocket and pressed before plastering it against his right ear.

“Gori-san, hello,” he said, eyes not leaving Nino’s and Nino was rendered confused for what seemed like the 10th time that hour. His shock must’ve been showing up in his face because Jun’s expression softened in an instant and then he was putting the phone on speaker mode and placing it down the table, “could you please tell us where you are right now?” he asked aloud and Nino found himself shifting his gaze between Jun’s face and the phone in front of them. 

“ – the hell is this?” he muttered in between gritted teeth, feeling a hand settled at the small of his back, rubbing insistently as if letting him borrow the strength he needed. 

A crackling sound and then the familiar voice of Jun’s PI filled the silence between them. “I’m standing in front of Matsuda-san’s house,” he said, his voice sounded distant and hurried. Nino furrowed his brows and opened his mouth to maybe say something when Gori-san started speaking again. “I’ve been here since Ninomiya-san left this morning and, w-well,”

That statement made Nino frown, whipping his head towards Sho. “What the fuck is this?! You have me followed without even~”

“It’s not like that~” Sho insisted, at the same time Jun grumbled, “Yes we did and we’re not sorry so get over it.” then, “Tell us what you saw, Gori-san,” Jun followed with an almost imperceptible stare that made Nino shudder. 

Nino bit his tongue, digging his fingernails against his palm while he tried his hardest not to jump over and claw Jun’s eyes out. His brain seemed to be working overtime, in between focusing his attention to Jun’s phone and Sho’s hand rubbing soothingly up and down his back and imagining wrapping his hands around Jun’s pretty neck all at the same time. 

Another seemingly long pause before he heard the older man cleared his throat noisily from the other line, and then,

“A van came around fifteen minutes after Ninomiya-san left… a man I recognized to be Matsuda-san’s older brother came out from the van, together with their parents,” he said, voice filled with unspoken hesitancy that caused another shiver running up Nino’s spine. “Then another twenty minutes passed before they came out, leading Matsuda-san and his family to the van with bags and possibly~”

Nino’s eyes widened, his breathe came out raggedly as Sho’s hand found his at the same time he scrambled for something to hold on to.

No way. There was no way she’s… but, this? 

Nino was gasping for breath by the time Jun spoke up again. “ – LEAVING.” Jun said, completely stealing the word straight from Gori-san’s mouth. There was a spark of something dangerous on Jun’s eyes that made him tremble as the corner of their youngest friend’s mouth curled bitterly. “She knew who you were, Nino. She knew exactly what you came there for and she used your vulnerability against you. She’s not what you think she is, Nino. Whatever she told you, those are all lies… oh, probably some of it was true, if only to make her words more believable.”

Nino shook his head in disbelief. “That can’t be true… s-she.. s-she promised she’d… Satoshi… h-he’s.. w-we need to…” by this time, everything started overlapping in his head; her words, her promises and the lingering feeling of finally being able to hold Ohno’s hand and the fact that even though he’d wanted to believe her, this certainly was something he’d never expected. Everything seemed disjointed and blurry and Nino felt himself falling, dizzy and unsure of what he should do next.

Jun stood up then, Aiba following closely behind him; there’s a lump in his throat he needed to swallow, biting back his tears as it threatened to spill out most especially when Aiba moved behind him and wrapped him carefully, tightly in his arms. Jun placed a hand on top of Nino’s head, messing his hair and quietly conveying his support by doing so. Nino sniffed, biting his lower lip and blinking slowly.

“I want full details on this one, Gori-san. If you have to follow them to the ends of the earth, do it! We’re not letting them take our Leader out of our sight from now on. Tell your people exactly that and make sure to send me updates.” Jun grumbled, reaching over to snap the phone shut but stopped short when Gori-san very clearly gasped in a sharp breath. The four of them exchanged looks before shifting their gazes on the phone still lying at the center of the table. “Something wrong, Gori-san? Hello?”

“A report came in just now,” Gori-san followed after another long beat and Nino was bracing himself without him even realizing it. “Five tickets are bought using Matsuda-san’s brother’s credit card just a few minutes ago,” he said with a barely concealed anger that made Nino wonder for a fleeting moment if this was Gori-san they were actually talking to and not Ohno’s father. But then the older man’s words crept their way to his brain and for a moment, Nino thought he was going to collapse at the sheer intensity of the situation especially when Gori-san followed his statement with,

“Looks like Matsuda-san’s family is leaving for America tonight,”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

_Looks like Matsuda-san’s family is leaving for America tonight…_

_Leaving for America…._

_Tonight…_

_Tonight…_

“Where are they now?” it was Sho’s turn to question, his own phone plastered firmly against his ear as he waited for the call to connect. “Fuck! Where the hell is Silver when you need him!”

“They’re still in the older brother’s house, probably doing the final arrangements before they leave. Don’t worry, I’m still here. I’m not letting them get away without – shit! They’re coming out,” Gori-san muttered hurriedly, the sound of his ignition starting and some more muffled cursing.

Aiba was yelling before any of them could stop him. “Can’t well call anyone to help you stop them?! The police? We can call the police, right? This is like daylight kidnapping!”

Jun and Sho shared a look of pure bewilderment before Jun grabbed the phone and started yelling as well. “Gori-san, did you hear that?! Why didn’t you inform the police?! Why didn’t you~”

“The result for Matsuda-san and Ohno-san’s DNA matching hasn’t come out yet! The police will never believe us even if~” the older man yelled, following with profanities as he was possibly off to chasing the Matsudas again and pausing when someone yelled back. 

This time, it’s Sho.

“They don’t need the fucking results!” Sho yelled in return, “they only need to see Satoshi’s face to know that! You can’t be serious, what the fuck is this! Anyone could… just, fuck, what the hell!”

Another muffled curse, a click and then the line went dead.

At that exact moment, Nino thought his heart died too.

He’s gasping before he realized it, the feeling like he was being suffocated made this all the more difficult to bear as he gripped the hand of someone who’s holding his tightly, protectively.

“Pull yourself together, Kazunari,” Jun muttered angrily, his tone was layered with so much anger that made Nino shudder despite the soothing touch of someone else’s hand across his back. He knew he’s stronger than this; stronger than all of those painful years combined but he couldn’t help but ask himself why this happened now when not even a day had passed of him thinking that finally, he’d have Ohno in his arms again. “We’re not letting them take Leader away, Nino,” Jun followed with a growl, squeezing Nino’s shoulder at the same time Aiba muffled a sob against Nino’s hair. “You have my word on that,”

He choked an almost hysterical laugh as he let the words repeat themselves in his head and knowing exactly what should be done because as much as he hated the fact that he’s acting like a complete girl, he couldn’t help but be amazed at how ridiculously easy this had been, if only he’d been smart enough not to let his emotions get in the way the first time. 

Plus the fact that all these time, he’s relying on Jun’s unbelievably love for the dramatics instead of deciding on doing things on his own the way he supposed he should have done, the minute Jun made the call that morning.

Blaming himself was one thing, but doing something about it now was an entirely different matter altogether and Nino knew damn well he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself this time if he let Ohno slip away when he’s been there, just within his reach and he did nothing to take him back just because he’s either too dumb or too scared to make the first move.

Shaking himself out of his daze, he whipped his head around and stood up with a seemingly renewed strength that left the other three stunned, gaping as he moved swiftly to the location of Jun’s car keys before reaching over to grab his own wallet and jacket.

“N-Nino-chan?”

Nino shook his head once, twice, the corners of his mouth twisting in a way so familiar that hearing Aiba’s gasp and the sound of Jun and Sho’s combined sharp intake of breath did nothing to change the expression on his face. Instead, Nino’s steely gaze went past them as he reached over to wrap his fingers around the door’s handle, his words making their way out of his mouth before he even had the time to think things over.

Not that he still needed time to think things over when he knew exactly what was needed to be done.

“If you ladies prefer waiting, sitting down here with your pretty asses while those bastards are hell bent on taking Ohchan away, well then that’s your choice,” he stated with a ridiculous amount of calmness, surprising even himself in the process before he opened the door and took one step forward. “But I’m not going to sit around and wait for another fucking call when there’s actually so much we could do to stop this…” he paused, twisting his head back and smiling, his gaze landing straight into Jun’s questioning eyes. “I know you mean well Jun-pon and hiring Gori-san’s probably the best plan you’ve ever came up with but forgive me because relying on someone who isn’t one of us wasn’t my choice - it was yours, and as much as I love seeing you smugly parade your awesomeness in the future, I think my heart wouldn’t be able to take it if they’re able to successfully transport Ohchan’s poor, sorry ass somewhere we all know he don’t want to be,” he said without pausing, smiling knowingly at the end of his speech when Jun pursed his lips thinly.

One by one, they stood up and he could have sworn he saw something glinted at the corners of Jun’s eyes before Aiba got in the way and plastered his huge self against Nino’s back. Two consecutive pats to his back and Nino felt Jun’s keys leaving the cradle of his fingers and Aiba’s muffled giggle against the curve of his neck before he pulled back, grinning.

“Masaki,” Jun called without missing a beat, eyes locked on Nino’s face as Sho pushed them all outside before locking the door behind them and throwing the keys to Aiba’s direction and the taller man caught it, a huge grin still plastered across his face. 

“Yes, Mattsun?”

A snort and then, “ – think you can beat your previous record of thirty minutes from here to the airport without getting us killed?” he asked, ignoring Sho’s incoherent mutterings and Nino’s seemingly unaffected smirk. 

“Is ten minutes okay, Mattsun?” Aiba let out a high-pitched giggle, sauntering before them and throwing himself on Jun’s newly-polished car, waving them over enthusiastically. Jun rolled his eyes.

“Jun-kun,” Sho started with a sigh just as Nino settled himself beside Aiba on the driver’s seat. 

“Are you ladies coming or not?”

“I’m driving!” Aiba hooted at the same time Jun dragged Sho forward, throwing him inside and moving in after him.

“I’m worried!” Sho muttered grimly.

#

He couldn’t help but wonder how the four of them ended up here, holding on to their seats with their stomachs bolting up their throats everytime Aiba would make a sudden turn, swerving the car dangerously and hooting loudly to himself at the same time Sho would shout something that resembled his mother’s name, pale and probably seconds away from throwing up.

Jun was able to contact Gori-san after about five minutes, cursing up and down while threatening to hunt the older man’s ass if he as much as put the phone down on them once again and asking him the exact direction to the older Matsuda sibling’s house when Gori-san informed him that they didn’t went straight to the airport but stopped by the older brother’s house instead, on the same tone. 

Nino would have laughed out loud at the sheer ridiculousness of it all, but for the life of him, he knew this would probably go down as one of the most memorable day of his life, next to that day where they went up on stage and sang A-ra-shi wearing nothing but plastic suits and shorts.

“What?! What did you say?!” Jun bit back angrily and Nino whipped his head towards his younger friend. “ – wait, I’m putting you on speaker and could you please speak louder?!”

“ – I said,” Gori-san shouted, “ – they’re traveling in two cars now! The older Matsuda’s the one driving the first car with Hiro-san and his wife. The second one’s being driven by the father, with his wife and the small boy…” 

Jun quickly asked for the cars’ details including the plate numbers and their current location with which Gori-san relayed perfectly while Nino’s pretty much trying to analyze the information they’ve just received, his brows furrowing in confusion when he suddenly realized something.

“Gori-san,” he called hurriedly, “ – did you know when they had separated? I mean, when they started traveling with two cars! And why was the boy traveling with the grandparents and not with his parents?!”

Gori-san’s reply was quick. “They stopped for gas on the way to the city… I also thought it was weird because they did stop for quite a while, with the older brother camping outside the car and making calls. After about another ten minutes or so, a small gray Mitsubishi Lancer arrived and the grandparents transferred there first. Then I saw Hiro-san’s wife stumbled outside with the boy in her arms and shouting before Hiro-san’s mother went out from the car and took the boy with her.”

Nino gasped sharply, his eyes focusing on the road ahead and smacking Aiba across the back of his head when the taller man made another sharp turn. “Where was Oh- Hiro when the parents transferred to the smaller car?”

Gori-san seemed to have thought about it for a minute before he very clearly made a seemingly frustrated sound from the back of his throat.

“Oh fuck, so that’s what the needle was for!” he exclaimed, probably making sense only to himself as Jun and Sho shouted ‘what!’ simultaneously. “ – the bastard older brother drugged him! Now I realized he must have been sleeping since they left the older brother’s house because Hi – fuck it, Ohno-san was on a wheelchair!”

Hearing that, Nino didn’t know if he was supposed to be glad that Ohno wasn’t allowing any of this, knowing the fact that he’s currently unconscious and at the same time he tried reining his anger at the reality that after all the trust he had put unto her, she went ahead and did this.

“Masaki,” Jun growled once again, “ – how long would it take for you to~”

“Jun, we’re already flying!” Sho exclaimed, looking hilariously scared as he gripped on the passenger door’s handle and shaking. 

“Where are they exactly now, Gori-san?” Nino asked, ignoring Sho’s panicked mutterings and bracing himself when Aiba grinned wickedly, winking as he stepped on the gas. 

“ – just barely 5 kilometers away from the town proper and almost 2 kilometers away from the nearest port,”

“We just passed the first – fuck, straight ahead! That’s them!” Jun shouted, his voice reverberating to the four corners of his car as his gaze went past Gori-san’s black Nissan Patrol and onto the two cars ahead of him. 

“Masaki,” Nino called, his voice hoarse and desperate. If Aiba’s grin wasn’t enough to make this journey all worthwhile, then possibly Sho’s whimpery cries in the background surely was. 

Another tricky turn, with Aiba’ s hand on the steering wheel and his tongue hanging out at the corners of his mouth like an insane puppy, he stepped on the gas and screamed wildly at the same time Nino’s phone blared to life.

Grabbing blindly for it, he didn’t even mind checking who was calling and just went straight into plastering it against his left ear with a muffled ‘hello?’, only to pull it back and stared at it as if the bloody thing was a product that came from outer space.

Because he was sure he just heard Rika’s voice on the other line, shouting and crying Ohno’s name while someone, possibly the bastard older brother, was shouting back at her in the same fevered manner.

And before Nino was able to draw out enough brain cells to actually yell something out, Aiba did something wholly amazing as he made another quick swerve to the right and passing Gori-san’s car with ease until they were probably four cars away from the car where Ohno currently was. But Aiba didn’t have enough time to act all smug because before he was able to, Nino was shouting and pointing, his face void with color as his trembling fingers gripped the phone firmly against his ear and calling out Ohno’s name.

A deafening sound, followed by a loud crash and Nino felt like every single part of him screamed as he saw Matsuda’s car flipped once, twice, before it halted to a stop with another horrific-sounding crash.

At that point in time, Nino wished he was dreaming as he stared ahead, unblinking, his tears blinding him as he tried tuning the other three’s screams in favor of drowning his own.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

“Satoshi!”

He knew he was screaming, shouting on top of his voice and his body’s moving before he could even stop himself. He was also pretty sure that he’s hearing Jun and Sho’s combined voices as they shouted his name, but he ignored them just the same as his legs kept moving, not stopping until he found himself in front of the upside-down car that their beloved leader was in.

His steps faltered once at the same time his heart seemed to have stopped beating; he was trying his best to focus his eyes though everything in front of him was disoriented and blurry. There was a smell of something that suspiciously like gasoline, gasping when his vision moved down to his feet and seeing the liquid pouring out of the upside down vehicle made him all the more dizzy. 

There was a slight movement from where he was standing, a groan that seemed to float into the air the moment he found himself kneeling down, only realizing a second too late that his body had moved again on its own.

A slight twitching of someone’s hand from the driver’s seat, the angle of the body looked entirely wrong from Nino’s viewpoint and he did everything he could not to choke at the sight.

Everything seemed to slow down from then on, his gaze shifting sideways and shaking his head; he couldn’t quite give a damn if the bastard was dead, not really, as he shifted his gaze quickly to the passenger’s seat and choked back a gasp. 

That’s when he saw them.

He was already on his hands and knees and ready to crawl his way forward, ignoring the dangerous possibility that the car could explode any moment, because fuck it, Ohno was still there and – fuck if he’s going to just stand there and do nothing but was stopped short by Sho’s voice, shouting something about ‘dangerous and don’t come closer’ even though he knew he could no longer find the strength to think about himself; not when Ohno’s there and badly needed his help.

He didn’t know which body belonged to who, because the only thing he could see was a mess of red and limbs thrown around somebody else’s body; everywhere he turned, there was blood and Nino wished he could somehow see past the grueling sight in front of him, but he couldn’t. His heart seemed to have stopped beating then, his remaining strength seemed to have left his body at the same time he realized that this must have been the end of everything.

“Nino!”

A pair of arms embraced him from behind, pulling him up and turning him around as quickly as the movement would allow him, tucking his face against a broad shoulder and dragging him few steps away from where he was crouched down before. He’s frozen still, his limbs wouldn’t move even when he forced them to, not minding the fact that even if he’s able to do exactly that, he couldn’t, if the vice-like grip Sho had on him was of any indication.

He didn’t know he was trembling, shaking so badly until Sho’s hand came up to rest firmly around the back of his neck while the other he wrapped around Nino’s waist, steadying him, grounding him. There were no tears this time, just overflowing sense of loss and nothingness as he allowed Sho’s soothing words and soft touches lulled him into calmness he knew he would never be able to possess anytime soon.

That was all there was to it and nothing more; like everything he’s been living for ended there, in that one moment and he knew there was no way he’d be able to turn around and live his life the way he used to. 

He heard Jun’s frantic voice in the background, calling, shouting, screaming and more screaming. The sounds of tires screeching, muffled noises that seemed too far away from his ears as he burrowed his face further down the crook of Sho’s neck.

The sounds of sirens from a distance startled him as he let the final pieces pierced themselves together in his head, biting back a sob when he’s able to properly focus his eyes again and hearing the sounds of people shouting and Aiba’s muffled whisperings, albeit clearly this time around.

Was he facing the end now? If he was, then why the pain?

“Nino,” 

“Paramedics are here, they’re taking them now. We’re going aren’t we, Nino?”

He’d wanted to shake his head, to tell them off because none of that mattered anymore. He saw what he saw; he didn’t need any of those crappy lies he knew they would feed him after this, like how everything would be alright and that Ohno’s going to wake up.

He wouldn’t. Not this time, no. 

He lifted his face and with his best effort, he smiled. The faces of his friends, his brothers, the faces of the people whom he trusted almost all his life were there, still backing him up, until now. “N-Nino,” Jun croaked, reaching out to grab him by the shoulder and pulled him towards his younger friend’s chest.

There was a rumbling sound coming from deep within Jun’s chest and Nino wanted to drown himself to it; Jun held him tightly, like he’s going to break apart if he as much as loosen his hold around him and Nino was glad. The solidity of Jun’s body was keeping him from completely giving in; the desire to shut everything off seemed to be the first thing that always came to mind whenever and wherever.

He imagined Ohno’s face the night before; the way he’d clung unto the older man’s fingertips while he sobbed quietly beside him. The fact that he was able to press himself closer to him, felt him breathe and heard him say his name over and over made it all the more real, now. If only he knew this was going to happen, if only he was stubborn enough not to let him go, then – 

No. 

For once, he’d wanted to put himself on Ohno’s place; imagining how it felt like being Ohno this time, to be dragged around unconscious while the rest of them fought over him like he’s some kind of a prized trophy. The fact that he still couldn’t remember his past, living someone else’s life and living it the way he was asked to; quietly, without asking why, the way they expected him to.

He couldn’t help but wonder how tiring it must have been for Ohno and for once, he’d just wished for everything to stop so Ohno could finally have the rest he truly deserved.

“O-Ohchan’s already v-very tired, Jun-kun,” he managed to murmur despite the sudden stillness around him… despite the almost blinding pain. “ – c-can’t we j-just let him rest?” he said, closing his eyes and curling his fingers against the nook of Jun’s elbow, quietly wishing he could hold Ohno for at least the last time.

There’re a lot of ‘what ifs’ and though he knew he would someday dwell on the thought of all these, of how he’d failed to recognize all the signs when they were just there, almost poking him on the face and how he was supposed to be the one to take care of Ohno but wasn’t able to, because he was too caught up with trying to lessen the pain he felt when Ohno ‘died’.

“Nino,” Sho muttered brokenly, grabbing him from Jun’s arms and taking him in his own carefully as Nino shook his head desperately, wanting nothing but to dig himself a hole and hide there for the rest of eternity, because this was just too hard and too painful and he was fairly sure he’s not gonna be able to get out from this even if he tried, most especially now that – 

“O-Ohchan, Ohchan,” he called repeatedly, desperately; the mask of bravery he’d been wearing since morning seemed to have broke apart at the thought of losing Ohno, for real this time. Every single moment he’d spent with the older man came back like a replay in his head, taunting him, torturing him even more as he tightly curled his fingers against the fabric of Sho’s shirt.

“D-Don’t say that, Nino… Leader is – f-fuck, he’s…” Jun grumbled somewhere behind him, the fierce emotion riding each and every word was enough to make him sob harder against Sho’s chest, just as Aiba pressed himself closer and muffled his own tears against Nino’s hair.

 

#

It felt like eternity, from the time the paramedics came to their rescue; they’ve been shoved far, as far away as they thought was safe enough for them to just stand back and wait before the medical team moved with ease and quickly but carefully dragged the three out of the upside down car. 

There were only the sound of Jun and Sho’s combined cursing, followed by muffled shouts coming from the medical staffs but he wasn’t able to focus his ears on those; the pounding sounds of his heartbeat seemed to have drowned all other sounds around him as he closed his eyes and tried erasing the memory of his Satoshi’s face covered in blood.

He knew he wasn’t breathing then; he couldn’t, even after considering the fact that his face was still mostly buried against Sho’s shirt and he was wrapped around the older man’s arms tightly that making even a single movement was deemed rather difficult, simply because Sho wouldn’t let him. 

Sho kept muttering words against his ears, something like ‘they’ll be fine, don’t worry about it’ and ‘no, Nino… please, no’ under his breath whenever he would twitch, wanting to twist his head around to look, to at least see what was going on then, but Sho wouldn’t let him, and at that moment, he knew.

“H-He’s dead, isn’t he?” he murmured, breathing his words directly against the juncture of Sho’s neck and shoulder, shuddering at the reality of it all exactly the same time the words were out from his mouth. Sho’s hold tightened around him, the older man’s breathing turned sharp and ragged as another strangled sound escaped Sho’s throat.

“H-He wouldn’t dare,” Sho grumbled in a voice so raw and shaky; Nino shut his eyes closed and let his tears fall freely down his face as his body shook along with it. “ – he wouldn’t dare die on us because if he do, I’ll revive him just to kill him again for you, Nino…”

He choked on a sob at the same time he felt another set of arms hugging from behind, the faint sound of somebody else’s voice prompting them to move before he felt a stinging, quick pain against his upper arm and everything blacking out around him a few seconds after.

#

He didn’t know how long he had been sleeping by the time the smell of something strong woke him up, opening his eyes to the grinning face of Aiba with a cup of steaming coffee pressed dangerously close to his mouth. He was able to at least let his eyes wander for a while before he groaned, blinking the sleepiness away and carefully pushing the cup away from his face before Aiba accidentally made one silly move and pour it all over his face; not that that’s far from happening since it surely happened before but he’s actually not in the mood to think about that now because he still felt somehow tired even though –

Slowly, he opened his eyes again and allowed his memories to come back one by one; everywhere he looked, he could see nothing but white and he was sure that that smell, aside from the distinct smell of Aiba’s coffee, belonged only to a certain place.

He’s in a hospital.

He closed his eyes again, the emotions filling him up faster than he would have wanted, because no matter how long he’d been sleeping, there was no denying the fact that when he woke up, everything would still be the same.

“You have to wake up now, Nino-chan… it’s been almost a straight twenty-four hours,” he heard the taller man say with a chuckle, along with the sound of him sipping at his coffee and Nino let out another frustrated noise, cracking an eyelid open, feeling the moisture in his eyes as he did so. “Wake up and shower or Jun-kun’s coming over in about, say, ten minutes to drag you to the bathroom himself. Because he said you’ll surely want to see leader exactly the minute you open your eyes and he’s not going to allow that since you’re still wearing your clothes from days before and you haven’t brushed your teeth and you probably stink and ~”

W-Wait, what did he just say?!

Did Aiba just say what he thought Aiba said?

There was a scramble for words before he was able to find the courage to actually command himself to think, to look past the pain and simply stared at his still grinning friend with wide eyes. Aiba seemed to be enjoying the moment, still sipping on his coffee and probably just waiting for him to actually gather enough brain cells to put his words together until he’s gasping for breath at the same time everything fell into their right places.

“MASAKI, WHERE THE FUCK IS OHCHAN?!” he shouted, all traces of sleep seemed to have drained out of his body as he jerked from the bed, limbs flying in all direction as he collared Aiba quite literally and started shaking his surprised friend, his coffee spilling in between them as he did.

Aiba opened his mouth to maybe say something but wasn’t able to because the door slammed open, revealing a surprisingly newly-showered Sho and Jun, before Nino found himself out the bed and clinging unto Sho’s arms like a lifeline.

“Sho-chan, w-where’s - i-is h-he,” he paused, his voice betraying him as memories of the incident came rushing back and the need to know exactly what he’d missed during the past hours he was sleeping was too strong that he needed to grip Sho’s elbows tightly until the older man winced.

It was Jun who took a step forward and closed a hand over Nino’s trembling own, pulling the slighter man against his body and wrapping his arms around Nino’s chest.

“He’s fine, Nino,” Jun said with the barest hint of smugness, relief and joy on his voice and Nino slumped back against Jun’s body with a sigh. “He’s still unconscious but he’s fine.. he’s just in the other room, sleeping…” 

With a quick turn, he flung himself against his youngest friend and threw his arms around Jun’s neck with a sob, all adrenaline leaving his body as he let Jun stirred him forward carefully.

#

Satoshi…

He heard that voice again, coaxing him to wake up, to open his eyes, but he couldn’t; every part of him felt heavy and fogged with numbness that even the simple motion of exhaling felt rather difficult. 

There was a tingling sensation right at the tips of his fingers, an itch he’d wanted to scratch just so he could be able to feel, in any way possible.

Come back to me… Satoshi…

Yes, he murmured to himself, wanted nothing but to hold on to that voice and never let go; he felt a gentle brush against his cheek, a press of something cold and soft against his forehead just as the numbness slowly returned.

Come back when you’re ready… I’ll be here, I won’t leave… I’ll wait for you.

Yes, he’d wanted to reply but the force of something stronger stopped him from doing anything, aside from a simple quirk of his lips. He heard the sound of collective gasps and the gentle stroking left his cheeks and moved down to the curve of his neck and then he could feel a hot wetness dribbling past his forehead down to his still closed eyes.

Tears.

He couldn’t understand why it suddenly felt like his chest was close to bursting, like he’d wanted to do something in return to whoever it was that’s hovering over him, touching him so gently as if he’s going to break and murmuring soothing words he sorely missed but couldn’t exactly pinpoint why. 

“I’ll be here when you open your eyes next time, old man,” said the voice, high-pitched and shaky, now spoken directly against his ear, soft and impossibly sweet. He tried any verbal response he could muster, but he was sure that the only sound that left his lips was a seemingly forced breath before the soothing touch returned, now stroking his cheeks ever so gently. “ – shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay… go to sleep, you need to rest… w-we’ll be here when you wake up.. I-I’ll be here, I promise…” 

“Wait for me,” he found himself whispering, though he wasn’t really sure if he’s able to let it slipped out from his lips, groaning quietly when the simple act made him ache all over. 

He heard another choked gasp and the feeling of fluttering, wet eyelashes against his cheeks made him tear up but then another voice added itself in between before he felt a stinging pain against his upper arm. 

“Yes, yes I will,” was the last thing he heard before he drifted, holding on to that promise and smiling, because he knew that it’s real….that voice, that promise…

_Wait for me._


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

He heard the news straight from Jun’s lips.

He didn’t know what to feel then, if ever he has any right to feel anything because he just couldn’t imagine how she had done it. There were too many questions, too many of them he wanted to ask but he knew he would no longer get the answers because – 

She’s dead.

Rika-chan died that day, a few hours after they were brought to the hospital. 

She died saving Ohno Satoshi.

None of them would have believed it if not for the paramedics’ statement, the staffs that rescued and brought them in. Jun told them exactly what he’s been told; that Rika died protecting Ohno, keeping him safe by strapping the then unconscious Ohno and hugging him close, thus inflicting all the damages Ohno supposed to have gotten onto herself, especially when the car flipped over because of the older brother’s apparent stupidity while driving.

He knew there’s more to it than what they were allowed to know; somewhere deep in his gut, he knew that what she did was intentional. Still, he couldn’t be so sure, but the call he received from Rika while they were chasing after them was something he could never forget. She was screaming then, and he remembered exactly what she’d said before the crash.

You’re going to have to kill me first, Nii-chan, before you can take us anywhere we don’t want to be! And you have to stop this now, because Ohno-san doesn’t belong to us; he’s not Hiro, he never was and he never will be!

He couldn’t believe it, couldn’t even bring himself to believe that she’s gone; his other three friends had been quiet since then and he didn’t even have the strength to throw the fact back at Jun’s face. 

He’d been itching to tell them he hadn’t been wrong for trusting her, because she did loved Ohno and she proved that by doing something none of them expected she’d do.

He just wished he could have at least thanked her for giving Ohno back the same thing she had promised before; thank her for all the things he wasn’t, and thank her for taking care of Ohno the best way she could.

But he didn’t know if thanking her for giving up her life just to be able to save Ohno was an appropriate thing to do, or if there’s even anything appropriate for him to do at this point because she’s gone, and anything he would have wanted to give her disappeared in the same instant.

He wished he could do something to at least make it up to her.

“We brought you something,” someone from the door muttered, breaking Nino’s line of thought as he pulled his hand back from where it previously was, gripping lightly at tips of Ohno’s fingers. “Since we know you won’t leave from that spot even if we threatened to drag you out,” Jun added. He heard a giggle that belonged to only one person, rolling his eyes when the owner of the said giggles moved to plaster his huge self against his back. 

The only thing he could do was sigh; it’s because some things really never change, not even for those people who were supposed to have matured, eventually. He felt Aiba’s grin against the back of his neck before the giggling pile moved beside him, leaning over to drop a soft kiss against their leader’s forehead.

“The doctors said they’re expecting Leader to wake up anytime soon,” Aiba mumbled, taking the place beside Nino and dropping the bento box on top of Nino’s lap. “You should eat something, Nino-chan, so you have enough strength to – you know,” he paused with a grin, giggling when Nino threw him a light jab on the rib with a scowl. He ignored Aiba and Aiba’s apparent desire to feed him, settling his gaze back to Ohno’s face and sighing deeply as he placed a hand on top of the older man’s chest, feeling its rise and fall beneath his palm.

“Jun,” he called, not taking his eyes off the man who’s still sleeping peacefully on the bed, reaching over to brush a delicate finger over Ohno’s chin and scratching lightly at the few day’s unshaved stubbles forming there. 

“Yes?”

“I-Is Rika-chan…?” he started, stopping in the middle of his sentence simply because he didn’t know which question to ask; if there was even anything he should be asking. Jun cleared his throat noisily and he spared him a glance, nodding when he realized how hard it must have been for Jun to actually swallow his mistakes and admit that he’s wrong; but they’ve been wrong a lot of times, not just Jun, and he’s not that cruel to call it out on his younger friend even if it made him insanely happy seeing Jun squirmed uncomfortably because of it. 

Still, there’s a part of him that wanted to know what’s going to happen; if they’re even allowed to take Ohno with them now that the result was out? Or, should they wait until Ohno’s awake to make the decision himself, since none of them knew whether his condition was still the same as before the accident.

“They’ll transport her body back to Okinawa tonight,” Sho answered, placing a hand over Nino’s shoulder and squeezing, letting him borrow the strength they all knew he needed. “The police had wanted to talk to you about, you know, stuffs…”

He nodded, letting his touch lingered quite firmly against Ohno’s hand this time and just basking on the feeling of Ohno’s pulse throbbing evenly against his own. 

His eyes shot up when he suddenly remembered something. “ – w-what about h-her son?” he said and he was immediately hit by a sudden rush of sadness for the boy. He’s too young to face all of this, and losing both of his parents in a separate but same accident was probably the hardest thing he’d have to endure from now.

Jun answered this time. “He’s with Rika-chan’s parents; they arrived a few hours after she died and they took him in… I, w-well, guess that’s for the better, right?”

He nodded then, “ – y-yeah, I guess so…”

“Nino,” Sho called again, as if reminding him and Nino had to look back, throwing Sho an almost awkward smile.

“What about it, Sho-chan?” he asked, seemingly unmindful of the way Sho’s gaze shifted from his and Ohno’s face. He actually didn’t have to ask because he knew; he knew exactly what Sho was talking about, but he’s not sure if he’s ready to face them, at least not yet, not now. There’s going to be a lot to talk about but the main thing, the most important thing was Ohno; he knew he wouldn’t be able to decide clearly if he’s still worried about the older man, if he’s going to even wake up, or wake up but – 

What if he still couldn’t remember him? 

“They are waiting for us to give our statements regarding the accident,” Jun said after a moment. “And also, you know, if we want to press charges to the Matsudas for~”

He shook his head instantly, not even letting Jun finished because - “We’re not pressing any charges,” he muttered grimly; the combined sounds of their gasps made it easier to tell what exactly they were thinking but Nino knew they’re not the ones to decide on that. At least that’s what he realized. “We’ll give them any statements they want, well, just the things we knew and had witnessed. Beyond that, no, I don’t think so.”

“But Nino, don’t you think it’s just right to ~”

“It’s not our place to decide on that, Jun-kun,” he bit back with a sigh, cutting Jun’s words off. “If anything, it should be Ohchan because it’s his life… and despite the fact that what they did was wrong, we still owe them a lot and you know that. We owe them Ohchan’s life and I think that’s reason enough to let this pass.”

Jun snorted disbelievingly. “They still need to be punished,” he said and Nino looked away, because he knew Jun was right, but still - “If not because of the first one, then at least for the last time, when they tried taking Leader away and almost got him killed…”

Nino shuddered at the thought, because as much as he wanted to bury that memory somewhere deep, to contradict Jun’s words and tell him he’s wrong, he couldn’t; that was just one more thing they should clarify, but not until Ohno has woken up and especially not until he’s regained his memories fully.

“I know,” he replied, letting his eyes wander around till he and Jun’s gazes locked; he smiled and nodded, trusting Jun to know what should be done now because they couldn’t let their angers ruled the best of them, not this time at least. They didn’t have to instantly jump into doing something if it would only complicate things further; the last thing they needed right now was another matter to think about besides what’s important – they all knew what’s important and that didn’t include sending anyone to jail or the likes.

He shifted his gaze back onto Ohno’s face, reveling on the warmth radiating from the older man’s body; he smiled, and for the nth time he uttered a silent prayer to whomever deity was watching over Ohno and thanking whoever it was for keeping Ohno safe all these time.

He smiled when Aiba shifted beside him to rest his face against the bed and stared up at their Leader in an expression they all knew how to interpret. Then he’s murmuring, “If Leader wakes up as Leader and not as Hiro-san, what do you guys think is the first thing he will say? Will it be fish? Or probably, ‘I’m hungry!’ ne?” Nino reached over to tweak at Aiba’s ear just to see him grin; the taller man did just that, with an addition of sticking his tongue out at him that Nino couldn’t help but grin back. At least, they still have Aiba to lighten up the atmosphere when the only thing he’d wanted to do was to shake the still unconscious Ohno repeatedly and wake him up himself just to be sure that he would.

He turned and reached to brush Ohno’s cheek with the tips of his finger, brushing his thumb over the tanned skin and he let the warmness of being able to touch Ohno like this washed him over. He was given this privilege to feel Ohno’s heart beat again, and he promised never to take anything for granted; Ohno just needed to wake up and he’d make sure to take care of him, from now and until his very last breath.

“I c-can’t wait to see you open your eyes again, old man,” he croaked, ignoring the fact that his friends were there to witness this all-too-sappy words he’s uttering; he couldn’t care less, they could tease him about it for all the years to come and he wouldn’t give a damn, as long as he’s given the chance to bury his face against the crook of Ohno’s neck, to be able to dig his nose into that soft patch beneath Ohno’s ear as he breathed.

He tried hiding his tears, ducking down to rest his face lightly on top of Ohno’s arm; it had been almost a day and the doctors came at least three times to check on Ohno, nodding to themselves and telling them not to worry because he’s still mostly just sleeping, trying to regain his strength by doing so. But he couldn’t help but feel agitated with every passing hour, not knowing when the older man was going to open his eyes and –

“N-Nino,” Aiba called, tapping him lightly on the back. Nino wriggled and grunted, suddenly annoyed, because how could he not? He’s still trying to pull himself back together and he didn’t want to get cranky just because Aiba couldn’t keep his teasing for later. He kept his face buried against Ohno’s arm, ignoring Aiba and his continued tapping because he knew what he’d do and being poked fun when he’s actually trying to keep himself from sobbing out loud was something he couldn’t tolerate, at least not at the moment.

“N-Nino-chan,” Aiba continued in a whisper and Nino shoved him, face still half buried against Ohno’s arm. 

“Quit it, Masaki,” he hissed, voice trembling; it’s probably one of those days where Aiba’s stupidity was at its highest, but he’s really not in the mood for anything right now and the last thing he wanted was – 

“OHMYGOD.” Jun and Sho muttered simultaneously and Nino had to, couldn’t not, raised his head and twisted around immediately to see what was happening.

He was greeted by a pair of almond, dark eyes looking back at him, longing and recognition written all over them.

“Kazu,” was the first word that slipped out from his mouth, his voice sounding clogged and raspy but hearing the all-too-familiar voice, something in Nino’s heart broke; he stared and stared, the smile stretching across the man’s face had made it even harder for him to form any coherent thought besides letting out an almost strangled whimper from the back of his throat. His vision turned cloudy, his fingers started gripping blindly for the sheet as he straightened his back, eyes wide in surprise. 

“ – w-why are you looking at me like that? Did I forget to put the fishes in the fridge again?” 

“S-Satoshi?” Nino managed in a shuddery breath, letting out an almost shaky laugh when the man raised an eyebrow as his only reply. Then he tilted his head in a teasing way only he knew how, the edges of his lips curling in an almost blinding smile.

“Yes, Kazunari?” he grinned and Nino was momentarily stunned with how badly he missed hearing his name as it came from the lips of the man he had only loved.

“ – ohgod, Ohchan!” he screamed, throwing his arms around the man’s neck - and cried.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re not in pain, are you? How about your head? Your back? Are you sure there’s nothing –“

A hand settled over his and another he felt cupping at his cheeks and he stopped, closing his eyes and feeling his throat closed up with the sudden rush of too many conflicting emotions hitting him all at once; the sound of amused chuckling was drowned out by the erratic beating of his heart as the hand over his own tightened and the one cupping at his cheeks moved, not away, but only to settle tenderly down the curve of his neck.

It felt like he’s drowning, like he’s breathing underwater because he’s choking but he couldn’t understand why at the same time, he felt so alive; every part of him tingled with something he couldn’t place a name on and with his every breath came the rush of something he never thought he’d ever have the opportunity to feel again.

“Kazu,” he heard his name again, and for a moment he stopped breathing; he didn’t want to open his eyes, because he was afraid everything would disappear if he did. He shifted a little, enough to bury his nose against the hand that was cupping his cheek, muffling a cry against it and just reveling on the fact that this was real, and that he didn’t have to wonder anymore.

“Y-You’re here,” he whispered, muffling his words against the other man’s hand and feeling his chest welled up with so much happiness; he felt the bed moved a little, at the same time he felt the other man tugged him closer, using his hold against the nape of his neck to pull him towards him. 

He found himself draped over the other man’s body, jerking slightly when he realized where he actually was as he pulled back, but he was being tugged down again and a stubborn scowl made its way up to the man’s face when he tried moving free. 

He let out a seemingly shaky laugh, dropping himself back down on top of the other man’s body carefully, gently, afraid that he’d hurt him even then; the man chuckled again, tweaking lightly at his ears before he felt him dropped a kiss on top of his head as he buried his face against the man’s chest.

“ – Satoshi,”

Ohno hummed his response through his hair, breathing deeply as he kept himself still; this was probably one of those things he sorely missed, the feeling of contentment just at the simple fact that he was inside the safety of Ohno’s embrace. There were so much he’d wanted to ask, a lot of things he’d been aching to hear but he couldn’t find the voice to actually ask him all about it out now, not even over the fact that after Ohno opened his eyes, the only thing Nino did was cry, much to his friends and Ohno’s amusement.

Aiba had been the first one to throw himself at Ohno, not minding the fact that Nino was still sobbing quietly against Ohno’s neck then; with a sob of his own, Aiba stumbled over to reach Ohno, almost knocking Nino unconscious as he launched himself towards their leader. Nino had been too busy trying to stop his tears as he moved away a little, giving his band mates the chance to hug Ohno as he stood at his side, gripping at Ohno’s sleeves.

Jun and Sho followed next, but they weren’t as enthusiastic as Aiba was; Nino knew, he saw it clearly and it was obvious in the way Jun and Sho had held on to Ohno, that they were just trying to hold themselves back. There’s always a right time to discuss things over, but for now, they knew that Nino needed the time to be alone with the older man; it had been years, and as much as they wanted to stay beside their leader, they knew they have to give in. They’ve been through a lot, all five of them and though they loved Ohno as much as they loved Nino, they knew Nino needed this more than them.

Ohno’s been throwing them confused little stares, throwing Nino those questioning glances over Jun and Sho’s shoulders but he knew the others wouldn’t breathe a word about it, not unless Nino asked them to. He let out a smile then, and nodding, though he didn’t actually know what in hell he was nodding about.

After that, the other three just knowingly left them alone, promising them, Nino especially that he didn’t have to worry about Ohno’s parents because they’d personally visit them to tell them the good news and then piling out from the room one by one after giving him and Ohno three consecutive meaningful pats on the back, which he merely answered with a muffled growl and an almost grateful smile.

“Tell me something,” he heard Ohno say, feeling the older man’s fingers seeking refuge against the back of his nape as he slipped them inside the collar of his shirt; his breathe hitched at the sudden invasion, the warmth coming from the older man’s fingers was heaven on its own and he basked on it, enjoying it fully now that he’s allowed a second chance to do so.

“Hmmm?” he hummed, letting his fingers do their own exploration along Ohno’s arms, the simple touch made him ache and tremble; Ohno’s fingers stopped just at the base of his neck, stilling for a few moments before he reached down, tipping Nino’s chin up.

“Why does it feel like I’ve missed you so much?” he asked suddenly and Nino felt his breathe left his lungs in a rush; it was sudden and forceful, and he unconsciously grabbed at Ohno’s hands just to keep himself from falling apart. 

The look Ohno gave him then was filled with a thousand and more questions he probably didn’t know how to ask, locking them inside him and just letting them show through his eyes; Nino gasped at the memory of seeing that same look, not even a few nights ago when Ohno didn’t even had the slightest idea who Nino was.

“ – and you still haven’t answered my question yet,” he added, brushing Nino’s bangs away from his eyes and leaning in to press a kiss against the corner of Nino’s mouth. “Why am I here? And why were your reactions like that when I woke up? Like – like I was brought back from the dead…”

Like I was brought back from the dead.

He grinned, lifting his left hand and allowing himself the simple pleasure of feeling Ohno’s confusion melt beneath his palm as he plastered his hand against Ohno’s left cheek; Ohno was still looking at him quizzically, even when he moved his hand up to Ohno’s eyes, thumbing at Ohno’s eyebrows at the same time he leaned forward to kiss Ohno’s lips.

“ – and you’ve been doing that, that –“ Ohno mused, his voice tinged with a little irritation but his hand moved to clamp around the back of his head, keeping him in place just as Ohno kissed him back a little too fiercely.

“What?” he managed to ask, though he’s mostly trying to remind himself not to hyperventilate, to breath even though it’s really hard to try and focused himself into doing something else besides kissing Ohno back just as passionately. 

Ohno let out a growling sound from deep within his chest, pushing him back a little to give him enough space to look him in the eye; he kept a steady distance, allowing himself some breathing room as Ohno stroked his cheeks tenderly.

“ – that,” he said, gasping a little. “Kissing me that way as if I’m going to break. You’ve been doing that since, well, since after they left and it’s kind of annoying me already,” 

“Ohchan,” he started, shifting forward awkwardly at the same time he made a face when Ohno placed a steady hand over his chest, pushing him backwards with a scowl. 

Ohno arched one fine brow, “Don’t you Ohchan me, Kazunari,” Ohno mumbled, using a tone that Nino usually used on him, making Nino snort despite himself and slumping back on his seat as he crossed his arms tightly over his chest. “I want answers and I want them now. Tell me what the fuck happened to me and why the hell you guys look at me like, like how I probably looked at you when you came back from America, only a lot more different and a bit creepier.”

He tilted his head and tried his best not to look as panicked as he felt though he knew it’d only be a matter of time before Ohno figured something was really up. “I don’t really know what you’re talking about, Satoshi,” he muttered evenly, shifting his gaze somewhere, anywhere, avoiding Ohno’s eyes at all cost. 

“I’m dumb but I’m not stupid, Nino,” Ohno breathed, reaching over to take his hand. “ – look at me and tell me what’s wrong. Something happened to me, I know, I can feel it. And the four of you are obviously trying to cover something up but I’m not that dense, okay? I saw how you guys look at each other, Nino, and the fact that I’m here in the hospital and I can’t even fucking remember how the hell I ended up in here – there must have been some good explanation for this, right?”

“Ohchan,” he tried again, his voice pleading at the same time he took Ohno’s hand and kissed the back of Ohno’s palm as if in quiet apology. Ohno remained still, unmoving, and Nino wished it didn’t have to be him – 

“You guys looked different,” Ohno mused, his eyes still locked on Nino’s face; Nino did his best not to tremble and just held on Ohno’s hand, not letting it go even though it felt like he’s already squeezing Ohno’s hand a little too tightly. “ – and it’s just a few days since I went fishing, but you guys looked a lot older than how I remembered you. So tell me, it’s either I developed some kind of eye illness that makes everything I see looked older and different or something really bad happened to me that none of you wanted me to know just yet,”

There was something on Ohno’s voice that made him squirmed uncomfortably, something in the way his mouth twitched while he stared at him that made him want to cringe; but Ohno’s nothing but stubborn and he knew there was no way Ohno’s going to stop asking even if he asked him to, not when it’s so obvious that there was really something going on around him.

With all the strength he could muster, he moved forward, cradling Ohno’s hand against his chest and pulling him towards him. He could feel Ohno’s every breath, could feel him tremble slightly against him as Ohno hugged him back, muffling his words against Ohno’s hair.

“Do you remember the gift I gave you for your birthday?” he asked softly, breathing the words almost quietly through Ohno’s hair. Ohno nodded and he could feel his grin forming against the skin of his neck just as he tightened his hold around him. 

“The necklace?” he replied, “ – with our names curved into a golden fish as the pendant,” Ohno added. Nino closed his eyes, remembering the said necklace as it was placed neatly on top of their dresser, the night he came home and finding Ohno wasn’t home yet and the news about the accident – he shivered and tightened his hold around Ohno.

“That’s right,” he said just as softly, moving his hands up to run his fingers through Ohno’s hair. He cleared his throat before pressing another kiss on top of Ohno’s head, choking a little at how wonderful it felt holding Ohno like this, “ – and do you remember what I gave you the year after that?” he asked, shaking a little when Ohno slowly peeled himself away from him, looking slightly confused.

“T-The year after – w-what? B-But my birthday was just two months ago, right?” 

Nino shook his head, reaching over to brush his fingers over Ohno’s furrowed brows, wiping it as he smiled softly before leaning across to plant a kiss over Ohno’s forehead.

“Ohchan,” he whispered, swallowing back his tears just as Ohno pursed his lips and looking at him quizzically. “ – it wasn’t two months ago but over two years ago,” he said, managing to sound more than a little composed even when the rest of him was shaking. 

Ohno pushed at him, firmly but a little too weakly and Nino kept shaking his head, not wanting to let Ohno go as he pulled him back into his arms.

“If you’re joking with me, Kazu –“

“I’m not, Satoshi,” he followed abruptly, dropping little kisses all over Ohno’s face. “ – I wish I am but I’m not and I’m sorry,” he choked, catching Ohno’s lips into a deep, almost messy kiss.

Ohno stilled.

“I g-gave you a new piano f-for your twenty-eight birthday, right?” Ohno asked hesitantly. Nino nodded.

“That was two years ago,” he said, cradling the back of Ohno’s neck just as Ohno froze still in between his arms. “ – I’m already thirty years old now and you’re not thirty-one but thirty-three,”

Ohno shuddered against him. “Fuck.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

“I need help,” he murmured under his breath, gripping his phone tightly against his ear, and looking around him just to be sure that Ohno wasn’t there to spy on him. He knew it was silly of him to be doing this, but because Ohno seemed to be planning things on his own (that scheming, old mutt), he knew he had to act fast.

Nino never thought that keeping up with Ohno after years of technically losing him would turn out to be this difficult, not to mention the fact that no matter how firm he thought he was, Ohno was and always had been the one who knew just what to do to weaken Nino’s resolve, till his defenses crumbled without him even realizing it.

And without even exerting much effort on his part, much to Nino’s chagrin.

He knew how frustrating it must have been for Ohno, trying to remember the things that happened to him during those two years but couldn’t. If that were him, he was sure he was probably throwing everything he came across with in utter frustration.

Ohno hadn’t stopped asking him questions since then, and as much as he wanted to fill in the details of everything Ohno had missed, he knew he couldn’t. There was only so much he could tell him, things he only heard from Rika-chan as well as those information they got from Jun’s PI; those weren’t much, and if there was a way to compile everything and feed them straight into Ohno’s brain just to make it all better, he’d gladly do it. But because he knew he wasn’t the one to decide on that matter, he had to keep his mouth shut and resolved on waiting instead.

The only problem here was Ohno, and because the older man was the one experiencing all the frustration of having no memory of his past at all, he kind of developed some rare kind of stubbornness that mostly amused Nino if not annoyed him to some extent. 

It should be easy dealing with this thing, and Nino knew well how terribly frustrating it must have been for Ohno to wake up every goddamn morning only to be reminded of the many things he did a few days before (technically, a few years before) and couldn’t remember a single thing about them. Well at first, Ohno seemed fine with Nino’s stories about him and Arashi during his absence, even crying with him when Ohno asked him what he did that night when he wasn’t able to come home like he’d promised.

But all those changed a few days after, with Ohno suddenly feeling the urge to remember everything, asking Nino about the things he was sure Nino and the guys were still hiding from him until that very moment. 

Nino didn’t know he possessed that ridiculous amount of patience until Ohno came back and turned Nino’s world upside down, the same way he did the day he disappeared.

He knew he could endure anything, and though at this point he wasn’t sure if Ohno’s habit of pouting could still be considered cute, he couldn’t help but try his very best to indulge Ohno and his seemingly endless bout of questioning, let alone his terrible whining about this and that. Even when it’s mostly annoying to have a grown up thirty-three-year-old pouting at him just because he didn’t have the heart (or the strength) to answer all of the older man’s questions even if he wanted to.

He thought he was fine with it, up until the moment he realized Ohno was seriously considering uncovering everything on his own (well he did, especially after he caught Ohno trying to escape his hospital room with Nino’s phone plastered firmly against his ear and mumbling to whoever it was on the other line) if only to find out the things he badly wanted to know.

Not to mention the fact that for three days now, Ohno wasn’t allowing Nino to touch him 

And so he resolved on making this call, even though a part of him kept telling him that it was probably for the better if Ohno remembered everything on his own, but for the life of him, Nino couldn’t stand another fucking day without feeling Ohno’s breath and heartbeat against his skin.

“I can’t believe you managed NOT to ask for our help even though we’re all aware that you lacked the ability to make sensible decisions, most especially when it involves Leader,”

Nino couldn’t help but roll his eyes in retaliation, grunting when the man on the other end of the line had let out a seemingly teasing laugh much to Nino’s annoyance. Couldn’t he have at least a few moment of his life without anyone trying to annoy the hell out of him at every turn?

He sighed. “Well I’m asking you now so could you please stop being a jerk and help me already?”

“Fine. So tell me,” the other man asked, a whole lot serious than how he was just a few seconds ago and Nino didn’t even try hiding how worried he was, knowing that the other man could tell exactly how he was feeling. He let out another deep breath while he picked on his nails nervously. “Nino?”

“Ohchan wants to know everything there is to know about him when he went missing two years ago. Everything he did, every person he met and everything he said he knows we’re still hiding from him.” 

“And you think it’s best if we tell him all those things he wanted to know without holding back?”

Nino wanted to answer him no, but what good would it do anyway? If it were him, he was sure he would want them to tell him exactly what he missed, even if it hurts, because then at least he’d know he could still look forward to making new memories in the future knowing that he had the past relayed to him even if he couldn’t remember any of it. 

He heaved another sigh and smiled bitterly. “I think its better that way than to let him find out for himself. I want to be there when that happens, Jun; I want to be standing right next to him when we told him about the life he managed to live through during those two years we thought that he’s dead…”

A beat and Nino knew that Jun was smiling the next time he spoke. “When do you want us to come over?”

He’d thought about this over and over and he knew that no matter how hard he tried avoiding it, the inevitable was bound to happen. “Tonight,” Nino answered as he straightened up. “I’m taking Ohchan home tonight and I’ll be expecting you guys to be there by then.”

Jun made a non-committal sound from the back of his throat, “And what about Leader’s parents?”

“They’re here now, and they’re with him. They know we’re going home today –“

“Did you tell them about, you know, what their son’s been up to as well as what he wants exactly?”

Nino shrugged his shoulders, tapping his foot thoughtfully. “Yeah,” he replied. 

“And?”

“They said it’s up to me; if I think it’s for the better, they said they don’t have any objections. Just, you know, I just need to make sure that Ohchan’s not about to do something stupid, like, you know –“

Jun laughed. “Like talking to people behind our backs just to know the truth?”

Nino actually had to smile at that. “Right, and that he won’t go as far as hiring his own detective shit just to satisfy his own damn curiosity,”

Jun snorted and Nino found himself laughing despite the terribly awkward circumstances he was in. “At least he’s not the first one who thought about that.”

“I guess you’re right,” he said, frowning when he saw Ohno’s mother waving at him. “Oh and hey, I’m sorry, I have to go now… Ohchan’s Mom is calling for me. I’ll see you guys’ later okay?”

“Okay then. Bye for now Nino,”

He murmured his thanks and ended the call, then sprinted towards Ohno’s mother with a little frown. The older woman seemed to be worried about something and Nino kind of had a slight inkling to what (or to be completely honest, to who) might be the one causing it.

“Sorry Ma’am, I was just talking to my friend regarding – you know… Is there any problem?”

The Ohno matriarch simply waved her hand, reaching over to gently tweak at Nino’s ear with a little huff. Nino couldn’t help but grin in return. “How many times do I have to remind you to stop calling me that?” she said, tapping a finger against Nino’s temple; Nino was sure he was blushing hard when the older woman laughed softly and gently brushed his cheeks with her thumb. 

“I’m s-sorry, Ma’ –“

“Mother. Okaasan. Kaa-chan. Mommy. Mom… whichever you prefer, Kazunari… call me Ma’am again and I swear to god, I’ll go straight to your mother’s house and –“

“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry, K-Kaa-chan… I promise it won’t happen again! It’s just that… it’s just, w-well,” he apologized quickly, bowing his head low and stuttering in a funny, funny way that made Ohno’s mother chuckle. It’s really embarrassing but at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel that bubble of happiness from rising up to his throat just by simply knowing the fact that he’d been approved as Ohno’s companion (being dubbed as Ohno’s ‘wife or husband or boyfriend’ still made him shudder up until now) even before the accident happened.

Nino shook his head quietly and mentally reminded himself to visit his mother one of these days just to be on the safe side. He didn’t really like the idea of his and Ohno’s mother teaming up into making him blush every goddamn time.

He felt her warm hand over his shoulder and the other under his chin, tipping his face up. “It’s fine, it’s fine. But next time I hear you call me that again, I can’t promise I won’t drop a word to your mother…” she said with a little pout that completely reminded him of Ohno. He nodded and smiled back. 

“I… I w-will try my best and remember, K-Kaa-chan,”

He received a gentle pat on the head for that and Nino wasn’t able to keep himself from blushing again. And he was fairly sure that if his mother was here to witness this, he’d probably die in embarrassment right then and there. 

“Satoshi is our son as much as you are, Kazunari,” she whispered after a while and Nino was left stunned, gaping for words as he gazed back at the older woman. “And you should know that, because having you during those times we thought Satoshi is gone forever had really helped me and my family in coping up. We know how much it pained you but you never once showed us that when you’re with us and for that I am glad. And not because Satoshi is back doesn’t mean you have to go back into treating us like we’re other people.”

Nino didn’t really have anything to respond to that.

 

#

“Quit the pouting, Satoshi,” he grumbled half-heartedly at the same time he set foot inside Ohno’s hospital room and finding the older man looking out his window with a pout. There was really no hope in changing Ohno’s mind now and not even Ohno’s mother had the power to persuade her own son to just give the topic of his lost memory a rest.

Ohno pouted a bit more and Nino was vaguely reminded of those times he found this habit of Ohno so alluringly tempting; maybe one of these days, he’d make sure Ohno would pay for every single pout he made by keeping him on his hands and knees for a month.

The image was satisfyingly enticing and Nino knew it’d all be worth the patience.

“I will if you give me what I want, Kazunari..”

Nino snorted. “Fair enough,” he said, moving gingerly to the other side to retrieve his duffel bag and started stuffing Ohno’s things inside without looking up. He counted up to twenty and smiled to himself when he heard Ohno cleared his throat.

“What are you doing?” Ohno asked and Nino could clearly picture his knitted brows, hearing the one too many questions on Ohno’s voice.

“Clearing your stuffs,” he answered, mumbling to himself as he grabbed Ohno’s medicines and stuffed them inside his other bag. “You might as well go and take a shower. We’re leaving in four hours. The others are going to meet us in the apartment,” he said, finally looking up in time to see Ohno’s eyes lit up, but it was gone before he was able to comment on it and the pout returned much to his dismay. “What now?”

Ohno crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not leaving until you give me what I want,” he repeated stubbornly. 

Nino really had to exercise his patience to the extreme or he might not be able to stop himself from punching Ohno’s pretty mouth out of sheer annoyance.

“The others are meeting us at home, Satoshi… don’t you know what that means?”

It didn’t even take him a full minute before he found himself an armful of smiling Ohno, arms wrapping tightly around his waist and kissing his chin gratefully. But then he was pulling back before Nino was able to kiss him back, grunting to himself and grabbing Ohno by the arms forcefully.

God, it had been days and he sorely missed the smell of Ohno’s hair, this contact he’d been aching to feel for so long. “You’re not trying to deceive me, are you? Because I swear to God, Nino, no touch and no kiss and definitely no sex for –“

Nino wrapped a hand around the back Ohno’s nape and smacked him lightly, pulling him towards him and slamming his mouth over the older man’s own. They were both gasping hard by the time Nino pulled his lips back, but he didn’t let go and just proceeded on lazily nipping the older man’s jaw.

“Nino?”

Nino rolled his eyes. God, he’s still talking? “I’m not, okay? J-Just, please… would you just shut up for a minute and let me just kiss you? You’re so fucking annoying and I want you and god, you just don’t know how much you drive me crazy!”

Ohno wriggled in his arms and Nino wanted to just hit him then.

Only he wasn’t able to because Ohno went straight into removing his own clothes and walking backwards to the direction of the bathroom, his eyes filled with silent promises and fuck –

“Care to wash my back for me, Kazunari?”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

“The others are meeting us at home, Satoshi… don’t you know what that means?”

It didn’t even take him a full minute before he found himself an armful of smiling Ohno, arms wrapping tightly around his waist and kissing his chin gratefully. But then he was pulling back before Nino was able to kiss him back, grunting to himself and grabbing Ohno by the arms forcefully.

God, it had been days and he sorely missed the smell of Ohno’s hair, this contact he’d been aching to feel for so long. “You’re not trying to deceive me, are you? Because I swear to God, Nino, no touch and no kiss and definitely no sex for –“

Nino wrapped a hand around the back Ohno’s nape and smacked him lightly, pulling him towards him and slamming his mouth over the older man’s own. They were both gasping hard by the time Nino pulled his lips back, but he didn’t let go and just proceeded on lazily nipping the older man’s jaw.

“Nino?”

Nino rolled his eyes. God, he’s still talking? “I’m not, okay? J-Just, please… would you just shut up for a minute and let me just kiss you? You’re so fucking annoying and I want you and god, you just don’t know how much you drive me crazy!”

Ohno wriggled in his arms and Nino wanted to just hit him then.

Only he wasn’t able to because Ohno went straight into removing his own clothes and walking backwards to the direction of the bathroom, his eyes filled with silent promises and fuck –

“Care to wash my back for me, Kazunari?”

If it was any consolation, Nino found out he had more sense than Ohno even at times when he thought he could no longer bear this almost debilitating want that seemed to cloud his most sensible thoughts against his better judgment. Ohno’s looking at him in a way that made his stomach twist painfully, and his insides stir at the sight of the older man’s naked body as he stood there, not even a few steps away from him.

Nino forced out a smile and with all the strength he could muster, he turned around and reached for the two largest bags and took it without saying a word.  
“N-Nino?” Ohno called, suddenly sounding small and unsure; Nino did his best not to turn back around and do what his mind and body’s been aching to do since Ohno opened his eyes, biting the inside of his cheeks and trying hard not to imagine running his fingers across Ohno’s naked body.

Damn it.

He reached the door and with trembling fingers, he pulled it open and allowed himself one last glance at Ohno. His expression softened instantly at the sight of that unhappy frown tugging at the corners of the older man’s mouth.

“Go ahead and clean up, I’ll just take all of your things to the car before I go back to arrange your release papers. Then we’ll go downstairs to eat something before we go home and meet the others,” he said evenly, smiling a little and nodding; Ohno’s gone still and the stiff, almost awkward line of his shoulders told Nino exactly what was going on inside Ohno’s head. 

“I, N-Nino,” he called hesitantly, before he proceeded on nibbling on his lower lip, the way he always did when he’s unsure of something, afraid he’d done something wrong. Nino just wished there was some way he could make Ohno understand, to tell him how badly wrong he was to assume that he didn’t want him as much, because – damn, it had been years since he last felt this all-too-consuming desire and it would be stupid of him to give in now, when he knew he couldn’t have Ohno’s full attention on him even if they tried.

The pained look on Ohno’s face reminded him of the many things he never wanted to see and it was all Nino could do not to cross the distance between them and take the older man back into his arms.

“Satoshi, be reasonable,” he grumbled under his breath, but considering the fact that his voice was softer than it usually was when he’s trying to look annoyed even when he’s slowly melting inside, should have been enough for either of them to stop at once. But because Ohno could sometimes act way dumber than Aiba would, he just stood there and continued on staring at Nino while managing to look a lot like a puppy who Nino happened to kick on the head. 

It’s really frustrating sometimes.

Ohno pouted even more, his lips wobbling in a way so pitiful that made Nino snort despite himself. And aside from the fact that Ohno was standing in the middle of his hospital room still gloriously naked only made the situation look a lot like it was taken from some lame porn movie he secretly received from Aiba some years ago.

“Damn it, could you please stop looking at me like that?!” Nino grouched, dropping the bags down and taking tentative steps towards Ohno’s bed and grabbing Ohno’s towel he threw there earlier. He could feel the rise of something hot up to his chest as he dragged his feet forward and gingerly wrapped the towel around Ohno’s naked waist, before he manfully pulled the older man into a tight embrace. 

“ – N-Nino,”

He could feel the tremble of Ohno’s body against him even when he was already in his arms. He wished he could make Ohno understand, wished he could show him without having to say anything because as much as he wanted the intimacy back, he also wanted it to be special and doing it in a place like this felt entirely wrong in so many different levels.

Not to mention the fact that Nino wanted all of Ohno, and he was sure that if they were to do it now, here, Ohno’s mind might drift of somewhere else and Nino didn’t know what he might do if something like that were to happen.

“ – please stop looking at me like, l-like I don’t want you, okay?” he whispered through Ohno’s ears, loud enough for the older man to hear as he threaded his fingers through the hairs at the back of Ohno’s nape. Ohno hummed, sounding wholly unconvinced just as Nino’s hand had moved, plastering his palm against the center of Ohno’s throat. “You’re wrong, I just… I j-just don’t think this is the right time to – you know? I m-mean,” he paused, pressing a light kiss against the side of Ohno’s temple.

Ohno whimpered in a tone that sounded so hurt, so pained. “But I thought you –“

“ – want you..” Nino said firmly, shifting to look Ohno in the eye and moving his fingers from the back of Ohno’s nape to his cheek, stroking gently. “Always. Don’t you ever doubt that.”

“T-Then w-why?” Ohno asked stubbornly, the pout returning; Nino leaned over to kiss it away before tugging at Ohno’s ear playfully.

Sometimes, he didn’t know why he always had to be the smart one even though it was supposed to be the other way around.

“Not now, okay? Not until you’re ready,”

Ohno frowned. “Nino, this isn’t exactly our first time so I think you’re being ridiculous. If you don’t want me then it’s a completely different story or if you already found someone else while I was gone, then I think I have all the right to know –“

Nino clicked his tongue, suddenly touch annoyed; how could Ohno even think of such things when he had clearly told him how he lived his life through those two years he thought Ohno was gone for good? And just because he possessed more brains than Ohno probably ever has to actually stop before he did something he knew would hurt him didn’t mean he had the right to accuse him of infidelity!

There’s a growl he wasn’t able to suppress just as Ohno tried stepping back, out and away from his hold when Nino moved quickly and grabbed the back of Ohno’s nape, mashing their mouths together and effectively shutting Ohno’s mouth up and stealing Ohno’s breath out of his lungs. They were both panting hard by the time Nino pulled back, and Ohno’s fingers were gripping the sleeves of Nino’s shirt for support, his eyes lidded with something heady and predictable.

God, he wanted this damn, sweet little idiot so much he could die.

“Don’t be stupid,” he murmured as he closed his eyes and moved to press their foreheads together. He could still feel the rush of heat radiating from the older man’s cheek as he laid his thumb against it, before moving it down across Ohno’s bottom lip, swiping the wetness with the tips of his finger. “There’s no one else but you, Satoshi… not then, when every single possibility of you being alive turns to nothing but hopeless waiting, and not even when I had finally allowed myself to let you go; not even during those times I allowed myself to get drunk, enough to let other people come closer because in the end, I still pull back knowing that they weren’t you.”

“K-Kazu,”

Ohno remained still before he felt him drop his face against the crook of his neck, quietly breathing his apologies against his skin. 

“ – so stop,” he continued, stroking Ohno’s back and feeling himself shudder at the memory of those nights he wished he could feel Ohno’s body closer to him again, and all the succeeding nights he did nothing but cry over missing him so much. “Stop, because you don’t have the slightest idea how it was like for me when you went missing. Stop saying the things you know would never happen because I’m so fucking in love with you to even look at other people that aren’t you. Stop, Ohchan, just stop –“

“I’m sorry,”

He shook his head and took a step back, cradling Ohno’s face in between his hands and leaning in to drop a kiss over both of Ohno’s eyes. “You don’t have any idea how tempted I was to do more than kiss and hug you ever since you opened your eyes,” Nino said just as softly, as Ohno adjusted more comfortably against him. “ – but it wouldn’t feel right, Satoshi, and you know that as much as I do. If we’re going to make love, and god knows how much I wanted to do just that, then I’d want to have all of you, without the fear of losing you halfway because I know you wouldn’t be able to help yourself if you suddenly space out in the middle of it, just thinking of the many things you have missed and the things you still couldn’t remember and I – I don’t think I’d be able to take it if that happens,”

He could feel Ohno’s smile against the skin of his neck, could feel the grateful kiss Ohno shyly dropped against his collarbones when he squeezed him tight against him; for now, he knew it was better to be contented on snuggling together, just as long as it was Ohno and as long as he was sure that Ohno would be there the next time he turned around.

“A week?” Ohno murmured and for a moment, Nino was confused but then Ohno was pulling back and ruffling Nino’s hair lovingly. 

He threw him a contemplative glance, shoving his hands in his pockets and chuckling. “A week of what?”

Ohno grinned. “Let’s give each other a week after tonight and then let’s see if we could make it past it without thinking of, errr, you know?”

“I’m not going to agree on that because I’m pretty sure I’d lose in the end,” he said, stepping forward again and kissing Ohno full on the lips. “ – I don’t even want to live you alone for one second but if I don’t do that, I’m sure I’m not going to be able to stop myself from throwing you down the bed and –“

Ohno turned to the direction of the bathroom and whistled. “Not my fault if you suddenly developed some kind of silly conscience and an awful lot of self-control to be refusing my offer. Too bad, I was really in the mood for some kneeling and balls nosing –“

“Ohno Satoshi!”

 

#

 

It should be easy, sitting beside the older man while their three other friends literally took the responsibility off his shoulders and just let him as he quietly fidgets nervously, hands gripping Ohno’s own tightly.

Jun made it his duty to prepare them coffees (for Sho and Aiba) and teas (for him, Ohno and Jun himself) before they all settled in the living room. At first, no one wanted to start the conversation, and only the irritating sound of Aiba’s munching (on Ohno’s leftover cookies) made up for the lack of noise as the four of them had their hands around their own mugs, sipping quietly.

That was when Ohno decided he’s had enough of waiting.

And Nino just wished he didn’t have to be afraid of that one inevitable thing he knew Ohno had to discover after all.

“So someone took me in during those times, is that right?” Ohno inquired with his eyes so bright and his voice too clear; Nino tightened his grip against Ohno’s hand and scooted closer, stealing a helpless glance to Jun and Sho over Ohno’s shoulder.

The other three nodded simultaneously, the nervous tick inside Nino’s chest seemed to worsen every single time Ohno threw them a question. “A f-family, to be precise,” Jun followed after clearing his throat, throwing a sideway glance over at Sho. “ – t-they were the ones who found you, a-and w-when they realized you couldn’t remember a thing about yourself, t-they decided to keep you as a replacement for their dead son…”

Ohno tried swallowing back a gasp, and leaned sideways to Nino, eyes shutting closed in a clear attempt to remember; the nervous tick inside Nino’s chest was immediately replaced by a series of worried beats, most especially when Ohno slowly pulled away with a determined look on his face.

“Take me to them,” Ohno stated firmly, and Nino felt like he was suddenly being lit on fire at the determination on Ohno’s voice. 

“S-Satoshi,”

Ohno shifted and gently cupped Nino’s cheek, his eyes bearing the evidence of his request; Nino trembled and closed his eyes without meaning to, feeling Ohno’s soft lips as it landed against his cheeks.

“I want to meet them,”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

They spent the ride to Rika and Hiro’s hometown in silence, and not even the sounds of Jun and Aiba’s loud bickering was enough to take his mind off of what was about to happen; he’s been like that since the night Ohno decided he’d had enough of them being all protective of him like he was a fragile little child, and just went on about them giving him what he knew he deserved.

The truth. 

Nino couldn’t deny it though, and as much as he hated the fact that there was absolutely no way to avoid the inevitable, or at least delay it until he was sure Ohno’s ready to hear all about it, he still wished they didn’t have to go through with it at all. He wasn’t that good at keeping his emotions in check, most especially when it came to Ohno and the others were perfectly aware at how badly he was trying not to humiliate himself by keeping his mouth shut up until now.

He wished he could be able to keep this charade up until that moment they would have to let Ohno go and allow him the luxury of asking those questions himself; it wouldn’t be easy and Nino never expected things to be but still, he couldn’t help but wish for things to be somewhat a little different from what it was now. 

It didn’t help that he’s more than a little scared knowing that he’d have to stand in the sidelines and just wait in quiet contemplation while the love of his fucking life was busy recalling the days he spent away from his world, and the days that were all but filled with nothing aside from painful memories on Nino’s part.

He felt a hand slipped against his own, long fingers sliding in between his own smaller ones and the owner of the said hand had moved to tug him closer; Nino’s eyes closed on their own, biting down on his lips to stop himself from saying anything inappropriate and probably making a further fool out of himself in the process.

“Kazu, please talk to me,” Ohno whispered against Nino’s temple, and Nino had to literally stop himself from doing exactly what Ohno had requested just now, because he knew that when he started, he might not be able to stop. 

He bit the inside of his cheeks, and allowed the heat of the older man’s body lulled him to calmness the way he’s always been able to; it should be fairly easy to pretend that this wasn’t killing him slowly inside knowing that in the end, Ohno was still his.

Only, he was afraid he might not be able to like what’d happen when Ohno and Hiro’s parents meet after the accident.

“ – you know I need to do this,” Ohno followed after a few beats and Nino had to shift to bury his face against Ohno’s shoulder, sniffing quietly; he knew he’s acting like a complete girl, but after all these time and being given the second chance to make things right, he needed Ohno to reassure him that he’d be there when he turned around again. And when he knew he didn’t have the strength or the heart to say it out loud, he trusted Ohno to understand, enough to hold him tight when he’s silently beating himself up like this. 

“I know,” he responded quietly, muffling his words against Ohno’s skin as Ohno’s arm tugged him closer to his side. “ – I’m just… I d-don’t… I.. I’m s-scared,” he said finally, and felt Ohno’s lips against his temple, the older man’s thumb moving under his chin to raise his face up.

The look Ohno gave him then was full of love, full of fondness that Nino nearly choked on the emotion welling up to his throat in an instant; he couldn’t care less if the others were just there, witnessing this all-too-sappy moment because he couldn’t even find it in him to give a damn about anything aside from the fact that he was looking through the eyes of the man he was still madly in love with.

“Scared of what?” Ohno asked softly, smiling as he stroked the corners of Nino’s mouth with the tips of his finger. “ – if there’s anyone who should be scared, shouldn’t it be me?” 

“I don’t know,” he said, looking down and away, fidgeting against the button of Ohno’s shirt. “ – maybe… maybe I’m scared you’d end up wanting to stay with them instead of going home with me...”

There’s a sound of collective snorts and chuckles and Nino felt his cheeks warmed up instantly; he scowled and gave the other three the middle finger from behind Ohno’s shoulder. Aiba giggled when Jun childishly stuck his tongue out and Nino hid his snicker against Ohno’s neck.

Ohno’s fingers moved to ruffle at his hair before settling them along the curve of his neck. He could feel the older man’s steady breathing, and the almost possessive way he’s holding him close to him. Ohno shifted again and Nino found his face being lifted up by one of Ohno’s fingers hooked under his chin. 

“Rest assured, that’s never going to happen,” Ohno mused, playfully biting on his earlobe before dragging his lips down to the line of his jaw; Nino shivered involuntarily, forcing himself to remember that this wasn’t the time to let himself be distracted by Ohno’s obvious advances. 

But then Ohno was speaking again and this time, it was with renewed strength and sincerity that not only surprised him but rendered him speechless as well. “You know what I wanted, and you know full well that I’m doing this not only because I’m curious but because I wanted closure; this is my life we’re talking about here, Kazu, and as much as I wanted to continue living it with you, with you guys, the way I have lived it before the accident then I have to close that chapter of my life that I seemed to have forgotten… along with the people I met and people whom I wish to thank for being alive.”

Nino pursed his lips and leaned forward to rest his cheeks against Ohno, feeling the warmth radiating from the other man’s face when he did so; he saw the other three watching them, three different expressions as he passed his eyes through his band mate’s faces. He bit his lips and grimaced when Aiba playfully threw him a kiss, while Sho and Jun shared the same look of combined embarrassment and fondness.

He placed a hand over Ohno’s chest, enjoying the way the older man’s heartbeat thumped in rhythm of his own; there wasn’t any use of getting scared over something that hadn’t happened yet and he knew that after all these years, he was strong enough to endure anything that would come his way as long as he knew that the older man would be there to hold his hand.

“I love you,” he whispered, closing his eyes and letting Ohno’s hold saved him from himself, and from the many scary things he still couldn’t find the strength to face alone. Ohno nodded quietly and shifted to pull him closer, until he ended up mostly on top of Ohno’s lap as he buried his nose against the crook of Ohno’s neck. 

Ohno chuckled and stroked his elbow, his breath a warm and a comforting reminder how badly he missed this closeness. “You know I love you too, Kazu,” he responded in the same soft tone that always did something to Nino’s senses and he’s shaking within minutes as his hands moved to grab at Ohno’s own, gripping them tightly. “ – so much… too much… and please don’t make me end that with a kiss because I don’t want to be killed by Jun-kun’s rings… at least not until we were able to –”

“Ugh, guys,” Sho called from the background, sounding pained and disgusted but Nino wasn’t giving them any chance to follow it as he raised his face and curled his hands around the back of Ohno’s neck, and kissing Ohno as passionately as he could.

#

They arrived half an hour before the sun sets and Nino was mostly glad for his friends’ presence around him when Hiro’s mother had quickly turned and sobbed against her husband’s chest the minute she saw Ohno. Ohno on the other hand, had looked completely torn between leaving Nino’s side and stepping forward to wrap the older woman in his arms the way he would normally do when it’s his mother or Nino’s mother or anyone else’s mother he saw crying in front of him. 

Nino chose that exact moment to act all selfish by quickly tugging at Ohno’s hand and worming an arm around the older man’s waist possessively which earned him a not-so-gentle smack against the back of his head from Jun.

Sho cleared his throat and stepped forward with a bow and an automatic greeting.

“Good evening,” Sho greeted firmly and the four of them followed along, with Nino’s arm still wrapped tightly around Ohno’s waist. He had no intention of letting go, and it was probably the reason why Jun made a discontented noise from the back of his throat before Nino found himself being tugged away from Ohno’s side with a startled yelp. Sho threw them a glare before making it his job to pull Ohno beside him, and positively ignoring Nino’s icy glare in return.

“ – we apologize for troubling you, Ma’am, Sir –“ Sho started with another bow and an almost hesitant smile; Hiro’s mother trembled yet again, her muffled cries sounded deeply pained and it was all they could do not to wince as they stood by, waiting patiently for any one of them to make the first move.

It was when Nino saw Ohno shuffled forward, his steps faltering for a split second, hesitating a bit before he was probably overcame by his own gentle nature and reached to softly closed his hand around the older woman’s elbow; Hiro’s father looked like he was also trying in vain not to show any emotion, but with the awful way he’s biting down on his trembling lips told them that he wasn’t doing a good job at trying.

The older woman’s cries stopped abruptly, and she unburied her face from her husband’s chest to throw a half-surprise, half-horrified glance at the man who had been her son’s replacement for over two years, locking her gaze onto Ohno’s face as she trembled. Ohno’s hold had tightened around her elbow, at the same time her lips quivered in a way that made a shudder run up Nino’s spine just by imagining looking at Ohno’s face at that moment. The tense set of Ohno’s shoulder relaxed visibly when the older woman turned to face Ohno properly, and her trembling fingers only had a little trouble finding Ohno’s own when Ohno’s lips slowly curved into a soft, grateful smile.

“H-Hi –“ she called, stopping in the middle of calling out his dead son’s name when she felt her husband’s hand settled on top of her shoulder, like a gentle reminder of what she wasn’t supposed to say; she looked down, bit on her lips hard as quiet tears flowed freely down her face. 

Nino looked away, feeling a hot swelling in his chest at the same time Aiba’s arm had draped protectively over his shoulders, and Jun managed to slip his hand against Nino’s own, squeezing in what could only mean a quiet support. 

“His handling this just fine, Nino,” Aiba whispered; the only thing Nino could do was nod, just as he once again focused his eyes onto Ohno’s back.

So it was kind of surprising to witness Ohno as he shook his head once, then moved to grab the older woman’s hand and pulled her closer, before finally wrapping his arms around her still trembling form and whispered;

“I c-came back to p-properly thank you –“ he paused, swallowed and breathed deeply, “ – O-Okaasan…”

The older woman’s cries turned to violent sobs and Ohno held her close against him, tight enough to suffocate the older woman but they figured she didn’t mind; not when she’s gripping Ohno’s shirt tightly in return, the force of her sobs rocking them both as Ohno brushed soothing touches across the older woman’s back.

They stood in silence and just opted on watching this heart-wrenching reunion even though a part of them wanted to simply skipped this part and moved straight into wanting to sit down to throw the necessary questions already. Nino’s heart ached at the sight, his fingers itched to reach over and closed his hands around Ohno’s own just to make sure he’s not about to lose the older man to this family again, never again. 

“Everything’s fine, Nino,” Jun reassured him in the softest tone Nino’s ever heard him used, repeating it until Nino nodded quietly against Aiba’s shoulder; there’s a moment of stilled silence and just when Nino thought it was safe enough to look around, a familiar voice yelled from somewhere behind them, effectively stopping Nino’s heart from beating and his brain from functioning properly.

_“Papa! Papa!”_


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted in my LJ

**Part 1**

It was in this moment wherein Nino wished his presence wasn’t needed, simply because he knew how painful it was to be standing there without possessing the usual strength he used to have in him; there was a clutch in his chest that forbade him from doing anything aside from whimpering his words against someone else’s chest, while he stood there and occasionally looking round only to watch a dozen different emotions passing through Ohno’s face, each one surprisingly unreadable than the last.

He suddenly felt so afraid he didn’t even know how to describe it.

It was just like in the movies, like everything was suddenly moving in irritatingly slow movement, probably only lacking the cheesy music that usually went with the scene; Nino had to remind himself that this was real, that this was happening, along with the fact that he was in it and that he couldn’t get out no matter how hard he tried to.

“Do you want to go outside for some air, Kazu?” Jun whispered, fingers tightening their grip against his shoulder and Nino was half-glad his friends were there to make the decision for him when he knew he didn’t have the capacity to even think for himself. He nodded against Jun’s shoulder, feeling another set of hands landing on top of his shoulders, patting him softly, affectionately, while he tried ignoring the sounds of the boy’s heartbreaking cries in the background. 

He never expected this, as much as he didn’t expect being caught in the middle of all these roller coaster – like emotion; he’d been afraid of not knowing what to expect, but this, this certainly wasn’t something he’d anticipated.

It felt like he’d been struck by a powerful lightning by the time he was able to focus his eyes, enough to realize that the boy had firmly attached himself against one of Ohno’s legs, wailing helplessly, pityingly. He didn’t think he would be able to erase that from his memory, let alone think that he’d be able to stop his Ohchan from whatever it was he would decide upon knowing the existence of the boy or to even let himself believe that he had the power to contradict Ohno after seeing the look of pure astonishment written across the older man’s face.

Ohno took the boy in his arms tightly but carefully, dropping soft kisses on top of his head while the boy’s little arms had wrapped around Ohno’s neck tight enough to hurt, still crying on top of his voice and trembling. 

Nino kind of wished he had the power to bring the dead back to like if only to give this boy the parents who were heartlessly taken away from him, if he could, if only he could.

He heard Ohno’s voice calling out to him, his voice so familiar and soft despite the painful sound of the little boy’s sobs, and as much as he wanted to stay there, to stand and wait and let Ohno know that he’s cool with anything that might happen now, he knew he couldn’t.

And Ohno just needed to understand that.

“We’re going to take him out for some fresh air, Leader,” Jun volunteered to answer, but his voice clearly betraying the emotions he most likely wanted to convey; Nino could feel the underlying pain and hesitation through his younger friend’s tone, and wishing he was strong enough to keep the charade up until the very end.

He breathed in deep, releasing it slowly and stretching to steady himself with a hand firmly gripping at Jun’s arm, turning round to smile at Ohno for the first time since they arrived there. He couldn’t believe how hard it was, now that he was looking at Ohno and seeing how miserable the older man looked even with his arms bunched around the still trembling boy and staring at him with such intense look on his face. It should be fairly easy to pretend that it wasn’t bothering him as much as it was now, but somehow, he knew that Ohno knew how hard it was to stay and fight when he didn’t even know where he stood anymore.

“K-Kazu,”

Ohno tucked the boy’s head under his chin, gaze sweeping past Jun and eyes locking on Nino’s for a long moment before he nodded. Nino bit his tongue and nodded back, fighting the urge to scream out loud.

“J-Just take your time,” he managed to breathed out even after the fact that he was trying not to throw a tantrum and ending up to be more of a child than the one Ohno was currently holding close to him. “ – we’ll just… w-we’ll just wait for you outside,”

It felt almost another eternity before he allowed himself to breath, enough to see the soft, undoubtedly grateful smile breaking at the corners of Ohno’s mouth.

 

#

 

“Are you sure you’re okay with leaving him alone in there?” Jun asked after such a long moment, each of them taking a long drag of the cigarette Aiba had mysteriously produced out of nowhere. Nino felt the chilly air hitting the bare skin of his face, hugging himself tighter and puffing the white smoke in perfect little circles, making Jun chuckle in spite of the circumstances they were currently in.

Nino made a soft, almost incoherent sound at the back of his throat as he felt Aiba’s long arms wounding around his waist, and pulling him closer to his taller friend’s side. 

“It looks like he already remembers him,” Aiba mumbled softly, carefully, and Nino did his best not to shudder at the after effects of those words, knowing exactly what Aiba meant and exactly what it would be if ever –

Jun made a face beside them. “But it doesn’t mean Leader’s going to keep him, right?”

“We don’t know that yet,” Sho cut in for the first time, taking the cigarette Jun was offering and nodding at Jun before shoving the forbidden nicotine into his mouth. “ – besides, even if Satoshi-kun says he wants him, it doesn’t mean he could have him. It’s not that simple, and we all know he’s not the boy’s real father. I mean – Rika-chan’s parent’s should have the last say on that, right?” he said, turning to glance at Nino.

Nino looked doubtful but kept quiet; he actually didn’t want to make a comment on the issue, because he knew that his friends knew where he stood in all these. He had a choice then, but he chose not to do it simply because he knew it wasn’t his call, it never was; he trusted Ohno to know which path he needed to take, and Nino knew that no matter what Ohno decided after this, he was sure it was what the older man wanted.

He swallowed the lump that had started forming in his throat, dropping the remains of his cigarette and stomped on it repeatedly. 

“Nino-chan?”

Nino pursed his trembling lips, crossing his arms over his chest in an obvious protective gesture. 

“H-He might go for it,” he whispered and three pairs of surprised, disbelieving eyes shifting towards him; he looked down on his feet and sighed. “ – y-you know how dumb he thinks sometimes, right? And judging with the way he held the boy in his arms, it wouldn’t surprise me if he comes out from there right now and tell us to prepare all the necessary papers so he could legally adopt him,”

Sho and Jun simultaneously made a disbelieving snort while Aiba muffled his giggles against Nino’s neck. 

“Does that mean you’re all ready to be a mother, Ninomiya?” Jun inquired in the same breath he probably used when he’s teasing Nino’s choice of tie for the day and Nino rolled his eyes in return.

“I guess I am, but only if you’re ready to be his god mother,” he countered; Jun reached over and flicked at his ear.

Sho seemed wholly doubtful and Nino kind of want to share the older man’s way of thinking, if only he wasn’t aware at how Ohno Satoshi’s mind worked; it felt rather disconcerting knowing that he couldn’t do anything at this point.

“I’m… w-well, I guess we just need to wait and ask –“

“Kazu,” Ohno called, cutting him instantly and Nino was already turning around, eyes finding Ohno standing a few steps away from them, hands shoved inside his pants’ pockets and looking as though he’d needed all the comfort he could get despite being the only one who could turn Nino’s world around just by simply standing there.

“Satoshi?” he responded with shiver, his feet moving on their own again and finding himself walking in quick, unfaltering steps towards the older man. Ohno’s eyes were red and puffy, and he kept biting on his lips like he’s trying hard not cry and Nino simply grabbed the older man and pulled Ohno’s face in his neck.

Ohno’s body trembled violently against him, shaking as he muffled his cries against Nino’s skin.

“O-Ohchan?”

Nino felt Ohno shook his head against him, his slender frame suddenly felt so vulnerable, so small in Nino’s arms and Nino did all he could to anchor Ohno down, holding him firmly if only to keep the older man from falling apart.

“ – w-what is it?” Nino managed to murmur, fingers carding softly through Ohno’s hair. “T-Tell me, Satoshi… tell me…”

Ohno looked up then, lower lip trembling in a way so pitiful before Nino felt Ohno’s hand came up to wound around his neck, pulling his face and kissing him hard and fast. Then he was pulling back just as quickly and Nino suddenly felt too afraid to ask him again.

Ohno’s eyes bore the answers to the questions even without saying them out loud.

He bravely nodded and cupped Ohno’s chin, leaning forward to press a lingering kiss to the tip of Ohno’s nose.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered shakily, his world suddenly tilting off its axis at the realization that this probably was it. He leaned forward and buried his nose through Ohno’s hair, feeling the warm prickle of tears as they formed at the corners of his eyes. Ohno’s hands tightened their grip against his shoulders and Nino knew then; he inhaled once and squeezed Ohno so tight and whispered,

“ – I am not going to make you choose,” he said bravely, pushing Ohno back and smiling through the hazy, almost bizarre pain that’s assaulting his senses. “This time, I am going stay here and wait until you are ready to choose what you want, when you want it, and how you want it. I am going to stay right here, Satoshi; while you go and do what your heart wants you to…”

++++

 

**Part 2**

 

In the end, Nino realized that choosing to leave that place at once was possibly the easiest way out.

He didn’t think it would hurt this much, and his friends had probably sensed how badly he just wanted to be left alone. It stung in a way he couldn’t explain, and painful in a way that made him want to curl onto himself, and maybe cry so hard until he’s able to think clearly again.

He knew he didn’t have any reason to be afraid, but it only made him all the more anxious knowing that he wasn’t the one calling the shots this time; Ohno had made it clear, even when the older man didn’t even as much as spoke a single word and just held on to him then.

It must have been the way Ohno embraced him, the way he buried his face against his neck as he cried silently; it must be the way Ohno breathed against his skin, arms tight and clinging around him as if telling him, begging him to understand when Nino knew, even without the older man asking him out loud that he already had.

He just didn’t know it’d be this painful.

He didn’t even look back, just started walking away after he had allowed himself to be kissed for the last time, feeling the way Ohno’s lips trembled against his own as their mouths met softly. There was the same tenderness he’d known only with Ohno, the same head rush he usually felt when Ohno kissed him the way only the older man could. It was something he could probably get lost into, clinging unto the older man as he answered the kiss just as passionately.

When he pulled back, Ohno was gazing at him solemnly, like he’s glad that he didn’t even need to put effort into explaining things to Nino, simply because Nino understood him like no one ever could. He smiled and it was all Nino could do not to throw his arms around the older man and take him far, as far away from that place as possible, because Nino was selfish and Ohno probably just forgot how greedy Nino’s always been when it came to him.

But Nino loved Ohno so much to insist what he wanted, to keep making the choice for Ohno because he knew Ohno needed this so he could be able to breathe freely, so he didn’t have to look back and regret not knowing what would happen if he went ahead and discovered it himself. 

So Nino had to force himself to let go, to smile and to allow Ohno the luxury of doing things on his own – to decide for himself what he wanted, at least for now.

He uncurled his arms around himself, looking around to find his band mates sitting as far away as they could from him; Sho’s car wasn’t even big to begin with, and he’d taken permanent residence on the back seat, while his friends had to literally squeeze themselves in the front, with Aiba on the driver’s seat while Jun and Sho shared the passenger’s seat.

The funny thing was, the car didn’t seem to be moving at all.

“I thought I said I wanted to go home,” he muttered darkly, pulling himself upright and ignoring the way his three friends were exchanging meaningful glances even when he was actually just right in front of them; he frowned just as Aiba had turned and looked over him, his lips curling into its familiar fond smile, making Nino smile in return (he had to, there was no helping it, it’s probably an Aiba thing). He scowled afterwards though, knowing that his friends could once again read him like an open book.

“Wanted – ,” Jun offered with a smile, “ – that’s the operative word. Meaning, it’s already in the past, you wanted to go home before, but what about now?” he asked with a smug kind of grin; Nino kind of want to reach over and smack him on the face, but decided against it, thinking that it’d be too much of a hassle to try and move from his very comfortable position just to erase that stupid grin off of Jun’s face with his fist. 

“Don’t get smart with me, Matsumoto,” he snorted, brushing his bangs off his eyes and throwing Jun a look that said ‘You know I’m smarter than you so quit it’. “I know what I want and that’s exactly what I told you retards earlier. Now, be a good boy and let Masaki drive the car the hell away from this place before I –“

“I heard the port where they found Leader before isn’t that far from here,” Aiba mumbled, probably only to himself but it was loud enough to reach Nino’s ears, and enough to make Nino tremble despite himself, despite his best efforts to ignore the surge of pain shooting him from deep within. Then Aiba was looking at him, throwing him an encouraging little smile and waiting; Nino shook his head, suddenly feeling afraid of what he might uncover if he agreed, if he said yes; “ – come on, Nino-chan… don’t you want to see it? Well, we do, yeah?” he said, getting the nods of agreement from the other two and Nino just knew betrayal when he saw one.

“Keep that up and I swear to god, I will go home by walking out of here on foot and I’ll let my Manager deal with you after… surely, you don’t want him to –“

But Aiba was nothing but stubborn, just like the rest of them were, smiling at Nino in a way that suggested he didn’t believe a thing Nino was saying and Nino knew he didn’t even have enough strength left on him to actually say no, not when the only thing he wanted to do was to be with Ohno, and never to be apart from the older man like he’d been before.

“We’ll just pass by there and check it out, Nino-chan… Matsuda- papa said the place looks pretty at this hour – we could just stay there for a bit and then stop to a nearby restaurant to have dinner, and maybe try and find a place to stay for the night. What do you say?” 

He looked down without saying anything, biting on his lips and keeping himself still; he didn’t need to answer, and Aiba didn’t even need to ask twice as he quietly started the car, with Jun and Sho sharing the same smile Nino knew ended up on both his friend’s faces without even looking up to confirm it.

He sighed and resigned himself to being the unlucky bastard to receive fate’s cruelty for the day; there’s no helping it, he thought dryly, but at least he had his friends to lean on when everything turned to be too unbearable, too hard for him to face alone.

#

The port Aiba happened to be boasting about was THE Naha port itself – Okinawa’s largest port and center of most businesses in Okinawa.

Nino didn’t care about the island before, and he didn’t think he would start caring now, not even after the fact that here was where the Matsuda’s found Ohno that fateful day – most especially over the fact that here was where it all began. He knew he still wasn’t over it, the pain, the anguish, and not even the fact that they’ve got Ohno back was enough to erase all of the pain they had to endure during those years.

He stood back, breathing the salty air and watching his band mates fuzzed about the scenery with as much enthusiasm as bunch of first graders experiencing their very first summer camp together, and though Nino found it hard not to appreciate the view himself, he stayed quiet and just went on about keeping his thoughts to himself.

There were boats, in different varieties of shapes and colors, with few people running here and there to maybe finish their businesses for the day. The sun was just about to set, and the sight of it was enough to at least calm Nino’s nerves down.

He caught on Sho and Jun as they tried burying Aiba under the sand, the taller man giggling helplessly and trying to keep himself still as Jun threatened to whack him on the head with the plastic pail. He snorted and thought about the many times they had to watch Aiba and Ohno doing the same thing, and at the memory of Ohno’s face literally lighting up whenever he caught Nino watching him fondly, lovingly.

He took another long drag on the cigarette he managed to stole from Aiba’s pocket, shivering a little when the cold wind hit him suddenly; there were so many memories he yet to allow himself remembering, still wanting to keep them buried deep inside him in fear of not having to experience them all over again, most especially now that…

“You left,” someone breathed from behind him and Nino felt like his heart had suddenly jumped out of his chest; he had to literally stop himself from shaking, biting on his lips and trying in vain to keep his cool even though the only thing he’d badly wanted to do was to turn around and meet the eyes of the voice that just spoke behind him. “ – I was looking for you… good thing Otosan told me that you guys – well, I think it was Aiba-chan who asked him about the place where they found me, saying that you guys wanted to check it out and – K-Kazu?”

There was a falter in his voice that made Nino cringe, a shudder in his tone that meant more than what he was asking and Nino’s heart ached at having to be the reason for Ohno’s pain. But he was in pain too, and he knew it’d be hard to stay strong when he didn’t even know where he stood now, here and in Ohno’s life.

He smiled without turning round, tightening his hold around himself as another shudder ran up his spine. “W-We were supposed to go home,” he said, taking another drag from his cigarette and trying to keep his fingers from trembling, from letting Ohno see how badly he’s taking all these. “ – but the idiots are obviously plotting something behind my back, and that is probably why you’re here now. Y-You… You didn’t have to go after me, you know… didn’t I tell you to take your time and –“

Nino’s words were cut off by a pair of arms wrapping him from behind, the cigarette falling down his feet; he groaned, frustration creeping up to the corners of his mouth when Ohno shifted, leaning in closer to nuzzle his ear. “There’s no need for that, Kazu,” Ohno murmured against the nape of Nino’s neck, his body was warm and familiar against Nino’s back. “ – don’t you want me?” he asked in a hesitant tone and Nino kind of regretted having his back turned on the older man when he’s obviously planning on driving him crazy like this. 

“S-Satoshi, please stop being a jerk and let me go… t-this isn’t even… y-you’re not being fair and you know it! Just when I’ve decided to act all mature and let you do what you want for once, you’re doing this. What do you want me to do? What else do you want from me? I’ve given you enough choices, and the only thing you have to do now is -”

“But I don’t need them, Nino,” Ohno responded in the same manner, completely taking Nino by surprise and temporarily making him forget how to breathe. “ – I don’t need to choose, and you’re not supposed to force those choices on me just because you think it’s the right thing to do. I don’t need them. I only need you.”

Nino breathed sharply, his consciousness edging to slide dangerously down a hysterical path just because Ohno chose that exact moment to throw in words he knew would melt Nino’s defenses down, words he knew would make Nino love him even more than he did now.

“I… w-what – ?” he asked stupidly, not even daring moving because he was still being trapped inside Ohno’s arms and trying to make sense of the words Ohno had carelessly threw onto him without actually bursting into tears. 

“What? – “ Ohno’s response was as quick as Nino’s breathing, and Nino could feel the grin breaking at the corners of Ohno’s mouth as his lips attached itself softly against his skin. “ – were you waiting for me to come home with Rika-chan’s son in tow? Why, I didn’t know your expectation of me was –“

“Well, can you blame me?” Nino said in between gritted teeth, wanting to regain the upper hand at least in terms of conversing since Ohno’s arms were still firmly trapping him, not even allowing any slight movement that would mean letting Nino go. “You went out from that house in tears, and you looked like you wanted nothing but to keep that boy and never let him out of your sight,” he accused, feeling himself flushed at Ohno’s answering chuckles. Bastard.

“It’s not like that, Kazu,” Ohno tried once again, brushing his lips against the nape of Nino’s neck and mindful of the way Nino’s shivering lightly against him; “ – and you know me better than that.. I j-just.. I didn’t know about his existence until I saw him and it’s painful to think that he lost the only parent he has, his mother, because of me,” Ohno breathed lowly, shakily, that Nino wasn’t sure if Ohno was still talking to him or if he was merely saying his thoughts out loud.

“Satoshi,”

“But it’s already a done thing, and I know we couldn’t do anything to change it. That boy, he still doesn’t know the truth about me, and no one has the heart to actually tell him about it, to right the wrongs and allow him to grieve for the father he had lost long ago. I couldn’t, and neither does Rika-chan’s parents…”

Nino nodded solemnly. “So what are you telling me? That there’s absolutely nothing you could do but to take him? Are you asking me to help you prepare his adoption papers so you could start living together?” he said, and he knew he sounded like nothing but a first-grade bitch but he couldn’t help it, couldn’t bring himself enough to stop it and he knew neither could Ohno; he knew he was supposed to understand, but facing the reality of the thing he was dreading to face up front was entirely different from barely anticipating it.

“Kazu,” Ohno chuckled, hold tightening around him and apparently enjoying torturing Nino by dropping an open-mouthed kiss against the side of Nino’s neck. “ – would you please listen to me first? That is not what I meant; you have to believe me,”

Nino snorted. “Yeah, right; as if there’s something more to believe in besides you wanting to adopt that boy so you could both live happily ever after,”

Ohno shook his head behind him and leaned forward to dig his teeth against Nino’s shoulder. He winced and tried wriggling himself free, but Ohno was, and always has been, stronger than most of them, and most especially him. He uttered a curse and Ohno simply dug his teeth against the collar of his shirt and tugged it down, then attaching his warm lips against the newly-revealed patch of pale skin.

“You’re wrong,” Ohno mumbled through his skin, fingers dragging across Nino’s stomach and making Nino shiver. “ – I may have lived with them for a few years, may even enjoyed those few years like what Hiro-san’s parents had told me – but not that I’m aware if I really did because I still couldn’t remember – but I’m sure as hell could live perfectly fine without them in my life,”

There was a spark of something hot buzzing through Nino’s ears, and not even the fact that his friends were noisily hooting their apparent joy at seeing them folded against each other like they’re practically one person was enough to take Nino’s attention away from Ohno; he couldn’t, not now, not when Ohno’s finally saying something that would change a lot of things between them.

His breathing picked up and it wasn’t just because Ohno’s taken to kissing the shell of his ear, his tongue grazing sensually over the sensitive skin and nipping under and around it all at the same time. “A-And this should make me happy? How?”

“I don’t know if it would but if there’s anything I could do to erase that doubt off your mind, tell me and I’d do it…” Ohno said softly, lovingly; “ – but if there’s nothing, and you still think that I’m going to choose them over you, and over the life I have with you – then you’re absolutely wrong…”

Nino was sure he was going to melt under Ohno’s ministrations, could barely even think over the sensation of having the older man so near like this, and hearing him say those words he didn’t think he’d be able to hear again. 

“Prove it,” he whispered hoarsely, tilting his head to the side and allowing Ohno’s lips to skim the pale skin of his neck thoroughly, encouraging him with little whimpering sounds escaping through his lips. 

“I love you,” Ohno breathed through his skin, his lips stroking tenderly at the spot he had just breathed his words into; “ – and please stop thinking that it would make me happy choosing other people over you because it won’t. I’ve been with you far longer than I could even remember, have done things with you that even our band mates in their drunken state wouldn’t dare imagine, let alone stand to hear,”

“O-Oh –“

“Shh, I’m not done yet,” Ohno shushed him, pressing his body closer until Nino’s left gasping at the obvious hardness poking him from behind; he pressed back, moaning quietly when Ohno simply dipped his head and kissed his shoulder, dragging his lips up to the underside of Nino’s left ear and sucking that tender spot with urgency. Then, with as much tenderness his voice could allow him, he whispered,

“I love you; even when you do things that drives me crazy everytime, even when you don’t believe most of what I tell you because you’re too stubborn for your own good, even when I have to repeat those words over and over just to assure you that I do. I love you – because you make me happy in a way that no one ever could, because you make me think of the future without getting scared knowing that you’d be there, that you’d still be there even when I’m no longer the hottest thing you’d ever lay your eyes on. I love you – because you make me do crazy things without even thinking, because you are the only person in the world who could make my heart stop if you want it to; I love you – because even if I stop and think of the things I probably hate about you, I still end up thinking of the many things you do that make me love you, maybe even more than I do, now. I love you – because there is nowhere I’d rather be than beside you, because I’ve resigned to spending the rest of my days with you, and because my life starts and ends when I’m with you…” 

Damn – was the only thing Nino’s brain was able to come up with before it completely melted down, biting on his quivering lips to stop himself bawling out loud for the whole world to see. Damn Ohno for being the world’s sappiest bastard, and for literally taking his breath away by saying those things that would make any fangirl die in envy.

And he loved this sappy bastard so much he could die right now, loved him with all his heart and soul and with every little part of him that he’d bare to Ohno alone; He love him, and this was probably the right moment for him to say something but his throat felt like it had closed on its own and he suddenly found it very hard to think of anything besides the fact that Ohno was lovingly placing sweet, little kisses across his neck and shoulder blades.

“K-Kazu?”

“Take me home, Ohchan,” Nino breathed, his eyes closing on their own and moving his hands to grab onto Ohno’s warm ones; Ohno responded automatically, letting their hands tangling together and dropping another kiss against the back of Nino’s neck before his arms loosened their hold around Nino and allowed Nino to finally turn inside his arms, enough for him to bury his face against Ohno’s chest. “ – t-take me home… take me home, Satoshi, please?”

Ohno shook his head, fingers moving to cup Nino’s chin and forcing Nino’s face up, prompting Nino to open his eyes and meet his. When Nino finally gathered enough courage to look him in the eye, the younger man gasped sharply, the tears that were flowing down Ohno’s cheek were reason enough for him to believe. 

“T-Tell me, Kazu,” he mumbled shakily, taking Nino’s face in between his hands and keeping their gazes locked as much as he could; Nino started crying probably without even meaning to and it was all Ohno could do not to lean in, brushing his lips against Nino’s quivering own. “ – tell me you believe me… tell me please,” 

Nino nodded and pressed his body closer to the older man’s, opening his lips and guiding Ohno’s tongue inside with a delighted moan; his chest felt close to bursting and he guessed it was only because he was too damn happy to even give a damn.

“I love you then as I love you now, Satoshi,” he confessed softly, breathing the words against Ohno’s mouth and delighting in the way Ohno smiled contentedly in return; he nipped at Ohno’s bottom lip and wrapped his arms around Ohno’s waist, squeezing the older man tight as he kissed him again. “ – maybe even more now,”

Ohno’s smile was as bright as the sun rises. “Prove it,” Ohno chuckled, repeating Nino’s words teasingly.

Nino grinned and pecked the tips of Ohno’s nose. “Take me home and I will, Ohchan; I promise you that I will,”

Ohno laced their hands together, leaning in forward again and placing a soft, tender kiss against Nino’s lips, while their three other friends ran towards them and stopping to embraced them both tightly.

Nino sighed and kept his grip against Ohno’s waist. “Let’s go home,”


End file.
